love, nah, not really

I often get called beautiful by other people's mothers, and these days I fear it is because they're trying to be kind but that they honestly can't think of any other positive thing to say.

lol, I would have loved a run of the mill "beautiful" compliment from the mother.
It would have been much better then the evil "Your about to take my son away from me ***** and I hate you for it already" look on the mother's face! :D:rolleyes:
 

Aletheia

Well-known member
A third idea is that they barely know you, so they can't compliment on anything else because they don't know that much about you.

You have good insight into human nature, DW.

I do think it is a merit badge sort of thing: they want to be welcoming toward their son's new girlfriend (or kind/pitying in the case of my mother's friends). They want to be good people.

But that's not what I see in the mirror, so the dissonance messes with my head.
 
if i make the effort AND risk making a fool of myself to compliment a woman, you can be assured that i'm sincere

i could just as easily say nothing at all - why would i expend the energy otherwise?

i'm sure i'm not the only man who thinks this way

Hmm I never thought of it that way. Mostly I just assume that a) his friends are somewhere nearby sniggering that he drew the short straw or b) hes being kind and its pity... But I didn't always think like this, for me its simply because recently I havent been well so I do look different. I gained weight, lost hair, destroyed my complexion and changed appearance significantly and although I am returning to my self again and look 90% healthy person and at least 60% back to me and once again recognisable ....it takes my brain a little longer to catch up.

Alas if that had never happened I wouldn't be paranoid if a guy was nice to me.

Ps coyote chat doesnt work on my phone :-( . I can see the chat thingy only sometimes and usually cant read the msg sorry i only saw the bubble much later and couldnt open it
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
Hmm I never thought of it that way. Mostly I just assume that a) his friends are somewhere nearby sniggering that he drew the short straw or b) hes being kind and its pity... But I didn't always think like this, for me its simply because recently I havent been well so I do look different. I gained weight, lost hair, destroyed my complexion and changed appearance significantly and although I am returning to my self again and look 90% healthy person and at least 60% back to me and once again recognisable ....it takes my brain a little longer to catch up.

Alas if that had never happened I wouldn't be paranoid if a guy was nice to me.

Looking at your pictures, I don't see anything wrong with you. It's not a curse to have you as a girlfriend/wife; instead, it's a blessing to have someone as beautiful and strong as you are! Believe that you are the catch to end all catches (or at the very least a rare catch) because you are! I wonder, have your experiences made you totally lose faith in others and think horribly about yourself?
 
if i make the effort AND risk making a fool of myself to compliment a woman, you can be assured that i'm sincere

i could just as easily say nothing at all - why would i expend the energy otherwise?

i'm sure i'm not the only man who thinks this way

<<<<<<<<Correct-o
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Hmm I never thought of it that way. Mostly I just assume that a) his friends are somewhere nearby sniggering that he drew the short straw or b) hes being kind and its pity... But I didn't always think like this, for me its simply because recently I havent been well so I do look different. I gained weight, lost hair, destroyed my complexion and changed appearance significantly and although I am returning to my self again and look 90% healthy person and at least 60% back to me and once again recognisable ....it takes my brain a little longer to catch up.

Alas if that had never happened I wouldn't be paranoid if a guy was nice to me.

Ps coyote chat doesnt work on my phone :-( . I can see the chat thingy only sometimes and usually cant read the msg sorry i only saw the bubble much later and couldnt open it
I'm very much with Deadman here - there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look because I think you are beautiful. You shouldn't be paranoid if a guy pays you attention - he will just be reaffirming what we think. :)
 

Apersonalan

Well-known member
I'm very much with Deadman here - there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look because I think you are beautiful. You shouldn't be paranoid if a guy pays you attention - he will just be reaffirming what we think. :)

I think its too easy to like someone based on their look and tell them that much as it is for people to be confident with their appearence. So the way to weed out the different personalities is to just not give a ****.
 

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
Nothing is wrong with you. I'm exactly the same way and for the same reasons. Because I'm so used to guys looking at me and treating me like a freak I take any friendly gesture from them as a sign that they're interested in me.
 
Thanks ::eek::

I know in theory that I don't really look sick these days, if you didn't know before, you wouldn't know any different, but my brain hasn't caught up with that yet . I still see the sick girl. The body's healing but the psyche takes longer.
 

macs39

Active member
Happened to me a lot of time in the past. Then i realized there was nothing special about it..it's natural and normal for normal people to talk like that..
..and my heart broke ..::(::D
 

Aletheia

Well-known member
the beholder is you

There is no objective Truth. Maybe the sun was shining. Maybe you remind them of your first love. Maybe they were lonely. There's no way to know.

My charismatic nephew is not going to care whether it was his big blue eyes or sweet words that got him into a girl's knickers, he'll be too busy getting his end away.

So leave it to them and see what you see.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
I'm can seem like I'm completely in love with a guy when I' just being nice, this has caused issues with me mistakenly hurting guys feelings.

I've also became some what infatuated with a guy for being kind to me, it usually doesn't last long, though, because I quickly become cynical about it.

I'm also some what use to guys giving me attention. (Why they do is a mystery)
Guys are always trying to be excessively kind to me, it's weird.
Maybe they think I look little and helpless or something? I don't know.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I'm also some what use to guys giving me attention. (Why they do is a mystery)
Guys are always trying to be excessively kind to me, it's weird.
Maybe they think I look little and helpless or something? I don't know.
Maybe guys are giving you attention because they find you attractive? That's my best bet. :)
 
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