Lost my Personality?

[AGlife]

Hey,
From what i read on other posts, it seems it is just anxiety holding you back socially, and that once you get comfortable you can be your regular self. Correct me if I'm wrong.
For me, even if i'm completely relaxed, I still can't hold a conversation to save my life. I don't think there is 1 person in the world who i can talk to and enjoy it. Also, whatever I do say is so boring. I hate this need for perfectionism...
People always say " just be yourself" when offering advice...I dont even know my own personality anymore. Can't distinguish anymore between me and SA.

 

[Noca]

Hey,
From what i read on other posts, it seems it is just anxiety holding you back socially, and that once you get comfortable you can be your regular self. Correct me if I'm wrong.
For me, even if i'm completely relaxed, I still can't hold a conversation to save my life. I don't think there is 1 person in the world who i can talk to and enjoy it. Also, whatever I do say is so boring. I hate this need for perfectionism...
People always say " just be yourself" when offering advice...I dont even know my own personality anymore. Can't distinguish anymore between me and SA.

A lot of SAers lack social skills seeing as they rarely/never use them.

 

[chained]

we are the apolsute same! perfectionist whocant see who they rly are formt who they want to be, am i close?

 

[Newtype]

Ask yourself: Did you even have a personality to begin with?

Sometimes we've had SA for so long, we think that everything in the past was better. It's not because we didn't have SA that we necessarily were "normal". I'm sure there were people who were completely normal before though, but what I'm saying is that's probably not the case for everyone, at least not for me. Perhaps you just need to build that personality.

I also think that once you get SA, your old self gets completely erased and you can never get it back. You need to start all over.

 

[Baguette]

i know how you feel. last week on the train i saw a old buddy from school. after a short time he said you've changed you use to be hell funny.
and he kept telling stories about me and the things i use to do. i forgot about alot of that stuff. it sucks how bad iv become

 

[Blaze]

i know how you feel. last week on the train i saw a old buddy from school. after a short time he said you've changed you use to be hell funny.
and he kept telling stories about me and the things i use to do. i forgot about alot of that stuff. it sucks how bad iv become

I've had a few instances like that recently. I completely understand your situation. When I think of the person I used to be and compare my present self, blows hard.

 

[AGlife]

I also think that once you get SA, your old self gets completely erased and you can never get it back. You need to start all over.

I don't believe that my old self is gone now. I just think of it like SA is just another layer covering my normal self. Here's a story I read that had a good message on that.

" A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. "

 

[jbeenthere]

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. "

that was beautiful... thank you. and we are all actors. some of us are just more comfortable with the parts we have been given to play.

 

[EscapeArtist]

we are the apolsute same! perfectionist whocant see who they rly are formt who they want to be, am i close?

That's EXACTLY it for me.. I've been trying to seperate the two mes (who i want to be and who I am) for years, and I just can't. Who i want to be is the only thing motivating me

 

[chained]

That's EXACTLY it for me.. I've been trying to seperate the two mes (who i want to be and who I am) for years, and I just can't. Who i want to be is the only thing motivating me

exactly....

 

[Predacon]

I don't if SAs its a case of losing a personality, as opposed to maybe creating split personalities. I know I act a lot different to people I'm comfortable with then with total strangers who clam up around.

 

[lef09012]

Hey,
From what i read on other posts, it seems it is just anxiety holding you back socially, and that once you get comfortable you can be your regular self. Correct me if I'm wrong.
For me, even if i'm completely relaxed, I still can't hold a conversation to save my life. I don't think there is 1 person in the world who i can talk to and enjoy it. Also, whatever I do say is so boring. I hate this need for perfectionism...
People always say " just be yourself" when offering advice...I dont even know my own personality anymore. Can't distinguish anymore between me and SA.

That's exactly me. I don't know what is "my self" anymore. As longer sufferes this problem, seems like "my self" becomes smaller and smaller. I hate to say that sometimes I even feel nervous, and judge what I say to my husband. I hate that. I hope myself is still there somewhere inside of me. I feel your pain. I think it's still there, but I'm lacking of interaction with peoplel, so I forgot what to say or act now.

 

[Redskinsfan]

Hey,
From what i read on other posts, it seems it is just anxiety holding you back socially, and that once you get comfortable you can be your regular self. Correct me if I'm wrong.
For me, even if i'm completely relaxed, I still can't hold a conversation to save my life. I don't think there is 1 person in the world who i can talk to and enjoy it. Also, whatever I do say is so boring. I hate this need for perfectionism...
People always say " just be yourself" when offering advice...I dont even know my own personality anymore. Can't distinguish anymore between me and SA.

OMG ...you just described exactly how I feel.

 

[Redskinsfan]

i know how you feel. last week on the train i saw a old buddy from school. after a short time he said you've changed you use to be hell funny.
and he kept telling stories about me and the things i use to do. i forgot about alot of that stuff. it sucks how bad iv become

Wow...kinna sucks that he pointed that out. I'm sorry to hear that. If someone told me that I'd be crushed.

But I do know for a fact that I was different personality wise years ago. I have people remind me of that from time to time.

 

[shore_of_glass]

I think I am quite different from years ago. Social skills improved, but I don't know if that just means that my acting skills improved.
I'm often jealous at those people that are so sure of themselves, they are what they are and they like what they like, they are an entity.

I feel like my personality is a fragile tower of toothpicks.
I'm etheral.

 

[Falkor]

You have a personality. Believe me, You just only see the bad side of yourself.
You want to be perfect. But accept the way you are and that's the key.
And your social skills can get better, you have to train that.
I know how hard it is to get anxious with that, but keep pushing yourself.
Be a little bit more harder to yourself, don't give up so fast ,
I always did it myself , but now i push myself all the time

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

i know how you feel. last week on the train i saw a old buddy from school. after a short time he said you've changed you use to be hell funny.
and he kept telling stories about me and the things i use to do. i forgot about alot of that stuff. it sucks how bad iv become

OUCH! that really sucks. People that I've ran into from the past haven't came out and said stuff like that.. but I think it to myself... I think about how I used to be etc and torture myself over how different I've become. Most people I see from the past though I avoid, or not make any attempt at saying hello. Cause I think Im a totally different person now, like I would be a stranger to them anyway.

 

[vj288]

I don't believe that my old self is gone now. I just think of it like SA is just another layer covering my normal self. Here's a story I read that had a good message on that.

" A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. "

Wow that's a good story to explain it, but what happens if you cut the $20 bill in half...

 

[anxiety1408]

I personally felt I had/have lost my personality since being home for almost a year now, I don't know who I really am.. the who i am, the who i am pretending to be and who i wish to be are 3 different things don;t know where im at...

 

[arsenalwa]

I don't have a "personality" anymore. I just do/say/act whatever/however I feel like at the moment. I "act" all the time. Don't really care anymore, though. "We are what we pretend to be" after all, no?