I need to get this out of my system. So, my brother wanted to get a PhD after he graduates with a bachelor's. I was totally against his decision to get a PhD. Why? I have several very good reasons for this. Growing up, I've had many people tell me that education is the way to success, especially college education. My parents tell me to study, study, study. Believe it or not, I spent almost the entire day schooling - I was at school for 7+ hours, then came back home to study again. I had almost no free time to do other stuff. I had gotten so good at studying that I worked my way towards becoming one of the top students in my year.
I had no life outside of school and studying. I didn't learn much social skills at home. My parents told me that education is more important than, say socializing. I never went to prom, Sadie's dances, or graduation. I just kept studying like nuts. I know, studying has turned into OCD for me. I pulled all nighters too, just to pull off As in class. I had no social life outside of education. I wouldn't know what to do if I don't have school. Excelling in school, being one of the top 10, was the air I breathe. It was my identity - I took a lot of pride in my academic achievements.
This all changed years ago, when I moved away from home and went out to see the real world. In the real world, no one cares about how many PhDs you have, or how smart you are. If you have poor social skills and couldn't connect with people, you're screwed. People hate you just for having poor communication/social skills, nothing personal really. Getting a job requires networking - in fact, many jobs are offered to referrals, i.e. people that you actually know or people that your friends know.
Being ill-equipped to handle the real world, I suffered from depression, mental instability, suicidal feelings, trauma, etc. People don't see me as the "smart" person that I want to come across as. In fact, people don't care how smart I am, or what my IQ is, or whether I went to college. If I can't understand or connect with people, they won't like me.
I've suffered many humiliating incidents in the past years. Everything that I knew about the world was false! Before moving out, I've been seeing the world through rose-colored, tinted glasses. I've never encountered so much bullying, harassment, racism, and other bizzareness.
A few years ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I moved back home and shut myself off from the outside world. It was so revolting and disgusting to me. I didn't want anything to do with it ever again.
But, I digress. My brother wanted a PhD, but I told him don't get it! Why? Because 1) he doesn't need more debt! What he needs is good social skills! 2) Work experience and willingness to learn will trump a PhD anytime! If you have work experience for a job, you will have an advantage over someone who only has a PhD but 0 work experience. My brother needs work experience, never having held a job before. 3) My brother needs help! I don't just mean social skills help, I mean help in mental areas as well.
So, how does this relevant to me and my situation? Sometimes I have people telling me that I should get a advanced degree, such as a Master's or PhD. To them, I say "That's not happening!" If I want to travel abroad, I wouldn't use education as a means to travel, i.e. study abroad or transfer to a foreign university. I would first get a job, then get transferred to a different location. That's my plan, wouldn't you say it's better than the whole study abroad scheme?
So, to recap, I want to 1) get a job, 2) continue networking, 3) continue developing myself at Toastmasters, 4) Continue honing my social, communication, and leadership skills, 5) Find opportunities abroad - if my job allows it, I can volunteer to relocate abroad for 1-2 years and see how that goes.
