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Why a Rejection Letter From Harvard or Other Top Colleges Can Be Surprisingly Helpful | LinkedIn
Getting rejected by top colleges doesn't mean you're a loser/dumbo/inferior person. People often lose sight of the important things. I'm surprised some parents actually go on Twitter to complain about how their straight As, highly intelligent, almost perfect child didn't get into a top college. It makes me wonder, do they care about their child's well being? Are they using their child to boost their own self esteem or something?
Getting rejected by top colleges doesn't mean you're a loser/dumbo/inferior person. People often lose sight of the important things. I'm surprised some parents actually go on Twitter to complain about how their straight As, highly intelligent, almost perfect child didn't get into a top college. It makes me wonder, do they care about their child's well being? Are they using their child to boost their own self esteem or something?
MikeyC
Well-known member
No, I'm male. I was making a joke.
Facebook for business/work purposes? So, there's this volunteer in my org who suggested creating FB groups for promotion and recruiting purposes. I kinda freaked out because I really don't like using FB. Even though I'm on FB, my account is inactive and I don't log in a lot. So, she wanted everyone in the org to create/join FB groups and work together to promote the org. Yikes! I don't know what to do! I mean, there are valid reasons why we should be using FB - mainly the large percentage of our target audience using FB. I can't come up with any reason NOT to use FB, but I try not to be biased.
So, I'm already satisfied living the single life. But then I started thinking about my future with a partner which made me cringe for several reasons. First and foremost, I value my privacy. Living with a partner means I have to give this up to a certain extent. For instance, I often go to bed with clips and sometimes tape on my face (for personal reasons), but when I share a bedroom with someone else, I know I'll have to get rid of these things or risk destroying the relationship? And that's not the only "bad" habit I have. I have other very personal habits that I prefer to keep private. Not even my parents know about some of them.
Also, living with someone else means I have to look neat, presentable, and maybe pretty when I'm around this person. Gone will be the days when I can walk around wearing hobo clothes without caring about who criticizes me. I wear dark a lot, which could be a turn off for some guys. Not to mention I have to control my bodily noises even more.
I also have family issues that I must share. My family's already abnormal enough.
So, I'm already freaking out just by considering the fact that I won't be single forever. I'm still young though, which means I have more time to reflect on what I want to do with my life. Freedom, privacy - all these things that will be mostly gone in a relationship - treasure them while I still can...
Also, living with someone else means I have to look neat, presentable, and maybe pretty when I'm around this person. Gone will be the days when I can walk around wearing hobo clothes without caring about who criticizes me. I wear dark a lot, which could be a turn off for some guys. Not to mention I have to control my bodily noises even more.
I also have family issues that I must share. My family's already abnormal enough.
So, I'm already freaking out just by considering the fact that I won't be single forever. I'm still young though, which means I have more time to reflect on what I want to do with my life. Freedom, privacy - all these things that will be mostly gone in a relationship - treasure them while I still can...
Steiner
Well-known member
Clips and tape on your face? I am just gonna guess to help with breathing? Like those breather strips people put on their nose. Not sure about other private habits you have but I don't hear anything that would necessarily turn someone away from you.
I like to wear hobo clothes too and no dark isn't a turn-off. Dark clothes makes everything look better. I look best in a black t-shirt I think.
The clips are for clipping hair away from my face, because my face's sensitive and vulnerable to acne. I've gotten pimples before just by having hair get into my face. The tape is for drooling prevention. When I sleep, I used to drool a lot but after using tape it stopped. I don't use tape a lot though recently, because I started feeling self conscious for whatever reason. I now use a stuffed pillow in its place. I don't do sleepovers with friends. God forbid they see me sleeping!
Yeah, I like wearing loose hobo clothes to lounge around the house. I don't care what color they are as long as they're comfortable. But of course, I will never wear them outside in public.
Steiner
Well-known member
Ah I see. I remember when I would have sleepovers years ago back in elementary. They would always be boring cause I would always be the last one awake/never went to sleep because I was scared of pissing the bed.
Hobo clothes are pretty comfortable. I tend to wear hobo clothes out in public though as well. Usually full of holes and falling apart but the only reason they got holes was because they are comfortable. :thumbup:
MikeyC
Well-known member
I agree, but you don't have to spend every waking moment with your boyfriend. You'll have things you like to do on your own, and he will, too. Spending all day, every day together is doomed for failure.
If doing that is going to "destroy" the relationship, and you're doing it for reasons that improve your health, then he has wildly high standards.
Wearing dark is great, and you don't have to look like a princess all the time. Are you sure he's going to be wearing a tuxedo every time he sees you, too?
A lot of people have some sort of family issues, so you're definitely not the only one, although I do admit your brother sounds like a piece of shit, no offence.
Taking all that into account, I think that you and him could compromise. He will have some excess baggage of his own, more than likely - nobody is prim, proper, and perfect - so he will think some of his problems/quirks will be enough to destroy a relationship. You just have to find the right guy who likes you for you, and not leave you because of some dark clothes and tape on your face when you sleep.
Also, men fart. So there's that.
Thanks for the comments Steiner!
@MikeyC: Thanks for the advice! I totally agree with you. Maybe one day I will meet someone who likes me for who I am, not that I'm actively looking or anything.
Maybe this is just me, but given the fact that I'm unemployed, kinda immature, and kinda broken in some way, I want to be friends first. I don't want to go straight into dating at this time. I'm probably in the minority because people don't date someone who they friendzoned. I'm seeing this from another perspective. I think friendships are a time to get to know each other better, and later on when the time is right and there's potential, blossom into something more. I see this a lot in the mangas that I read, where childhood friends become lovers - something I enjoy reading about.
@MikeyC: Thanks for the advice! I totally agree with you. Maybe one day I will meet someone who likes me for who I am, not that I'm actively looking or anything.
Maybe this is just me, but given the fact that I'm unemployed, kinda immature, and kinda broken in some way, I want to be friends first. I don't want to go straight into dating at this time. I'm probably in the minority because people don't date someone who they friendzoned. I'm seeing this from another perspective. I think friendships are a time to get to know each other better, and later on when the time is right and there's potential, blossom into something more. I see this a lot in the mangas that I read, where childhood friends become lovers - something I enjoy reading about.
Steiner
Well-known member
No problem. Of course.
Kawaii childhood friends. I had a childhood friend but of course that didn't end too well. If only life were like a manga. Then again I'd probably just be that boring background character while the main character bathes in glory of his main character superiority.
I'm the guy in the back I circled.
The guy in the front to the right looks like obvious main character quality.
Today I had another long-@ss boring typing chat session with my brother. It was literally a typing session. Nothing, aka no words, came out of our mouths. And, we weren't facing each other. We were just taking turns typing on the same computer, using the keyboard.
So during the typing session, my brother took the time to berate me, put me down for my troubles, and proceeded to blame everything on me. It's always my fault, no matter what, according to him. And, he told me to be more quiet and act more pleasant towards other people. He said I'm a social failure, basically. I'm sitting there the entire 20-30 minutes thinking, how ironic! My brother - who is extremely cynical, aggressive, socially anxious, aogpraphobic, paranoid, wouldn't even speak to me face to face but only type/write, and has all sorts of problems - is the one lecturing me, giving me advice that is supposed to be good for me? He's acting like he knows better than me when in fact he's suffering from the same problems, and many more!
Despite his doubtful credibility, I do think he has a point. Yes, I suck socially, for various reasons. My parents never really stressed social interaction as an important part of growing up. They tell me to focus on my studies, that's pretty much it. So, it should be no surprise I grew up as a social failure. But I did point out that I'm improving. Today, I went out and met some relatives, took the initiative to speak to them. It wasn't perfect, but it's a start. Gotta be positive!
So during the typing session, my brother took the time to berate me, put me down for my troubles, and proceeded to blame everything on me. It's always my fault, no matter what, according to him. And, he told me to be more quiet and act more pleasant towards other people. He said I'm a social failure, basically. I'm sitting there the entire 20-30 minutes thinking, how ironic! My brother - who is extremely cynical, aggressive, socially anxious, aogpraphobic, paranoid, wouldn't even speak to me face to face but only type/write, and has all sorts of problems - is the one lecturing me, giving me advice that is supposed to be good for me? He's acting like he knows better than me when in fact he's suffering from the same problems, and many more!
Despite his doubtful credibility, I do think he has a point. Yes, I suck socially, for various reasons. My parents never really stressed social interaction as an important part of growing up. They tell me to focus on my studies, that's pretty much it. So, it should be no surprise I grew up as a social failure. But I did point out that I'm improving. Today, I went out and met some relatives, took the initiative to speak to them. It wasn't perfect, but it's a start. Gotta be positive!
I'm serious when I say my IQ drop 10-60 points (maybe more) in public. So I was visiting my grandma today and met some relatives. We were talking about my dad's illness and my aunt suddenly asked me, "why not apply for disability?" I was taken aback by her question and didn't know what to say, so for a moment there, I was fumbling for words. I looked at my mom but she was silent. After liek several seconds of awkward, I finally said, "disability?" I know, dumb response! (slow too). So she and my uncle explained that since my dad's illness has been interfering with his work, he should apply for benefits.
Suddenly my aunt called me to her side asking about FB. She asked me about this stranger on FB who messaged her. She couldn't understand his messages at all, which were written in some foreign language. I was baffled as well. Then she asked me to type a message to the guy. I was freaking nervous for several reasons: 1) I don't really know how to use a smartphone, since I have never own one before, 2) Performance anxiety. At first, she looked at every single word that I typed, so I began typing fast. It was during this time that I felt my IQ points dropped, say 60 points or more. And, the message that I typed was really undiplomatic and kinda offensive. Seriously, my brain has turned to jello and I became a caveman.
After I helped my aunt with the message, an offensive thought suddenly crept into my head: "stupid". I think my aunt looked at me again before going back to her phone. For a moment, I felt ashamed that I could possibly think of my aunt as "stupid"? I just don't feel comfortable calling others stupid, dumb, retarded. Even the word "smart" implies a sense of superiority. I don't like using these words because they imply the sense that being dumb, smart, average, whatever is inherent in the person's genes, part of a person's fixed traits. I've been called stupid before and don't appreciate it.
Next we went to walmart and bought some makeup kit. I was comparing between 2 eyeshadow kits. My mind was thinking, "I gotta choose one or the other! Can't buy them both!" I liked them both, but forced myself to part with one. However, somewhere along the way, I thought, 'Why can't I have them both?" That's when I realize I was unconsciously being cheap! It's easy to blame my parents for raising me to be cheap. I remember they used to pamper my brother. My parents allowed my brother to buy expensive toys ($30 above), but they refused to let me buy toys that cost $5. This is another story of course, but the point is I was raised to be cheap and cater to my brother. But now that i'm an adult, I felt it's time for me tochange this mindset, long overdue alright! So in the end I bought both eyeshadow kits, no questions asked.
Suddenly my aunt called me to her side asking about FB. She asked me about this stranger on FB who messaged her. She couldn't understand his messages at all, which were written in some foreign language. I was baffled as well. Then she asked me to type a message to the guy. I was freaking nervous for several reasons: 1) I don't really know how to use a smartphone, since I have never own one before, 2) Performance anxiety. At first, she looked at every single word that I typed, so I began typing fast. It was during this time that I felt my IQ points dropped, say 60 points or more. And, the message that I typed was really undiplomatic and kinda offensive. Seriously, my brain has turned to jello and I became a caveman.
After I helped my aunt with the message, an offensive thought suddenly crept into my head: "stupid". I think my aunt looked at me again before going back to her phone. For a moment, I felt ashamed that I could possibly think of my aunt as "stupid"? I just don't feel comfortable calling others stupid, dumb, retarded. Even the word "smart" implies a sense of superiority. I don't like using these words because they imply the sense that being dumb, smart, average, whatever is inherent in the person's genes, part of a person's fixed traits. I've been called stupid before and don't appreciate it.
Next we went to walmart and bought some makeup kit. I was comparing between 2 eyeshadow kits. My mind was thinking, "I gotta choose one or the other! Can't buy them both!" I liked them both, but forced myself to part with one. However, somewhere along the way, I thought, 'Why can't I have them both?" That's when I realize I was unconsciously being cheap! It's easy to blame my parents for raising me to be cheap. I remember they used to pamper my brother. My parents allowed my brother to buy expensive toys ($30 above), but they refused to let me buy toys that cost $5. This is another story of course, but the point is I was raised to be cheap and cater to my brother. But now that i'm an adult, I felt it's time for me tochange this mindset, long overdue alright! So in the end I bought both eyeshadow kits, no questions asked.
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I'm sure you're not stupid. When we are nervous we tend to do stupid things but it doesn't really represent our own intelligence. And about the cheap thing... I can relate.
My parents believe that kids shouldn't be spoiled of material things so that they won't grow up as brats (like the sons/daughters of their colleagues). The thing is, they have overdone it...and so did I. They don't deprive us with basic things but they tend to make me feel guilty asking for simple pleasures in life. I also felt that they approved my sister more. You see, when we were kids my sister is not hesitant to ask for candies, small toys and stuffs. Being the elder one, I don't ask them to buy me things unless I really really like it. Now what I find unfair is that my mom always look at the price. She doesn't even realize that I rarely ask her to buy me things. And I'm not even asking for pricey stuffs. Like for example, my sister asks for something worth a dollar and then I ask for a worth 5 dollars. She wouldn't let me have it and so I'll start sulking then she'll get mad at me for that. Even when I grew up and got a job, I have kept this mindset. I deprive myself of buying small things that I can afford like maybe a drink of Coke (I brought my own water bottle,why crave for one?) a bracelet (ah...It's not a necessity, forget it)...
Only when I started to be really independent and get away from home did I eventually learn to more generous to myself. But I'm still the over thrifty person they know though,, I just learned to be less extreme. haha
My parents believe that kids shouldn't be spoiled of material things so that they won't grow up as brats (like the sons/daughters of their colleagues). The thing is, they have overdone it...and so did I. They don't deprive us with basic things but they tend to make me feel guilty asking for simple pleasures in life. I also felt that they approved my sister more. You see, when we were kids my sister is not hesitant to ask for candies, small toys and stuffs. Being the elder one, I don't ask them to buy me things unless I really really like it. Now what I find unfair is that my mom always look at the price. She doesn't even realize that I rarely ask her to buy me things. And I'm not even asking for pricey stuffs. Like for example, my sister asks for something worth a dollar and then I ask for a worth 5 dollars. She wouldn't let me have it and so I'll start sulking then she'll get mad at me for that. Even when I grew up and got a job, I have kept this mindset. I deprive myself of buying small things that I can afford like maybe a drink of Coke (I brought my own water bottle,why crave for one?) a bracelet (ah...It's not a necessity, forget it)...
Only when I started to be really independent and get away from home did I eventually learn to more generous to myself. But I'm still the over thrifty person they know though,, I just learned to be less extreme. haha
^Thanks! I don't think of myself as stupid anymore. I view myself as a student constantly learning as I go through life. I prefer it if people criticize me for my actions, such as "you wrote a splendid story" or "this piece of code is poorly written and needs more work". I don't need people to tell me I'm stupid because I did something wrong, because it would imply I'm stupid to begin with and will always be.
Nanita
Well-known member
Just thought I'd share:
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post...35-52594-don-t-be-the-last-candidate-standing
I learnt this the hard way. Not exactly at a job, but in college. I attended several different schools (colleges, trade schools) that weren't right for me. The experiences there have destroyed my self esteem for years alright, to say the slightest.
This is called 'settling' for a person. I learnt that the hard way. I used to be very obsessed with this classmate from high school, for 2 years. Afterwards, I recovered and told myself I don't need to settle, partly to protect myself from people who want to use me. Over the years, I've had people confess to me, people try to pair me up with some friend, etc, but I refuse to settle. I especially want to mention 2 guys from my high school whom people often paired me with. One is a friend, the other is a former crush. The pairing has been going on for years, with people speculating that I might choose one over the other, as in keep one drop one. But, little do people know that I have a 3rd option, which is to drop both.
I don't want to go about things recklessly. As I mentioned before, I would like to be friends with people before consider taking the relationship to the next level.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post...35-52594-don-t-be-the-last-candidate-standing
I learnt this the hard way. Not exactly at a job, but in college. I attended several different schools (colleges, trade schools) that weren't right for me. The experiences there have destroyed my self esteem for years alright, to say the slightest.
This is called 'settling' for a person. I learnt that the hard way. I used to be very obsessed with this classmate from high school, for 2 years. Afterwards, I recovered and told myself I don't need to settle, partly to protect myself from people who want to use me. Over the years, I've had people confess to me, people try to pair me up with some friend, etc, but I refuse to settle. I especially want to mention 2 guys from my high school whom people often paired me with. One is a friend, the other is a former crush. The pairing has been going on for years, with people speculating that I might choose one over the other, as in keep one drop one. But, little do people know that I have a 3rd option, which is to drop both.
I don't want to go about things recklessly. As I mentioned before, I would like to be friends with people before consider taking the relationship to the next level.
Performance anxiety is such a debilitating problem for me. Even when I'm alone, I can't help but feel super shy and awkward. So when I was working on my laptop, for several minutes there I feel self-conscious like crazy. It's paralyzing me, rendering me unable to do anything. OMG, it took me like 5 min or so to send a simple message to someone on linkedin.
Today, I'm also feeling a little sluggish. I am slow when it comes to speaking and doing things.
I feel like I am inhibiting the real me from expressing. I used to be like Switch Girl in her 'Off mode' especially at home, but now with this performance anxiety striking me almost everywhere I go, I feel pressured to be 'On' all the time! Yikes! I feel like breaking some rules here and there, let my inner child rage!
Today, I'm also feeling a little sluggish. I am slow when it comes to speaking and doing things.
I feel like I am inhibiting the real me from expressing. I used to be like Switch Girl in her 'Off mode' especially at home, but now with this performance anxiety striking me almost everywhere I go, I feel pressured to be 'On' all the time! Yikes! I feel like breaking some rules here and there, let my inner child rage!
The trouble with fitness gadgets | Ars Technica
I am aware that fitness gadgets and equipment are not the ultimate solution for weight loss. I used run and walk 2 miles a week. I would jog/run on my treadmill for 10 minutes, every Mon, Wed, and Fri. At first, I lost around 5 lbs, but then my weight loss plateaued. Then, I had to vary up my weight loss routine, as in try new things. I tried HIIT workouts, which helped me lose another 5-7 lbs, but then again, my weight loss plateaued. So, weight loss equipments work or don't work depending on how you use them.
It's the same thing for my mental workout. I use Lumosity to train my brain, but I can't help but wonder that it's just another tool/app/gadget that work only to a certain extent. I saw a lot progress in the beginning, but I think my progress is beginning to plateau, sort of like how my weight loss plateaued at a certain point. I guess that's when I need to try something new.
I am aware that fitness gadgets and equipment are not the ultimate solution for weight loss. I used run and walk 2 miles a week. I would jog/run on my treadmill for 10 minutes, every Mon, Wed, and Fri. At first, I lost around 5 lbs, but then my weight loss plateaued. Then, I had to vary up my weight loss routine, as in try new things. I tried HIIT workouts, which helped me lose another 5-7 lbs, but then again, my weight loss plateaued. So, weight loss equipments work or don't work depending on how you use them.
It's the same thing for my mental workout. I use Lumosity to train my brain, but I can't help but wonder that it's just another tool/app/gadget that work only to a certain extent. I saw a lot progress in the beginning, but I think my progress is beginning to plateau, sort of like how my weight loss plateaued at a certain point. I guess that's when I need to try something new.