Just another journal

[Odo]

He wants me to make me aknowledge that he's right, then come up with ways to punish me, like charging me $100 for coming into his room.

That's actually pretty funny... unless he actually forced you to give him the money.

I think brothers are supposed to be annoying... I annoyed the hell out of my sister for quite a while. She also annoyed me in her own little way.

I'm sure that he'll mellow out when he's older.

 

[jc972]

Gosh he makes my blood boil! My brother's a hoarder! He doesn't throw away "antiques" such as homeworks and tests from as far back as elementary! Now he's trashing the house with his gazillion textbooks that he bought (or rather wasted money on), and making me put them in my parents' bedroom! Oh, did I mention he lost his contact earlier, for the 5th or 6th time? I want to strangle him, beat some freakin common sense into him! :veryangry: But then I thought, "What am I? His mom? I'm not responsible for raising this kid, or for how he turned out to be. I'm just his sibling. Even if I criticize him, 99.999% of the time, he doesn't give two sh*ts." I'm just gonna let my parents handle this one, and stay out of his way.

Is avoiding him all together out of the question? From what you've said before it sounds as if he needs to seek help of some sort.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

After what happened yesterday, and also finding myself obsessing over the negative experience, I resolved to take a break today. I don't think I can handle another confrontation. My parents keep pestering me to attend someone's wedding, but I kept refusing because I knew the bride doesn't like me, as well as her sisters and other cousins. I can't do this 2 days in a row. If I hear someone calling me stupid again, I think I will just storm out of there in anger, maybe with some tears. Translation: wedding crashed. To avoid such conflicts, I decided to stay home for the day.

You're anything but stupid. As long as you know that. I think people with SA are mistaken for being stupid because we lack the proper social skills.

 

[jaim38]

Is avoiding him all together out of the question? From what you've said before it sounds as if he needs to seek help of some sort.

I try to avoid him but sometimes he calls me into his room or randomly seeks me for something. He needs help of course.

You're anything but stupid. As long as you know that. I think people with SA are mistaken for being stupid because we lack the proper social skills.

Thanks!

 

[theslowesthand]

Cars and trucks always seem to have something go wrong at the worst times, like getting a flat on the freeway. That actually is one of the biggest things that causes me anxiety while driving, is having my truck break down and everybody looking at me. On the drive through thing, I probably would have just driven off

My most embarrassing breakdown was when the dashboard started smoking, as i was waiting right at the front of the queue at a busy major city intersection . I had to turn the car off to stop the smoking (which i found later was the cigarette lighter shorting against metal dash). So that was very bad luck. HOWEVER it was also GOOD luck, as right behind me was a tow truck!:bigsmile:. So he was able to push my car thru the intersection, so then i steered car to side of road, out of everybody's way:thumbup:. Then i did a temporary fix, and continued on my journey.

 

[jc972]

I used to chat and text with this former male classmate, sometimes call him for help. We're not close, but we feel comfortable talking about a variety of topics. When I found out he's in a relationship, I deleted him from my chat list. I didn't contact him anymore. I don't want his girlfriend to get the wrong idea that he's cheating or whatever. Plus I'm not interested in him romantically.

So you can't be friends with a guy that's in a relationship? Everybody needs friends, even guys with girlfriends.

 

[jaim38]

When I feel scared and confused, the only thing that gives me comfort is thinking about God/Creator and praying.

 

[theslowesthand]

I ordered an adapter for my laptop a few weeks back - it worked at first but later didn't. The seller contacted me and offered to ship me a new replacement adapter. Today I received the new one and tried plugging it in. Nothing. I'm thinking there's a problem with my laptop's connector. I had to bend my old adapter in certain ways in order to make my laptop charge.

Here's the awkward part. I don't know if I should get a refund. The seller sent me 2 adapters after all. I paid around $11-$12 for it. If I ask for a refund, I'd need to ship back both adapters and make sure they're actually received by the seller. And, here comes my people pleasing side: I'm nervous that I will anger the seller. The seller was nice enough to reach out to me after all. I don't know what to do!

I was thinking of just keeping both adapters (for future use, maybe they'll magically work in the future) and just pretend that everything went well. I haven't rated the transaction on Amazon yet, and don't plan to.

Have you explained all this to seller? They might be able to suggest a fix.

By "adapter" do you mean the end bit of lead (plastic + with shiny metal pole) which plugs into laptops DC IN port? If so, it might be the inner wires are fractured.

 

[jaim38]

So, I was imagining myself as an executive of an organization. I visualized introducing myself to other people as the "executive director". I started laughing out loud, like are you kidding me? That's crazy! A kid like me running the organizatio!?! :sarcastic:

 

[coyote]

I'm stuck. Is there are better way to improve my communication skills besides joining Toastmasters?

want to speak in public? project a professional demeanor? command attention? exude confidence, poise, and bearing?

you could join this organization: US Marine Corps | Marine Recruiting | Marines.com

you will also learn to swear really well :thumbup:

 

[MikeyC]

The Iceberg: A Story by Zelda Fitzgerald : The New Yorker!

I read the story Iceberg by Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Some people might say this story is anachronistic because marrying a rich husband is not a woman's ultimate fruit of success, but I disagree. Despite the advances that the feminist movement brought about, some women still yearn for a rich husband (or sugar daddy or somebody rich to have an affair with). And, when you look outside the US and Europe, you see countries where women have little or no rights - in these places, women place great importance in marrying up, which could possibly be their only route out of poverty. The story of the Iceberg is still relevant in today's world.

At the same time, this story struck a nerve in me. I admit, it does make my heart flutter to read about a Cinderella marry into riches, must be instinct. But I feel horrible for deriving joy from such stories. The thing is, I don't want to be Cinderella, or Cornelia, or any similar incarnations. I don't want my whole life to revolve around who I marry, how rich I'll be, etc. Cinderella was one of my favorite Disney stories, but now I'm old enough to cut it loose.

Knowing that women still want a rich husband fills me with even more sorrow because that's now one more thing I can't provide.

It's unfair to label all women like this but it's still disheartening.

 

[jaim38]

Knowing that women still want a rich husband fills me with even more sorrow because that's now one more thing I can't provide.

It's unfair to label all women like this but it's still disheartening.

Yeah, as a woman I feel bad about myself for having such desires and tendencies. I've had it since I was little, even before the Disney movies, so it must be culture or instinct? Women tend to gravitate towards rich "successful" men because of their ability to provide them comfort, safety, security, etc. Whatever the case, I won't act on such desires.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

A club is no place to practice or improve your social skills. Therapy is. Or, why don't you try creating a meetup event for social anxiety-advertise on this site as well. Or, just find something that you're interested in and go to a meetup group. i.e cooking, kayaking, fitness, meditation etc....... Go to a few events. That will help.

 

[jaim38]

A club is no place to practice or improve your social skills. Therapy is. Or, why don't you try creating a meetup event for social anxiety-advertise on this site as well. Or, just find something that you're interested in and go to a meetup group. i.e cooking, kayaking, fitness, meditation etc....... Go to a few events. That will help.

Ok, maybe I was misguided. Honestly, going to a club kinda scares me. Meetup groups might be a good idea, as long as the group is small. I think my local libraries offer meetups for different events.

 

[jaim38]

I'm definitely NOT going to my high school reunion. In fact, I've been planning to skip out on it anyway. People feel pressure to "one up" each other during such reunions, which is unhealthy and does nothing to improve my mental state.

 

[jc972]

I'm definitely NOT going to my high school reunion. In fact, I've been planning to skip out on it anyway. People feel pressure to "one up" each other during such reunions, which is unhealthy and does nothing to improve my mental state.

I didn't go to my 10 year reunion. All the people I would like to see are either dead or in prison, unfortunately.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I'm definitely NOT going to my high school reunion. In fact, I've been planning to skip out on it anyway. People feel pressure to "one up" each other during such reunions, which is unhealthy and does nothing to improve my mental state.

Fortunately, you're under no obligation.

I went to my five-year reunion, and it wasn't as bad as I expected, just weird. The people who were cruel to me in high school were suddenly really nice, as if they were trying to show how grown up they were, but I wasn't fooled. I never saw so much phoniness in any one place outside of church. I haven't gone to one since. Haven't been invited to most of them.

For the twenty-fifth, a few years ago, one of the organizers called me and left a message. It creeped me out. How'd they even get my number? I never called back. I didn't much like him back then, so why would I want to talk to him now? That goes for the rest of them, too.

 

[jaim38]

I'm feeling depressive-suicidal today. But such feelings are soon clouded by my deep despair, once I realize the situation I'm in. I know the reason why of course. I feel like I'm back to square one.

Begin rant (highlight text to read, but warning - it's gonna be boring):


I am being haunted by spirits/demons. My dream is to get rid of these spirits, but I know they will always follow me because they said so, and I will never be rid of them until I die. But then, even after I die, they will try to find my spirit and follow it too, but I really hope not. I hope they leave me alone after death, period.

I went to the supermarket today with my mom, and that in itself already is a big step for someone agoraphobic like me. I'm still social phobic and really timid approaching people of course. I admit I am still far from being a loud, smiling person who expresses her mind easily, but I'm getting somewhere. At least that's what I thought. Keep in mind I also have PTSD which makes me extra self-conscious, scared, and hyper-aware.

I thought it would be another good day to improve, but the spirits had to ruin things for me. They thought I was being bad on purpose, so they punished me. They put me in situations I don't want to be in. I remember getting out of the supermarket feeling very angry, suicidal, depressed, and filled with hatred. I hated them, I hated them! I wanted them out of my life! Why must they follow me around, even to the bathroom? Who gave them the right to punish me, to be enactor of justice? Why must I explain things to them? They won't even show themselves to me, but spied on everything that I do!

I have never felt so much loss of hope because of anybody or anything else. These spirits have driven me to the extreme edge of despair. I've contemplated suicide. People associated with me have their lives tampered with by these spirits. Case in point is my family. Next could be my friends. If I have a bf/husband and children, you bet they'll be next. These spirits will spy on them, tamper with their lives, etc. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It won't be a life worth living.

Everywhere I go, I'm hated, despised, and bring bad luck to others. It's no coincidence these spirits are also there, when this happens. In short, I'm the black sheep and the jinx. Everyone I come into contact with, these spirits will check them out for sure. Why can't they just leave me and my family and friends alone?

It makes me shudder everytime I hear some love song on the radio, because I keep associating it with the spirits. Just today, I hear the song, "Don't go" and it made me shudder for a moment. I just don't love these spirits and have no intention of getting into romantic relationships with anybody. Why can't they get a clue and leave me alone?

They're probably laughing at me now. They're probably thinking, this stupid human. They don't care about my feelings, my dreams or whatever. They only care about their interests. I'm not important to them. After all, I'm just 1 freakin human out of billions, so I'm replaceable according to them. Once I'm gone, without any descendants, they go haunt someone else.

I know spirits are reading this, so I repeat, I did not mean to offend some people in the store. Gosh, why am I explaining thigns to them? If these spirits are gone from my life, I wouldn't have to explain anything to them. However, since they're still with me, I know I have to explain things to them. Because if I don't, they will assume I'm a bad person and will continue to harass/punish me until I somehow break down, cry, or bow down or do something that makes them happy.

Spirits and my brother, who's worse? I'm not even sure. They wear different masks but they feel the same.

Lumosity tests, tests of kindness, tests of bias, etc - life feels like 1 big test, even before the spirits getting involved. Last night I had this horrible dream. I think the spirits are testing me. They want to shock me into revealing my true colors? If so, I'm completely horrified. These spirits say they want to help me, but what they're doing is more like creating more conflict with other people. I am appaled at their behavior.


End rant

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

There are no spirits.

 

[Steiner]

I know when I go to crowded places like a Wal-Mart or something I hear demonic laughter surround me which echos through my head. I feel the people staring as if I am some sort of freak. Breaking into a cold sweat. My surroundings begin to feel unreal. etc.

I usually feel terrible/suicidal after I leave as well along with having to go anywhere with like my parents are something so I can relate somewhat.

I agree with cam on the fact that the spirits aren't real. Just as for me the laughter isn't real. I realize this. Though. It doesn't make it go away. Best of luck.