Journey of Jazz

[jc972]

Behind blue eyes. My fav. Limp bizkit re did it and its good but not like the who. Rock on

 

[S_Spartan]

Who are you? Who, who, who, who? I like The Who too . Especially Love Reign O'er Me, its one of my favorite songs.

That is a good song! My favorite Who album is "The Who By Numbers". It's probably their darkest and most personal album. It was a Pete Townshend "dark night of the soul" album as was his solo "Empty Glass" which is an absolute masterpiece.

You really seem to know a lot about classic rock, Jasmine. You have good taste! I would figured that most people your age would have no idea who these groups are.

 

[S_Spartan]

Behind blue eyes. My fav. Limp bizkit re did it and its good but not like the who. Rock on

Yes! I was listening to that one. Love it! Especially the fast part! Angry yet wounded. The whole "Who's Next" album is amazing.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Behind blue eyes. My fav. Limp bizkit re did it and its good but not like the who. Rock on

Yes! I was listening to that one. Love it! Especially the fast part! Angry yet wounded. The whole "Who's Next" album is amazing.

Behind blue eyes is a great song. I love how its slow in the beginning, then it breaks into the fast, very raw sounding section towards the end :thumbup:.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I was watching a scene in a movie earlier that involved a couple cuddling. I've always thought that cuddling would be nice, but I sometimes wonder if I would like it if I ever do it with a guy in reality. Something about the warmness that I think it would bring is very nice to imagine, but I wonder if I'd be nervous. Maybe in the moment I wouldn't be antsy about it :question:.

I think about experiencing things like that pretty often, more than sexual experiences actually. I think it'd be nice to just chill and watch television or a movie on the couch with someone one day. To be able to let my guard down and relax with a guy while he holds me close to him and strokes my hair. I wouldn't mind if there wasn't much talking, and if it were quiet between me and him with the only noise being the tv in the background. Its something that I've always wished I could experience, being with someone in that kind of way. Neither one of us feeling like we have to fill the silence, not feeling awkward about the quietness between us, and being able to have comfort in just feeling each other's presence. I think it'd be really nice.

I sort of wish I could meet a guy who wants to sing with me someday too . I'd love to belt out a bunch of random songs with someone. Maybe have a karaoke battle.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I don't know why I always do this, push my body to stay awake for so long. Its nearly 5 a.m. here. I seemed to be doing an alright job of going to bed early a while back, but now I'm slipping into my old habits of staying up again.

I feel pretty comfortable right now for the most part though. I'm still in my robe that I changed into after taking a shower earlier and I'm laying under my favorite blanket.

 

[springk]

I don't know why I always do this, push my body to stay awake for so long. Its nearly 5 a.m. here. I seemed to be doing an alright job of going to bed early a while back, but now I'm slipping into my old habits of staying up again.

I feel pretty comfortable right now for the most part though. I'm still in my robe that I changed into after taking a shower earlier and I'm laying under my favorite blanket.

Do you like staying awake so late:question:

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Do you like staying awake so late:question:

There are some things that I like about staying up late, but I know that its not so good for me. I know that its not very healthy.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Eels - I need some sleep (Original) - YouTube

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I'm watching City of Angels right now on television. Its one of my favorite movies, but its making me dive deeper into certain thoughts I've been trying to get away from. Its reminding me of what I want to feel one day, what I'm not sure I ever will feel. People tell me I'll get what I'm longing for someday, but I'm not so sure. My head is filled with doubt. My heart is aching for a lot of things, and its becoming hard to keep distracting myself.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Something happened earlier that is making me feel on edge. My dad came over to visit earlier and he's staying here for the night. He was walking around in the kitchen and he took a look outside of our kitchen window, and saw a black car parked in front of our house. Its very late here, almost midnight. He thought it was suspicious, so he went outside to check it out. At first he cut on our front porch light and stood on our porch to look at the car. He wanted to get a closer look so he came back inside, got our dog Spanky who is really protective, and went back outside to walk further down our front lawn and get a bit closer to the car so he could see inside of it. He said there were a lot of men just sitting in the car, and that when he came outside they seemed like they were trying to cover something up and act like they weren't up to anything. He said they seemed like they were acting like they had just been caught by my dad and that they were trying to leave before my dad could possibly confront them. Then a white truck drove up behind the black car they were sitting in, and some of the men got out of the black car and walked to the white truck while trying to hide their faces, and not acknowledging my dad. Once the men who left to go sit in the white truck were situated, both the car and truck drove off.

It seemed like more than some kind of a coincidence. I have this eerie feeling now, something in my gut is telling me something was not right with that situation. It just feels really off.

My mom had came back from her boyfriend's house a while before this happened, because they had a big fight. My mom said she's not sure if the car outside had anything to do with her and her boyfriend's fight, but she seemed worried and anxious and wouldn't tell me much details about their fight. Her boyfriend has acted impulsively in the past. One day my mom was not answering his calls or text messages he had sent her after they had gotten into a bad argument the day before, and he continued to call and text her for most of the day even after she answered one of his calls to tell him to stop. His text messages started to become rude and he called her a lot of names in them. Then he showed up at our house when it was really late, banging on our front door and acting really angry with my mom, yelling at her and asking why she was ignoring him while calling her a bitch. Her boyfriend doesn't really like my dad either. My mom says that he acts very jealous towards my dad because my mom and dad are still on decent terms, and because my dad often comes to visit the house. I think he feels a bit threatened by my dad. My dad was at our house the night her boyfriend came banging on our front door, and her boyfriend tried to pick a fight with my dad and told him to stay out of his and my mom's business. There's just always been things about her boyfriend that are really unsettling to me, scary even. I've never had the courage to tell my mom the feelings I get about him.

I don't know if I'll get much sleep at all. I feel paranoid, like someone's out there just sitting and observing, trying to come up with some kind of plan or something. Maybe its just in my mind.

 

[jc972]

I don't know what kind of area you live in but I'd guess it was either a drug deal or they were just doing stuff that they didn't wanna be caught doing i.e. painting each other's nails, listening to the Spice Girls greatest hits, or doing various embarrassing acts. I wouldn't get too worked up over it. Funny that a car load ran from one dude. I applaud your dad, by the way, one dude gonna confront a carload? That's some big cajones! I'd buy that man a beer. Your mom's boyfriend? She needs a new one. Period. End.

 

[MikeyC]

Your mom's boyfriend? She needs a new one. Period. End.

I was going to say the same thing. He sounds like an idiot.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I don't know what kind of area you live in but I'd guess it was either a drug deal or they were just doing stuff that they didn't wanna be caught doing i.e. painting each other's nails, listening to the Spice Girls greatest hits, or doing various embarrassing acts. I wouldn't get too worked up over it. Funny that a car load ran from one dude. I applaud your dad, by the way, one dude gonna confront a carload? That's some big cajones! I'd buy that man a beer. Your mom's boyfriend? She needs a new one. Period. End.

Maybe you're right, it seemed like something was off, but nothing has happened since then. I'm just up staying alert.

My dad's always been like that, ready to defend and protect us. I guess his instincts take over and he doesn't really fear if something might happen to him as long as we're safe.

My mom is crazy in love with her boyfriend, so maybe it causes her to not realize, or to look over, the warning signs.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I was going to say the same thing. He sounds like an idiot.

He can definitely be obnoxious. My sister said she gets the same negative feelings about him.

 

[jc972]

Maybe you're right, it seemed like something was off, but nothing has happened since then. I'm just up staying alert.

My dad's always been like that, ready to defend and protect us. I guess his instincts take over and he doesn't really fear if something might happen to him as long as we're safe.

My mom is crazy in love with her boyfriend, so maybe it causes her to not realize, or to look over, the warning signs.

Warning signs? Big red flag more like! He sounds like a duchebag. A father's job is to defend and protect his loved ones no matter what and it sounds like yours knows that :thumbup:

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Warning signs? Big red flag more like! He sounds like a duchebag. A father's job is to defend and protect his loved ones no matter what and it sounds like yours knows that :thumbup:

Yeah, my dad is great. I'm glad that he still comes to visit a lot. My mom and boyfriend have always been very on and off. They have a lot of bad fights, and he says and does a lot of things that hurt her, but my mom still ends up going back to him.

 

[jc972]

Yeah, my dad is great. I'm glad that he still comes to visit a lot. My mom and boyfriend have always been very on and off. They have a lot of bad fights, and he says and does a lot of things that hurt her, but my mom still ends up going back to him.

I just want you to learn by her example of what not to do as far as that goes. I hate to see a woman taking shit off some dude. Maybe he means well but just has a bad temper? I don't know and don't wanna judge but I seen one of my mom's boyfriends start out like that back in the day, before a year was over she was wearing a black eye more often than not.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I just want you to learn by her example of what not to do as far as that goes. I hate to see a woman taking shit off some dude. Maybe he means well but just has a bad temper? I don't know and don't wanna judge but I seen one of my mom's boyfriends start out like that back in the day, before a year was over she was wearing a black eye more often than not.

I hate when some women do that too. Why go back to someone who is mostly always rude to you, usually treats you like crap, and emotionally hurts you? He does have a bad temper, which could possibly lead to something more dangerous down the road, hopefully not. I'm sorry that your mom went through that.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Nothing else suspicious has happened since yesterday night. That's a relief. I was extremely paranoid last night. We've just been keeping an eye out.

City of Angels is coming on again later, but I'm not sure if I'll watch it. I love it, but it tends to make me feel sad, like it did yesterday when I watched it.