I've really f**ked up...

catrin87

Member
I am really hating on myself today. I recently missed an assessment at Uni because I chickened out of doing a presentation (even though it was only to 2 of my tutors) and after having a meeting with my tutor and explaining my situation she gave me a second chance to do it and said that it doesn't need to be a formal presentation and that I shouldn't worry about it too much etc etc, so that was good and it meant I didn't have to fail the module so I was pleased that i had been given a second chance. But then what do I do? I miss that one too. I am now really angry and upset at myself and I don't know what to do. I feel absolutely useless in every way. Why am I like this? I avoid absolutely everything, all the time. I don't know what to do and I just feel like packing a bag and running away :(
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Hah... I've been there so many times. Learn from your mistakes: Next time, remember how you felt after not avoiding your meeting with your counselor, and how you felt after avoiding your presentation.Now I guess you have 3 choices, you either accept that you are failing this class, it's not the end of the world. You can also write an e-mail to your counselor saying something like "I'm sorry, I chickened out again. I don't expect you to say yes, but I would be very grateful to have one last chance to do the presentation". Or you can run away, which will not solve anything.
 

laure15

Well-known member
Explain what happened, why you skipped the presentation, and ask for another chance. If you are lucky enough to be given a third chance, tell yourself that you're lucky you're presenting in front of only 2 people, not 20. I didn't even get this type of priviledge when I was in school so my presentations were done in front of the whole class.
 

Plan9

Active member
I found stuff like that at uni hard too, I doubt your the only one. However I managed to get through it (after an extra year) so I bet you can too :)

I think they will understand, a lot of people find uni tough.

I get frustraited about myself sabotaging stuff like that. I didn't go to an interview last week because I had to do a presentation, but had done one for an interview to weeks earlier, strange. Any way I feel bad at myself about that right now so your not the only one.

Basicly I just reated to what you said.
 

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
I am really hating on myself today. I recently missed an assessment at Uni because I chickened out of doing a presentation (even though it was only to 2 of my tutors) and after having a meeting with my tutor and explaining my situation she gave me a second chance to do it and said that it doesn't need to be a formal presentation and that I shouldn't worry about it too much etc etc, so that was good and it meant I didn't have to fail the module so I was pleased that i had been given a second chance. But then what do I do? I miss that one too. I am now really angry and upset at myself and I don't know what to do. I feel absolutely useless in every way. Why am I like this? I avoid absolutely everything, all the time. I don't know what to do and I just feel like packing a bag and running away :(

I can absolutely relate!! I had the highest grade in a class years ago until it came time for me to do a presentation. I did the written work and pushed it under the professor's office door, but never went back to class (out of fear that the first day I went back I'd have to do the presentation) and ended up failing. Unfortunately, in the moment, it is really hard to handle pressures like this sometimes. Currently, I am avoiding studying for a class, reading for another, and doing a bibliography for a third, mostly out of lack of time, but I know I'll regret it if I don't get these done in time (at least there's no speaking involved).
I always hate myself after avoiding something that wouldn't be such a big deal to somebody without SA, but is practically impossible when you're consumed by anxiety and fear. However, after facing a situation like this, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment. If I were in your situation (I've been in similar situations numerous times), I'd want to avoid the feeling of regret. If it is possible to make up for what you've missed, do so. If not, find a way to move on (find out all options first--I had two teachers suggest to me to drop classes because I had missed so much, and I appreciated their honesty, but the same semester, had two willing to work with me to continue). The next time you encounter this, if you're able to, discuss beforehand any difficulty you may have (I often worry if I say something about my anxiety after missing something, it will just sound like an excuse). Maybe you can work out a plan to make it easier for yourself. I also like to reward myself for facing difficult situations. If you have something to look forward to afterward, maybe it willl feel less daunting. And, definitely recognize any progress you make. Baby steps can go a long way over time. :)
Best of luck!
 

hardy

Well-known member
hey...if it is of any consolation..i f** up on a daily basis. i was watching 'scent of a woman' yesterday where al pacino the blind retired colonel wants to blow his brains up as he sees no hope whatsoever. but luckily he gets a real friend who says, ' life's like tango'. You fall down, u get up again. it's not easy...but better than dying...doing small things at this stage is important.

don't have high hopes when there is so much pain you r dealing with....i think we are doing the best in the circumstances....if u can't do the presentation, don't do it. there is much more to life than doing some presentation. you won't be taking the money, fame to your coffin....it's the good moments that are more important. give priority to whats most important in your life right now. For me it's my mind...i want to develop a mind that is strong and good-willed. Other things are not so important.
 

catrin87

Member
Thanks guys. I have just given myself so much grief over this presentation already - when I saw it on our timetable 4 or 5 months ago I actually considered quitting uni so I wouldn't have to do it! Sometimes I astound even myself with how ridiculous I can be!
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
Presentations suck! Don't give up though, because then you might be forced to work a min wage job for the most part :( at least a degree will give you options.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I'm sure and hope they try to understand your situation and what you're going through and give you another chance. If they are understanding then hopefully they will but speaking from experience, some Uni tutors aren't that sympathetic with personal issues because the demands are so high to be fair to everyone.

If you get another chance, build your confidence up by working hard to prepare on the actual details of your presentation. I tended to find that I worked better in presentations (I did some in front of the class with group members) and I felt more confident once I knew I'd done all the research and it was a case of just doing it. You're on your own but to two of your tutors so it'll be fine. Trust your work and that will help you get through it.
 
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