It will never "get better", will it?

MariahCarey

MariahCarey

Well-known member
Theres always this thing at the back of my mind that my SA will "get better".

And i'll see a brighter day, all i have to do is be strong and patient.

But the fact of the matter is....when i think about how long, i've been like this (8 years and counting) I'm losing hope.

It's not going to disappear, whether i like it or not.

I just have to accept that Social anxiety is always going to be a part of me and come to terms with that.

Once it got a hold on me, it's been a mother.... to shake off ever since.

So my only alternative is to push on with life and try to get on with it the best way i can, even if i'm hurting. It may not be the ideal way or the perfect way, but it's the best i can do in my current state.

I just have to take each day as it comes and try to cope with this hard struggle. This may be negative, but it's the truth. I'm so sick of things being sugar coated.

Do you feel this way too? Do you accept your social anxiety and accept it will always be a part of you?
 
philly2bits

philly2bits

Well-known member
To be honest, I don't really want it to "disappear." I feel that if it were gone completely, then I would be a different person altogether. I would rather stay myself then turn into someone else.

I don't accept that it has to be an obstruction to my life though. It may put up walls to my goals, but I'm fine with that so long as I can find a way around those walls. It does get overwhelming and frustrating at times and I wish it would just go away, but like you said the best we can do is push on even if we are hurting.
 
Jim_Bergerac

Jim_Bergerac

1
Interesting topic MariahCarey.

I work on my SA so much in my free time, trying to change the way I think, believe and see things. I have done therapy, hypnotherapy, read books and now I work on it by myself and to be honest I am not shifting it at all. I have been working on trying to overcome this for about 4 years now. I have improved a lot from my lowest point but I actually put that down to making the absolute most of myself rather than managing to change my beliefs.

I want to overcome it so badly, its my only goal and dream right now in life. I don't want to give up and I won't give up but I am starting to have doubts now that I may not overcome it. That terrifies me.

Do I believe I can overcome my SA? I think its possible, I mean I was super confident up until my teenage years when I was bullied, put down all the time, called names, etc. If it is possible for me to go from being so confident to being like I was with no confidence or self esteem with certain negative treatment, then it is surely possible to do the reverse with the right method/approach. I just cannot find that method/approach though.
 
Predacon

Predacon

Well-known member
I believe it's possible to control it, but I don't think a person could get rid of it entirely.
 
E

Emily_G

Well-known member
Everyday I try to accept more and more that my stuttering will never go away. I know for a fact that it will not, it is something in my brain and there's no treatment for it. What I have to do now...which is the hard part...is cope and love myself regardless of my disability.
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
I pretty much feel the same way you feel. I've been this way my whole life & I highly doubt it's ever going to leave. But I do think it can lessen, which is what I'm hoping for.
 
Bullied Anonymous

Bullied Anonymous

Well-known member
MariahCarey said:
Theres always this thing at the back of my mind that my SA will "get better".

And i'll see a brighter day, all i have to do is be strong and patient...

It's not going to disappear, whether i like it or not.

I just have to accept that Social anxiety is always going to be a part of me and come to terms with that.

Once it got a hold on me, it's been a mother.... to shake off ever since.

So my only alternative is to push on with life and try to get on with it the best way i can, even if i'm hurting. It may not be the ideal way or the perfect way, but it's the best i can do in my current state.

I just have to take each day as it comes and try to cope with this hard struggle. This may be negative, but it's the truth. I'm so sick of things being sugar coated.

Do you feel this way too? Do you accept your social anxiety and accept it will always be a part of you?
Click to expand...

I've just recently found out about my social anxiety. Its like it was only there a little bit and out of nowhere it became this big issue to where I just hate being in a small crowd of people I don't know. When I found this site I was already dealing with a lot of different issues at one time ,but I met some pretty nice people who understand exactly what I'm going through. I'm scared of the future and my increasing anxiety. My hands and feet shake when I'm nervous ,now. But I stay hopeful and you should too ,because here you're not alone. ;)
 
yohannes

yohannes

Well-known member
I wish I could tell you it will get better but I don't know. What can I tell you is that acceptance goes long way. When acceptancing I mean that yeah you have Social Phobia and you get anxious around people. The anxiety might seem terrible and frighting, but even with your anxiety your still be able to do what you want to do. You might feel the anxiety is to much and you can't handle it but you can. Avoidance is the number one reason that enforces phobia.

Relize that the rain doesn't choose which person it will land on it lands on everyone. We can't dwell on the "why me" and try to find out the reason we will never find it. I tried there is no answer. Bad things happen to good and bad people. What we need to do is keep going and try to do what we want without worring to much about our SA. SA bark is louder than its bit.


In this world pain is guarantee but suffering is optional.
 
Noca

Noca

Banned
MariahCarey said:
Theres always this thing at the back of my mind that my SA will "get better".

And i'll see a brighter day, all i have to do is be strong and patient.

But the fact of the matter is....when i think about how long, i've been like this (8 years and counting) I'm losing hope.

It's not going to disappear, whether i like it or not.

I just have to accept that Social anxiety is always going to be a part of me and come to terms with that.

Once it got a hold on me, it's been a mother.... to shake off ever since.

So my only alternative is to push on with life and try to get on with it the best way i can, even if i'm hurting. It may not be the ideal way or the perfect way, but it's the best i can do in my current state.

I just have to take each day as it comes and try to cope with this hard struggle. This may be negative, but it's the truth. I'm so sick of things being sugar coated.

Do you feel this way too? Do you accept your social anxiety and accept it will always be a part of you?
Click to expand...
More of the same will only result in more of the same. Have you sought out treatment like CBT therapy or meds?
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
No, in all honesty I don't think that SA will ever go away for anyone who has it. That's not to say that you can't get help with it but I think once you've experienced something it's with you, even if it's just in the back of your mind. I don't believe that people can "cure" SA but I do believe that if you want it enough you can acquire the tools to help manage it, enough to where you can go on and have a presumably normal life. I feel happy for those that have found ways to get over the obstacle of it but I'm sure they deal with struggles just like we do, they've just found a better way to handle it. I think there's a way to attain that for yourself and I'm not saying you don't want to change it, obviously we all do. I've not met someone who voluntarily embraces this feeling but if you have any doubt in yourself or if you allow a thought of defeat in your mind it's only going to make it harder.

I see it like someone who's managing a diet, it feels impossible that you'll ever lose the "weight" but others can do it and so can you. You slip and you feel awful, allowing yourself to fall back into a negative mind set but it's what you do when that happens that will determine if you truly want this. You either get up and go at it again, make the effort or you go in and half as* it.
 
ShyCanuck

ShyCanuck

Active member
I think a cure could be possible, but probably not for a long long time. So yeah we're probably stuck with it for life.
 
G

gettingbetter

1
I feel like a lost cause most of the time. Its like i need some support to get me going, and i just feel like i'm being pushed "into the deep end" all the time. Its too much hassle.
 
B

bony666

Well-known member
MariahCarey said:
Theres always this thing at the back of my mind that my SA will "get better".

And i'll see a brighter day, all i have to do is be strong and patient.

But the fact of the matter is....when i think about how long, i've been like this (8 years and counting) I'm losing hope.

It's not going to disappear, whether i like it or not.

I just have to accept that Social anxiety is always going to be a part of me and come to terms with that.

Once it got a hold on me, it's been a mother.... to shake off ever since.

So my only alternative is to push on with life and try to get on with it the best way i can, even if i'm hurting. It may not be the ideal way or the perfect way, but it's the best i can do in my current state.

I just have to take each day as it comes and try to cope with this hard struggle. This may be negative, but it's the truth. I'm so sick of things being sugar coated.

Do you feel this way too? Do you accept your social anxiety and accept it will always be a part of you?
Click to expand...

Wow, it's like you've summed up all what I feel about my SP ! yes, I also accept it as part of me, because I think I have waited enough and it didn't go despite therapy and medication. I am just trying to be as strong and think about all the people who are suffering more than me around the world: What make me the most happy is to relief those people. The truth is that if I cannot relive my own pain, I would be so happy if I could relive other's pain.
 
Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I've found as I got older I got better at dealing with SA, or basically just stopped being so concerned about how I was percieved, by my 30's I had reduced it alot, maybe this is why we have most users here in there teens and early twenties, I'd say thats when the condition peaks.
 
J

jbeenthere

Well-known member
If I could ask a question - how many people have you told about your SA. I was so mortally scared to tell anyone about my crazy thoughts when I was in high school. I was sure that I was the only person in the world who had this happen and that I was really a horrible mutant trapped in some nightmare. it is only now that I am approaching middle age that I can see that everyone faces something in their lifetime. I think that keeping it a secret makes it so much harder to control the anxiety when around people. But I still let the stigma of mental illness get the best of me sometimes.
 
C

chained

1
Remus said:
I've found as I got older I got better at dealing with SA, or basically just stopped being so concerned about how I was percieved, by my 30's I had reduced it alot, maybe this is why we have most users here in there teens and early twenties, I'd say thats when the condition peaks.
Click to expand...

I'm glad u have said this.. because my doctor told me that most of these troubles go away through maturing :)
 
J

JamieD

Well-known member
I had a brief confidence boost today, but whenever that happens, my family notice and make of fun of it. So back to square one.
 
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