Something-Vague
Well-known member
Hey everyone. I generally don’t know what to say or don’t say much of anything in most sites with forums, but I am hoping to find some encouragement in talking to other individuals in here that are also dealing with social phobia, as well as provide any insight and support that I can of my own. I am a 20 year old female who adores music of many genres and who is currently attempting to rekindle her old love of reading. (At least, I am trying to do so as much as I can while taking college courses. Currently Reading: “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov)
I feel like perhaps it's appropriate to discuss some of the problems that I encounter as I am sure that all of you can relate; I hope that none of this comes off as "woe is me," but I really feel that it would be helpful to get all of this off of my chest.
I often don’t leave my house for days, not even to go for a walk because I am afraid of people seeing me and judging me. I haven’t ever had a job because I am too afraid of what a boss might say to me or what the potential customers' judgments are. I avoid stores and social outings more often than not, often making an excuse such as “I have homework”, even if it’s just with my family. If I do go in stores, I feel like hell and hope to get out of there as quickly as possible. I try not to go to the same store too often because I am afraid that they will remember me and wonder why I go there all the time. I am on various social networks, but I rarely dare say the first word to anyone because I am so afraid that I will say something wrong or they will think I am stupid or I will just mess up somehow. However, if someone takes the initiative to talk to me online, I will message them back, and if I find a connection, it doesn't take too long for me to get comfortable especially because all of my friends, excluding one, are from the internet. Sometimes I don’t express my opinions because I am afraid that they will be too uninformed or that someone will attack me and judge me for my views, even though I know that I would love the idea of debating on an intellectual level because I love learning. As far as picking up the phone to call my academic advisor, whom I've known for over a year, or a stranger… I'm currently having difficulties with this as well. I take online classes currently, so the majority of my public interaction I have is when I go to see my therapist or muster the courage for a movie or a concert (rarely). I know the history behind why I am the way I am, but I am pretty sure this post is long enough the way it is. I was making a pretty nice amount of progress in regards to these issues, but ever since an incident that happened a while ago, I've plummeted downhill.
(Sorry for rambling on.)
I am currently in therapy- I see my therapist every other week. I am hoping not to be judged here and that it will be a safe-haven as much as it can be. I am here if anyone ever needs to chat as well!
By the way, I also apologize for not telling you my name, but for now, I feel like "Something-Vague" suits me. (Kudos to you if you understand the reference.)
I feel like perhaps it's appropriate to discuss some of the problems that I encounter as I am sure that all of you can relate; I hope that none of this comes off as "woe is me," but I really feel that it would be helpful to get all of this off of my chest.
I often don’t leave my house for days, not even to go for a walk because I am afraid of people seeing me and judging me. I haven’t ever had a job because I am too afraid of what a boss might say to me or what the potential customers' judgments are. I avoid stores and social outings more often than not, often making an excuse such as “I have homework”, even if it’s just with my family. If I do go in stores, I feel like hell and hope to get out of there as quickly as possible. I try not to go to the same store too often because I am afraid that they will remember me and wonder why I go there all the time. I am on various social networks, but I rarely dare say the first word to anyone because I am so afraid that I will say something wrong or they will think I am stupid or I will just mess up somehow. However, if someone takes the initiative to talk to me online, I will message them back, and if I find a connection, it doesn't take too long for me to get comfortable especially because all of my friends, excluding one, are from the internet. Sometimes I don’t express my opinions because I am afraid that they will be too uninformed or that someone will attack me and judge me for my views, even though I know that I would love the idea of debating on an intellectual level because I love learning. As far as picking up the phone to call my academic advisor, whom I've known for over a year, or a stranger… I'm currently having difficulties with this as well. I take online classes currently, so the majority of my public interaction I have is when I go to see my therapist or muster the courage for a movie or a concert (rarely). I know the history behind why I am the way I am, but I am pretty sure this post is long enough the way it is. I was making a pretty nice amount of progress in regards to these issues, but ever since an incident that happened a while ago, I've plummeted downhill.
(Sorry for rambling on.)
I am currently in therapy- I see my therapist every other week. I am hoping not to be judged here and that it will be a safe-haven as much as it can be. I am here if anyone ever needs to chat as well!
By the way, I also apologize for not telling you my name, but for now, I feel like "Something-Vague" suits me. (Kudos to you if you understand the reference.)
