Intimidated by other men

[Hero]

Hey guys- does anyone know how to socialize with other guys?

I get along with dorky, un-threatening guys (probably like me) and I can talk to women okay, but I find men very hard to talk to. Women are more emphatic and sensitive, whilst guys tend to be boisterous and I tend to be a target due to my effeminate nature.

First off, I don't like football.

Secondly, I've always found men to pick on me, and they act aggressive, particular when it involves alcohol or around women. They de-evolve and attempt to be this alpha male. I find eventually they start targeting me for cruel jokes.

I have no idea what to do. Is this just me?

 

[Witty_Name0_0]

I don't claim to know much due to my lack of life experience but i think it's just a silly cultural thing that needs to be conditioned out of people. The stereotypical macho personality.

 

[jc972]

Hey guys- does anyone know how to socialize with other guys?

I get along with dorky, un-threatening guys (probably like me) and I can talk to women okay, but I find men very hard to talk to. Women are more emphatic and sensitive, whilst guys tend to be boisterous and I tend to be a target due to my effeminate nature.

First off, I don't like football.

Secondly, I've always found men to pick on me, and they act aggressive, particular when it involves alcohol or around women. They de-evolve and attempt to be this alpha male. I find eventually they start targeting me for cruel jokes.

I have no idea what to do. Is this just me?

Not all men fit into this stereotype. I know several men who don't get into none of that stuff and i consider them no less of men because of it. Showing off for women and fake aggression mean douchebag to me. It proves nothing. Some of the most quiet, humble men are the most manly in my opinion. They don't have to prove themselves. I like some sports, beer is awesome, and i wear a baseball cap daily but i consider a polite, shy, martini drinker to be just as much of a man as i am.

 

[Angkorwat]

I would rather be my low-confidence, socially awkward self than be an aggressive egotistical douchebag whose only goal in life is to hit on women. You're different than them and they do not like what they do not understand. You don't have to figure out how to talk to those kind of guys because that will only end with you being fake with yourself. You are good as you already are.

 

[WalkAlone]

You need to learn how to slug these *******s in the jaw. That is really the only way to get respect. What you describe, most guys do. The only real friends are the ones who don't backstab you over girls, money, or other things.

 

[Sea Bass]

I'm sorry you met guys that are rude to you just because of the way you behave around others. I mean, it's one thing to treat someone mean and nasty if they are behaving in a mean and nasty way too (karma), but to do it just because they have a macho sense of self and need to intimidate to maintain their egos intact is another. I think what you need to do is find real men to hang out with. Real men don't do all that douchebaggary cr*p that you have had to put up with and accept others for their differences and idiosyncrasies. Those guys that were mean to you need to learn to be more tolerant of other peoples' ways of being. Just because someone doesn't act the way you do, doesn't mean that they are less than you and should be derided. And remember that just because you have been treated cruelly by others it does mean that you are any less of a person.

 

[swallowtail]

I've always been in your exact situation. I think it's a mix of my personality and growing up without a father or father figure. Yeah, those things may have had an impact on my personality in a few bad ways (dxed personality disorders) but I prefer myself to guys like that. I've had to grow up/lived with guys like that and it sucks.

There are others like "us" out there, and it just took me awhile to find good guy friends. Or guys who were mature enough to act like that around other guys like that but be able to instinctively realize that I don't want anything to do with it and talk about/do things that I'm into when they're around me. Other than that, I've just always had best girl friends.

Hope all that made sense...I just woke up.

 

[Lavinialuna]

I know I posted this before, but I find it hilarious:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpjYGjSeLoE
But on a serious note (I'm obviously not a man but) as a woman I prefer men who are in touch with their emotions, who aren't too macho. It's a huge turn off. I chose my husband for his brain, and I prefer he spend his time fawning over me rather than spending all his time hunting, fishing, or watching football. He is very much a man, you don't need any of those "manly" things to be a man.
I hope you find peace with who you are. I really don't think there is a single person out there who is satisfied with themselves, but we all have a purpose, and it takes all kinds to make the world go round.

 

[Kiwong]

I don't like football either, well I did once, but the team I followed was crap, haven't won anything in 40 years.

I find most people intimidating.

 

[MikeyC]

Hero, I think these men pick on you because you come across as an easy target.

Please do NOT be like me and allow people to take advantage of your good nature and have these men walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. If someone is teasing you or acting in a domineering manner that makes you uncomfortable, speak up! Don't let it continue because it'll never stop.

 

[TreeBones]

This reminds me of middle school when I use to be more... not mean, but, I guess rough around the edges. People respected me and didn't treat me as if they were better than me, they liked me more treating them worse than I do now, which I still can't understand, seriously it boggles my mind. My advice though would be not to change yourself, but the way you carry yourself and try not to appear obvious that you care what they think.(because you really shouldn't) especially if you have good friends,..even if they are dorky haha. Besides jc972 is right, not all men fit the stereyotype. I personally don't believe in male or female but you don't have to like football to be manly and get along with the same sex.

 

[R3K]

it's all about the competition. men gotta beef with each other to get the best opportunity at the girls. I know there's other ways to get girls, but face it, fortune favors the bold when it comes to girl-chasin. if you're not a part of some clique of guy buddies who've been hangin with each other since they were in diapers, then you're prob gonna get pushed around by them until you find a way to assert yourself. meanwhile the bullies and badguys get all the girls and we just get to watch and cry ourselves to sleep :crying: