I don't know how it is in other countries, but in America, if you're very quiet and not extroverted and talkative, you're an outcast. You're made fun of and insulted at school as a kid by both kids and school staff. You're made fun of and insulted at work as an adult by your boss and co-workers. Your own family may even make fun of you, insult you, and eventually cast you off, as mine did. You're made to feel like a loser. No wonder we American S.A. sufferers become so isolated and don't like people very much after experiencing this treatment all of our lives (I'm 31 years old).
In America, if you're not extroverted and talkative, you're an outcast
- Thread starter meco1999
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cowboyup
Well-known member
Yes, you pretty much nailed it. I too, live in the US and for me everyday is a struggle of one sort or another OR a baby step at a time. I try to avoid crowds of people and hang out with relatives. I remember one time I was just starting a class in gymnastics and I was this timid, shy, skinny girl who had to be coaxed to do anything...very shy...well, the girls who were our 'teachers' were teenagers in all their glory.. They pushed and pushed me around and around the uneven bars (never went back, by the way) made fun of me, it was bad. I was called names in school, I blush easily too, so that made it worse if the teacher called on you in class. I now live in a 'touristy' town in the western U.S. and I avoid people like the plague because I simply get so infuriated, shaky, nervous, it's just bad... However, funny and weird as this may sound, I CAN go to say, a comedy club (going to see Ron White tonight w/brother so I have 'support') but it is dark - lol
Restaurants, I have difficulty with - I get choked up eating in public and fearful of others 'watching me' eat. Silly stuff, but to S.A. sufferers, it is terrifying.
Luckily, most of my immediate family members know about my SA but then again, one is a counselor and the other a police officer so I think that may help somewhat - but other people like my grandmother, she doesn't understand. She nit picks at me about it and can't understand how someone "so young" (I'm 42) feels this way....
all in all, I agree with you, it is an isolating life and a lot due to others who coax us into hiding
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
Yeah one person at work was comparing his two kids; one which was talketive and the other one is more shy and quiet. He was saying how his quiet kid puts people to sleep and stuff and how the other one was better since he was more funny and it really pissed me off.
Evolution
New member
the person at work that you met is right i think sometimes we are so annoying when we are shy and cant give nothing to other people thats why they get nervous with us.i see my self sometimes whrn im in a bad mood im shy and i stay without talking and i hate my self when im like this but when im ok i talk and the other like me this is life guys we have to accept it, sometimes we are really ....
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I've always though that introverts must stand out more in the US, as people there tend to be more outgoing than in places where people tend to be more reserved, like the UK. (Obviously that's quite a generalisation, but it's difficult not to talk in general terms when you're talking about over 300 million people. 
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this_portrait
Well-known member
I agree. I think where you live in the country can make a difference, though. Some cities and neighborhoods are just louder than others. I work in downtown Chicago, which is naturally crowded and loud, and then I go home to a neighborhood that is just about as bad. One of these days I'd like to move to a more fitting neighborhood for my personality.
da_illest101
Well-known member
In America... wait I mean in Canada, at least from personal experience same story
Hellhound
Super Moderator
I've always wondered why some people have kids if they're going to hate them. They don't deserve to be able to breed.
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
I can see how your coworker might prefer the more outgoing nature of one child to the more reserved nature of the other, but to say that being talkative makes that child "better" than the other one demonstrates a pretty appalling attitude for a parent to have. Let's hope he keeps that opinion to himself when he's at home with the kids.
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I'm always queasy about sweeping generalities. I can't say I've ever felt like an outcast - though I'm naturally reclusive, so it's entirely likely I wouldn't even notice any outcast... ing? I've certainly never been insulted for being quiet.
Maybe I'm just lucky and the local area is nicer than most. I am curious if it's possible that past horrible experiences or personal sensitivity can color one's perception and make the world seem worse than it is. I don't mean to trivialize anybody's experiences, of course, and I'm not even entirely sure what I'm trying to get at.
Maybe I'm just lucky and the local area is nicer than most. I am curious if it's possible that past horrible experiences or personal sensitivity can color one's perception and make the world seem worse than it is. I don't mean to trivialize anybody's experiences, of course, and I'm not even entirely sure what I'm trying to get at.
coyote
Well-known member
I know what you mean - people where I live are pretty open and accepting of all sorts of folks who don't conform to the social norm portrayed on television. We're mostly pretty quite, too. Maybe that's why we all moved here. But I think there are a lot of communities in America that are similar. It's a shame that not everyone has been able to share our experience.
Buses are pretty cheap, though.
%~£
this_portrait
Well-known member
Stumbled across this earlier today. I think it'll come in handy when I decide to move.
Most Quiet Neighborhoods in Chicago - NabeWise, neighborhoods revealed
Most Quiet Neighborhoods in Chicago - NabeWise, neighborhoods revealed
ForeverTheWeirdKid
Well-known member
Have you lived in Thailand?
Evolution
New member
they dont hate them i think they just express the way that his kids are, if he say for his kid that the kid is quiet and shy it doesnt mean he hate his kid ,sometimes we missunderstand people when they say that we are shy and quiet we take it as offense becouse we hate this part of ourselves
Incognito10
Member
Maybe it's just because I am introvert, but I think introverts a much more interesting and intriguing. Perhaps it is because they have that element of mystery about them. For some reason, someone who cannot shut their mouth and feels the need to disclose everything that is going through their head, every waking moment are actually boring, exhausting and uninteresting to me.
I saw a comment above where someone said this is true all over the world. I've heard that Sweden along with some of the other Scandanavian countries tend to be much more introverted and it is quite valued. I've also heard that Asian cultures are very different from American culture. American culture is all about "revealing all." Look at the types of TV shows that have been widely popular over the past decade--reality TV.
I saw a comment above where someone said this is true all over the world. I've heard that Sweden along with some of the other Scandanavian countries tend to be much more introverted and it is quite valued. I've also heard that Asian cultures are very different from American culture. American culture is all about "revealing all." Look at the types of TV shows that have been widely popular over the past decade--reality TV.
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