Illness of lost opportunities

[MollyBeGood]

BlueDays-the part you mention (I don't know how to multi- quote on here still) about lowering your expectations and how it has brought you relief-I think this is some really good advice I am putting in the forefront of my brain. I need to do that and to practice gratitude, that has been my saving grace in the past and those tools I need to get to a place of peace mentally. Thanks for your wisdom.

Lavinia-It is great in a lot of ways being older now..but I wish I was getting the respect one deserves with age and experience. I think having kids would put that into perspective more. You have people looking up to you and looking to you for guidance-that's a lot of responsibility, but it does also probably make one feel accomplished mentally, I would think. Having a strong family bond is so key. It helps you weather anything.

 

[Kiwong]

Perhaps I am in a positive mood, because yesterday I thought about this thread, and wondered if my life would have been better without anxiety or just different?

 

[MollyBeGood]

Perhaps I am in a positive mood, because yesterday I thought about this thread, and wondered if my life would have been better without anxiety or just different?

I read your post that you deleted, it made sense to me also. I really get that concept but there needs to be good things happening in order to counter the bad or it doesn't work. There needs to be some success that follow the failures. I have had so little reward for my efforts. I have become very jaded from that happening so much.

It is wonderful your life turning around and you finding that drive in you!

 

[Kiwong]

I read your post that you deleted, it made sense to me also. I really get that concept but there needs to be good things happening in order to counter the bad or it doesn't work. There needs to be some success that follow the failures. I have had so little reward for my efforts. I have become very jaded from that happening so much.

It is wonderful your life turning around and you finding that drive in you!

Yes, I understand that there has to be some good things happening to make it seem worth fighting, to keep a little hope alive. I deleted most of my post because it seemed like I was on my soapbox again.

I was 45 when things started to change for me, and to be honest the change came out of a blind fight first to survive, and then to lessen the physical pain. I was so scared, so unwell, so much in pain, I went through years of it, I saw no hope, I thought I was going to die.
And somehow out of that blind fight, I turned it into a miracle, and I am not a very positive person. If I can get lucky like that, maybe other people can too, when you least expect it.

Through all of that I kept fighting, even thought there was little hope, and no guarantee of success. I kept fighting out of spite, to show how much I hated knee pain, panic and anxiety. Anxiety is the enemy and I want to make it squirm.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Kiwong, I don't think it's a bad of you to tell your victory stories in a forum so full of disappointments and people loosing hope. It's refreshing imo. If someone doesn't like it it might be because they have given-up completely and they are the ones that need it most, a positive story, even if they don't want to hear it.

 

[Lavinialuna]

Kiwong, I don't think it's a bad of you to tell your victory stories in a forum so full of disappointments and people loosing hope. It's refreshing imo. If someone doesn't like it it might be because they have given-up completely and they are the ones that need it most, a positive story, even if they don't want to hear it.

Kiwong- I agree. I personally view someone telling a success story to the ones who are down and out inspirational. Like "don't give up, things can change, it's all gonna work out!" I appreciate it. You never have come across like you were rubbing anything in anyone's face.

 

[Kiwong]

Ta Molly and Lavinia. I really wish some of the people on here could get as lucky as I did, they deserve it most.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Kiwong, I second what Molly and Lavinia have said above. I have found your posts about getting your place cleaned up inspirational. I've been needing to do the same thing for a long time now—clean, declutter, and learn to keep it that way. I see it as an essential first step toward getting the hell out of this dump. You've shown me that it can be done, despite all the stress and anxiety, and if you can do it, maybe I can, too. Thank you for that, and please keep sharing your triumphs.

 

[Kiwong]

No worries Greybeard. And yes it can be done, not easy by any means. Just to make that first step and reach out for someone to help.

 

[bsammy]

I don't really think about missed opportunities of the past too much, but I think about the stuff I'm currently missing and how my few friends are all starting families and have decent jobs etc. and I just feel left behind.

this problem you speak of only gets worse as time goes by, trust me on this..

 

[kihira]

SAD is sometimes referred to as an 'illness of lost opportunities' where individuals make major life choices to accommodate their illness.

It hit me hard in my twenties and has impacted on work/career, health, income, friendships, family and relationships. I do feel regret, but at the same time I'm in an ok position in life now and have some meaningful things that keep me going. I've been able to push back at the anxiety, reach achievements and have good experiences, and there is more I would like to do, though I sort of feel like life is winding down for me

 

[bsammy]

i found what Kiwong said to be the best avenue to try and deal with this problem..this disorder has basically ruined so many relationships/friendships in my life and i cannot even imagine how many it prevented happening..job opportunities etc etc...i just try and see it as well, maybe if i didnt have this, then id have a ton of friends but much more drama and possibly a divorce or 2 under my name..i dunno, thats the way i have to see it at times or go insane..

 

[williamreinsch]

My parents were very protective of me as a child and I think since then I started becoming weary of the outside world which lead the SA to develop more and more because I would always hide away from things which I guess then lead to a fear of these things.
Illness of lost opportunities is very accurate I would say.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

this problem you speak of only gets worse as time goes by, trust me on this..

I just turned 30 and I've been really depressed the past month, I don't feel old or uncomfortable with younger people, or anything like that, just deeply unsatisfied with life in general