If you entered a romantic relationship, would you know how to love?
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Jolima07
Member
I don't know anymore...
I never dated anyone until about 7 years ago. I had a few of those very serious gut-wrenching & emotional up-and-down relationships since. Then after the last serious one (2 years ago) I just kind shut off emotionally - although that progressed slowly.
I began doing everything I could to feel happy and content, structure my life so that I wouldn't miss anyone not being in it - i.e. every night, I would:
1. go to the gym after work
2. then take a hot lavendar salt bath (relaxing + good for you internally)
3. alternate at-home "spa" treatments (mani-pedi one night, facial the next)
4. watch shows that either made me laugh or realize I never dated anyone as attractive as a vampire (True Blood!)
5. focus on attaining my perfect body, being in a perfect state of health, and totally content.
I kept doing that, and then when I tried to date someone new, I felt bored and suffocated...I couldn't spend a weekend with him without missing my baths, gym time, eating my own healthy food, watching my shows alone in peace (with my cat), etc. We broke up (finally), and it was like he never existed. And the same thing recently with someone I dated for 6 months (6 months passed between him and the initial "new" guy).
Everything seems predictable now...I've met too many people that want to date someone just because they can't stand being alone. And me becoming a vain selfish loner has made me say "no" to being someone's shrink-with-benefits.
I never dated anyone until about 7 years ago. I had a few of those very serious gut-wrenching & emotional up-and-down relationships since. Then after the last serious one (2 years ago) I just kind shut off emotionally - although that progressed slowly.
I began doing everything I could to feel happy and content, structure my life so that I wouldn't miss anyone not being in it - i.e. every night, I would:
1. go to the gym after work
2. then take a hot lavendar salt bath (relaxing + good for you internally)
3. alternate at-home "spa" treatments (mani-pedi one night, facial the next)
4. watch shows that either made me laugh or realize I never dated anyone as attractive as a vampire (True Blood!)
5. focus on attaining my perfect body, being in a perfect state of health, and totally content.
I kept doing that, and then when I tried to date someone new, I felt bored and suffocated...I couldn't spend a weekend with him without missing my baths, gym time, eating my own healthy food, watching my shows alone in peace (with my cat), etc. We broke up (finally), and it was like he never existed. And the same thing recently with someone I dated for 6 months (6 months passed between him and the initial "new" guy).
Everything seems predictable now...I've met too many people that want to date someone just because they can't stand being alone. And me becoming a vain selfish loner has made me say "no" to being someone's shrink-with-benefits.
SilentBird
Well-known member
Love is something I don't want to catch.
skins
1
yeh this^^
BamanPiderman
Well-known member
Probably too little. I haven't been in a serious relationship ever, but with my friends, I sort of feel as though I kinda neglect them because I'm worried about seeming too attached and overbearing, and I think it would be the same with a boyfriend.
I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship with someone that can even consider something as ''loving too much''.
When I make a commitment to someone I'm assuming it's for the rest of our lives. I don't make such a commitment lightly, or often for that matter. As such, when I do, I wouldn't want to be limited to half gestures and insincere expression of my affection.
Stalking, being clingy and jealous behaviour is of course a whole different matter. No matter how strongly I feel, that's not acceptable behaviour. But that has more to do with respect and trust then with how strongly you feel in my opinion.
When I make a commitment to someone I'm assuming it's for the rest of our lives. I don't make such a commitment lightly, or often for that matter. As such, when I do, I wouldn't want to be limited to half gestures and insincere expression of my affection.
Stalking, being clingy and jealous behaviour is of course a whole different matter. No matter how strongly I feel, that's not acceptable behaviour. But that has more to do with respect and trust then with how strongly you feel in my opinion.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
I do both and it ain't good. (Loving too much as in being clingy; to not caring at all.) Probably very confusing for my poor boyfriend :/
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
nodejesque
Well-known member
I was in a relationship for a while.. and he said he loved me. Showed it.. and we where good. But I always kept a safe distance emotionally. We broke up... and it hurt but I was ok because I didn't really allow myself to open up to him. Then I fell in love. This other person loved me too. It was amazing... I let him see me at my worst. He loved me first... and although I tried to pull away he didn't let me. Slowly I opened up and let him in. Then... he got tired of my "issues" and slowly started taking away what I loved about himself. I think subconsciously as a way to punish me. And that **** sucked. It became too painful. Until I think he just forgot about me and I faded... I should have never opened up.
I concur. You can never love too much (reminds me of the song Endless Love btw), but you can infringe on people's right to privacy.