If all us social phobes got together for a party
- Thread starter KiaKaha
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kihira
1
The next question is what are they juggling?!
Their home life and their working hours?
Beatmetrics
Well-known member
LMAO that would be funny! Waiting for the others to talk...we'd all give body signals the whole night.
Joh
Well-known member
wow...it'll be more fun ! just because we all can understand each other ! better thn the normal peopl! all phobes should keep in touch with us !
navierstalks
Member
Being at party consisting exclusively of socially awkward people is probably my greatest fear. I'm convinced that even in an environment that is safe, familiar, and completely without the pretense that accompanies most social gatherings, I would still be the only person sitting quietly in the corner while everyone else gets along merrily.
Example: I studied applied physics at one of the geekiest universities in the U.S. (think Harvey Mudd, Carnegie Mellon, Caltech, MIT), and I was the only person who didn't say a word during a freshman orientation dinner for students in my major. In a group of social phobes, I still took home the prize for social ineptness.
Example: I studied applied physics at one of the geekiest universities in the U.S. (think Harvey Mudd, Carnegie Mellon, Caltech, MIT), and I was the only person who didn't say a word during a freshman orientation dinner for students in my major. In a group of social phobes, I still took home the prize for social ineptness.
Nah, even if you are the only one in the corner i'd do my best to talk to you so you'd feel comfortable.
My greatest fear is that people don't understand me. I really suck at talking explaining and all of that
navierstalks
Member
The problem with social gatherings is not that people don't sympathise with the friendless loser, it's that usually people's self-interests outweigh any sympathy for others, and understandably so. Let me explain:
It may be the case that you would acknowledge me sitting awkwardly in the corner, but the chances are that before you decide to make me feel comfortable, you would meet someone else who you are comfortable talking to. Once this happens, it's human nature for you to not want to sacrifice your own comfortable situation for some social outcast that you don't know and probably wouldn't make a good friend.
Is your fear about new people not understanding you, or that no one understands you? In other words, do you think that anyone (parents/siblings/ old friends) understands you? Just curious.
you're right that is very true, however i said that because i wanted to go against my human nature of being in the 'safe' spot and talking to the people i feel comfortable talking with. What could happen is that there will be so many people that i can't make them all feel comfortable.
Maybe we could sit in a hippydrumcircle?
Or would speaking then be .. public speaking? I dont know how bad everybody's SP is
My fear of people not understanding me? I (sorta tried)explaining it to my best friend a few days ago:
- i really suck at talking. I don't do it too often, and when i do it's the opposite of fluid.
- my native language is dutch but i feel a lot more comfortable with english, what happens is: try to talk dutch doesn't feel right, try to talk english don't know all the words
- i think too much about things: A friend of mine said that it was gay that i wore my friends sweater. I took it way too personal and felt hurt(my emotional self) , then i thought: 'wait why do i feel hurt, she kissed another girl if there is someone who is gay its her' (my logical self), then i try to respond and explain what i think but its often too late (conversation is already bout something different) and this late response in combination with the lack of talking/language skill get's me frustrated and i break down. I just sit there among the people i like, they're talking about things i like but i cant join the conversation. Often i agree with them, or they say thing i just wanted to say and i can only laugh along like a fake groupie.
Well i suck @ explaining, so you shouldn't have though that i could explain how i can't explain things :']
Maybe we could sit in a hippydrumcircle?
Or would speaking then be .. public speaking? I dont know how bad everybody's SP is
My fear of people not understanding me? I (sorta tried)explaining it to my best friend a few days ago:
- i really suck at talking. I don't do it too often, and when i do it's the opposite of fluid.
- my native language is dutch but i feel a lot more comfortable with english, what happens is: try to talk dutch doesn't feel right, try to talk english don't know all the words
- i think too much about things: A friend of mine said that it was gay that i wore my friends sweater. I took it way too personal and felt hurt(my emotional self) , then i thought: 'wait why do i feel hurt, she kissed another girl if there is someone who is gay its her' (my logical self), then i try to respond and explain what i think but its often too late (conversation is already bout something different) and this late response in combination with the lack of talking/language skill get's me frustrated and i break down. I just sit there among the people i like, they're talking about things i like but i cant join the conversation. Often i agree with them, or they say thing i just wanted to say and i can only laugh along like a fake groupie.
Well i suck @ explaining, so you shouldn't have though that i could explain how i can't explain things :']
navierstalks
Member
I actually understand your explanation perfectly. I guess it's because I have struggled with the same problem for my whole life.
When I sit down alone and in a quiet space, I am certain that my intellectual capacity is above average, and my academic results confirm this. Even so, I often get the feeling that I have some sort of cognitive deficiency, because I'm not able to process my thoughts quickly enough to be active in group conversation. People I'm close to try to tell me that I'm actually just as fast as everyone else, but that I am preoccupied with filtering the quality of my thoughts before expressing them out loud. Does this sound like it might apply to you?
Anyway, my solution is to avoid group situations, because the conversation moves too quickly for me to interject. I'm a much more effective one-on-one conversationalist.
When I sit down alone and in a quiet space, I am certain that my intellectual capacity is above average, and my academic results confirm this. Even so, I often get the feeling that I have some sort of cognitive deficiency, because I'm not able to process my thoughts quickly enough to be active in group conversation. People I'm close to try to tell me that I'm actually just as fast as everyone else, but that I am preoccupied with filtering the quality of my thoughts before expressing them out loud. Does this sound like it might apply to you?
Anyway, my solution is to avoid group situations, because the conversation moves too quickly for me to interject. I'm a much more effective one-on-one conversationalist.
anxiety1408
Well-known member
Lols, It would be difficult to push myself to go, But It would be rather interesting
anxiety1408
Well-known member
Ha you know whats funny, the girl above is from canada, yourself from netherlands and myself from england. So a meeting location would be interesting lol
Kathryn.fr
Well-known member
I'm game
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
anxiety1408
Well-known member
Only difference will be that we'll be occupying the circumference of the circle, Good enough for all of us to play ring a ring o' roses
Then there would still be the roof and floor. I wouldn't be surprised if some of us defied some natural laws to avoid interaction. We need a full sphear room, so that we neatly slide to the party zone.
Kathryn.fr
Well-known member
A giant one of these...
lol.
lol.