I saw a 5 year old fall out of a window and I....

[DontSleepOnMe]

.... walked by without doing a thing!

Horrible, I saw him lieing there crieing, I panicked in a moment, the child looked at me and I felt no emotion, just fear and the need to avoid the situation. While lookin away I just thought about what people who might see me, might think of me, that I just look away and don't get help, so I put my headphones on so it would seem like I didn't hear the child crieing

I can not believe how obsessed I was with what people might think of me that I couldn't even help in a situation like this. All I cared about was me, and how I could embarass myself or do something weird.

I left a child there at night crieing, possibly with serious injuries (fell out of a 2 store building onto the street)

I didn't care at all, I just wanted to avoid it, horrible, later when I was so far away that I could barely hear the child crieing,and so far away from the situation that my mind came back and I could think rational again, is that I had thoughts that I seriously need to get help, the child could end up dead there, who knows how long it will lie there in pain before someone finds it. That child must have felt horrible when I looked at it and walked away.

I was on auto pilot, just trying to get away to safety, I couldn't think rational, nothing

Well when my rational mind came back I ran as fast as I could home the other way and got my mother to help, so she got the parents out.

It was weird, the parents were inside, didn't supposly hear the child crieing, and didn't want any help or get the child to a hospital. I got the feeling the mother threw the child out of the window on purpose. How it survived it is beyond me. Must have been very lucky

Anyway this is just horrible, I looked away instead of helping, I had all kinds of OCD thoughts about this all night, if I become a psycho or antisocial, I looked at the boy who was crieing and screaming and I just felt nothing, I didn't even panick hard, I sure could have helped but I didnt and put headphones on. I deserve to get shot, well that's what someone who might saw me think. I don't know if I will ever show myself in that neighbourhood again, or have that boy see me again. Not for a while. I just feel terrible. I know I couldn't do a thing, I was on auto-pilot, and I did the right thing to go back, but still it's wrong and horrible what I did, that I looked away, how could I. Imagine me falling out of a 2 store house, lieing there in pain and someone walks by and puts headphones on

Thank god the child seems ok... I think Iam gona be agorophic now. I never wanna be in a situation like this again

 

[Sacrament]

That's strange because today on the news they said a kid approximately that age fell off a window (higher, I think) and is now in a coma with a lot of trauma.

I don't know what to think or say regarding your reaction, but in situations like that, you just have to do something, otherwise you'll regret it for as long as you remember. Plus, you would have had something to make you feel better about yourself and people would look at you proudly, commenting "that's the guy who helped out that little boy" and so on.

 

[worrywort]

oh man that's heavy. A girl fainted right in front of me in a crowded corridor once and I just froze up....all I could think about was what people were thinking of me, instead of caring for this poor girl.....that was about 5 years ago now and ever since that day I've been consciously trying to be more caring and think of other people more than myself....and it's really worked....if it happened today I'm much more confident I'd handle it better.

But the funny thing was that day, that even though I froze up....nobody else was doing anything either! I have a sneaky feeling that your reaction today is a lot more common than people like to admit. Just type in "kitty genovese" in google and you'll see what I mean.

But I think the important thing is that you're aware you did something wrong. If you had walked on by without even feeling guilty, then that's a bit worse. But the gap between knowing what the right thing to do is, and actually doing it can be pretty huge sometimes. We all fail at this.....OFTEN!....me included.

try to turn it into something good.

 

[Elad]

Is this real? If so how the fuck could you walk away from a 5 year that fell off a 2nd story window!?

edit: I find this very, very hard to believe.

What the fuck.

 

[madmike]

OMG! :O

Sorry, i don't know what else to say :/

 

[SickJoke]

I really recommend meeting a psychiatrist, because I think you're showing the signs of a sociopath.

 

[Remus]

yup agreed

 

[sabbath9]

If you're not a paramedic or a doctor then what exactly can you do? I've seen horrible accidents, does that mean I should stop and practice first aid on the victims? What if what I do to the victims makes them worse or kills them. It seems bad that you just walked away, but you shouldn't blame yourself. It's just something that happened. You didn't push the kid out the window. You are not trained to deal with such an event.

 

[marciaX3]

i think a lot of ppl have this "bystander" problem where they see someone is clearly hurt, and they can't bring themselves to act out of fear of doing something wrong and possibly getting sued or making things worse, really not knowing what to do so you figure, they're better off getting help from someone else, etc. there was a driveby shooting in front of my mom's building once and this guy was rolling around in the street shot a few times, he was screaming and swearing for help. all these people came out and just stood there around him, everyone was on their phone probably calling 911, but no one would touch him or get w/in a 5 ft radius of him... in this case, i don't think you needed to fix him yourself, but definitely get help for them. i don't know if you had a cell on you or there were other stores/homes nearby for you to yell for help, etc. there isn't really anything you can do to fix this now, but if you're scared to take action, then just call 911 or yell out for help, stay w/ them until help comes so they're not there alone. i know it's hard to bring yourself out of "bystander" mode but in some cases, you really have to to save a life. hopefully everything ended up fine for the child, just get yourself the help you need to be able to do different from now on.

 

[j_brown2]

i thought about being a sociopath, coz the moment i saw the kid, i didnt feel anything, no connection, emootions nothing, he was just like an object.just later when the thought crossed my mind that the kid could be there lieing and crieing for a long time, that i could put myself in his situation of how he must feel,

on the other hand though, i got a severe social phobia, like real bad, i NEVER open my mouth, if i do i panick so hard, i never leave the house except at night. no way i could make a call... i think if i were hurt lieing somewhere and had a phone i couldnt call for help for myself, iam cripppled by my fears. what if i would do the wrong thing, what if it were a mistake to call for the parents before checkin at the kid, you know when you panick your so confused, than severe social phobia, ahh

 

[j_brown2]

Is this real? If so how the fuck could you walk away from a 5 year that fell off a 2nd story window!?

edit: I find this very, very hard to believe.

What the fuck.

Wtf? Its easy for you to say, you work or go to college if iam not mistaken, your in a country where they speak your native language, me I haven’t socialized for 3 years, seen just one person face to face in that period, Iam a foreigner with a severe SA, that I couldn’t even make myself get help if I were hurt. I Just can not open my mouth. When I walk down the street at day time, my muscles are being eaten up, I cant even walk straight then, theres like a force pushing me from the back of my shoulders down, my legs feel like they have heavy weights attached to it and I wont even try to explain how my head or face feels like, and whats going on in my head… iam in such an emotionless state, when iam like that, that it doesn’t surprise me that I walked by at first. I am disconnected with the world a 100%. Disconnected with myself. Blame me all you want you ignorant asshole, I noticed you’re an ignorant asshole a while ago. **** you


When i got to my mother and told her i saw a kid fall out of the window, i was scared to death she gonna say i should go and get the parents out --- thats how ****ed up iam and scared of social contact... well i was totally unreal, coz that didnt happen, my mother just run out of the house to get to the kid

yea **** you, i did the most i could, it might seem a simple thing to you just saying to a person like my mother that a kid needs help, but it isnt for me, asshole

 

[madmike]

Stop blaming yourself too much, you need help, but that doesn't mean you're beyond help. What's more, you realize you need help and are seeking it at the moment by posting on this forum! (That, to me, proves you're not sociopathic/psychopathic/whatever). DO seek out a psychiarist and arrange regular meetings, don't delay it and don't make excuses you need to talk about these things to people with experience, people on here might make you feel worse. I completely understand why you did it, but my SP hasn't been so bad in many, many years and therefore i find it hard to believe that any adult could react that way to such a situation. My social phobia also developed to it's worst when i was new in my country however, so i know it can be really difficult living in a foreign country, but you need to get out there again and make some kind of connection to the world...

 

[Doomed2Die]

Sorry to hear that j_brown2, I suppose some dont realise what severe SA/depression is and the heights it can get to.

If it's any consolation you did get help in the end, the kids parents sound more than a little worrying though.

 

[rado31]

realize two things :

- most people would help only rarely , on a totally random basis (today this is even more rare , because there is a trend of society made of self-centered totaly selfish individuals)
- most people wouldnt get stuck in event , dread about it (like sp-ers)

By only thinking of it you are showing that you are a real good being

Problem is that the volume of emotions is so strong in us, SPic people :S

 

[j_brown2]

no psychiatrist! human contact is not possible at the moment. iam sure iam no sociopath, its the same as if someone told me now i have to go to work in a week, i will be emotionless about it, it will seem unreal, but when the day comes when i get ready to go to work it will seem so real and anxiety will eat me up and make me loose it. SA makes me be emotionless many times, like iam brain dead and iam sure iam not the only one with this

I know what i did was wrong, iam not trying to find an excuse, (no i just feel bad that i couldnt help better but i dont put blame on me, i did as much as i could). but on the other hand people have to have some ****in understanding for situations like this, would you ****in blame a guy with 2 broken hands that he couldnt perform first aid on somebody in need with noone around? or blame someone who saw the child, couldnt take it and got unciounscious? like people who pass out when they see blood?

I know i would be the first to help if i would be free of SA. Just coz i got a strong fear of social situations i wont see myself as a sociopath or a bad guy.

Iam done.

 

[j_brown2]

realize two things :

- most people would help only rarely , on a totally random basis (today this is even more rare , because there is a trend of society made of self-centered totaly selfish individuals)
- most people wouldnt get stuck in event , dread about it (like sp-ers)

By only thinking of it you are showing that you are a real good being

Problem is that the volume of emotions is so strong in us, SPic people :S

Well thank you, i feared if i post this everyone will tell me iam a ****in monster, than i would really question myself and just feel lost in this world,

 

[j_brown2]

I don't know what to think or say regarding your reaction, but in situations like that, you just have to do something, otherwise you'll regret it for as long as you remember. Plus, you would have had something to make you feel better about yourself and people would look at you proudly, commenting "that's the guy who helped out that little boy" and so on.

If i could only think like that! i rather thought people will comment something like "this guy didnt have common sense, this guy is an idiot he didnt do this and this first, if someone else where here instead of that idiot that child might have survived". its not easy when you got severe SA to think like this,

 

[powerfulthoughts]

If you were healthy without this debilitating fear haunting you, then you freely admit you would have done something - that's a GOOD thing. It's not YOU that is bad, it's your phobia. If it was you that was bad at the core, you would still have no hard feelings about it even now.

 

[Elad]

Wtf? Its easy for you to say, you work or go to college if iam not mistaken, your in a country where they speak your native language, me I haven’t socialized for 3 years, seen just one person face to face in that period, Iam a foreigner with a severe SA, that I couldn’t even make myself get help if I were hurt. I Just can not open my mouth. When I walk down the street at day time, my muscles are being eaten up, I cant even walk straight then, theres like a force pushing me from the back of my shoulders down, my legs feel like they have heavy weights attached to it and I wont even try to explain how my head or face feels like, and whats going on in my head… iam in such an emotionless state, when iam like that, that it doesn’t surprise me that I walked by at first. I am disconnected with the world a 100%. Disconnected with myself. Blame me all you want you ignorant asshole, I noticed you’re an ignorant asshole a while ago. **** you


When i got to my mother and told her i saw a kid fall out of the window, i was scared to death she gonna say i should go and get the parents out --- thats how ****ed up iam and scared of social contact... well i was totally unreal, coz that didnt happen, my mother just run out of the house to get to the kid

yea **** you, i did the most i could, it might seem a simple thing to you just saying to a person like my mother that a kid needs help, but it isnt for me, asshole

Wtf? You don't know anything about my life, and stop fishing for attention. Do you want me to play a tiny violin for you?

I hope you do feel horrible about it, because you really should. There is obviously more going on than just social anxiety when you can walk away from a child who fell from a second story building [Who could have easily died] and people trying to use social anxiety as some kind of excuse for not helping in that situation makes me sick...

edit: Get some help for you problems, its hard but it has to be done.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Oh excuses excuses

Wtf? You don't know anything about my life, and stop fishing for attention. Do you want me to play a tiny violin for you?

I hope you do feel horrible about it, because you really should. There is obviously more going on than just social anxiety when you can walk away from a child who fell from a second story building [Who could have easily died] and people trying to use social anxiety as some kind of excuse for not helping in that situation makes me sick...

edit: Get some help for you problems, its hard but it has to be done.

I agree with Doyle.