I Need to Vent (Please Take No Offense SPW People)

lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
i think it's good to hear each other's stories, gives a little perspective. everyone has different life experiences and each person's struggle is important and all feelings are valid. i think perspective is good sometimes. we can use it to improve our own lives and make us well. but i agree with the above poster, no one should be made to feel ashamed of their life story.

sharing stories is healing.
 
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Kristopher

Active member
I agree for the most part with you xervello, because for the most part i have had it easy with people that have loved me clothed me sheltered me and all the above. and when i here stories of your friend or see the horrors of the slaughter house we call the world, my apathy towards life grows immensely, because it would seem that this suffering goes on for no necessary reason other than the fact that we exist and its a part of life we have to deal with until we die. without a god or an afterlife, or some positive outcome to the futility and suffering in life, id rather just push the red "The End" button on all sentient life for the value of suffering and its need to not be endured.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Kristopher said:
I agree for the most part with you xervello, because for the most part i have had it easy with people that have loved me clothed me sheltered me and all the above. and when i here stories of your friend or see the horrors of the slaughter house we call the world, my apathy towards life grows immensely, because it would seem that this suffering goes on for no necessary reason other than the fact that we exist and its a part of life we have to deal with until we die. without a god or an afterlife, or some positive outcome to the futility and suffering in life, id rather just push the red "The End" button on all sentient life for the value of suffering and its need to not be endured.
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thanks, but i'd rather you didn't push that button on my behalf

there are some people who actually enjoy being alive :thumbup:
 
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Kristopher

Active member
I wouldn't coyote:perfect: just saying with the absolute proof that life has no real purpose, witch in my heart of hearts i truly don't believe, the madness that goes on in this world is that is unjustified is truly frustrating :kickingmyself:
 
twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
Whilst I agree that a sense of worldly perspective is important, it shouldn't be seen as a reason to mitigate our own anxieties.

Rather, that kind of perspective should be used to develop compassion and awareness for the kinds of difficulties that other people on the planet we share might be experiencing. Perhaps it can even serve as a reminder as to why we need to appreciate some of the more positive things in our own lives; for example, a stable family or fresh running water.

But peoples' individual anxieties can't nor shouldn't just disappear on the basis that 'somebody else has it worse'. I'm not speaking about you, but often when I hear people use that saying it sounds a little bit patronising. I know I'd feel pretty pants if somebody's problems were cured on the basis that I apparently have it worse than them.
 
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davidburke

Well-known member
i think you need to take a break. I think we all have experienced this from time to time,The negative posts can get you down and overwhelmed with negativity if you spend to long reading into it. i'm not saying people shouldn't because if you can't vent here where can you just maybe take a break for a while when this happens. i know the feeling
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
It saddens me and angers me how unfair this world can be. Some people just never had a real chance. Then there are those that do have a chance, and yet, for some reason, we just can't...move. We are like birds with clipped wings.

coyote said:
the reason so many of us feel bad is precisely because we DO know (or feel) that there are so many people that have been able to overcome much worse adversity than we have - the question that plagues us is "why can't we?"

pointing out to us that there are others who are worse off and able to make something of their lives doesn't make us feel any better about ourselves - it makes us feel worse, because we can't seem to do it
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This. I often read stories of people that have overcome all sorts of adversity. They come out stronger for it and are sources of inspiration for others. I am not sure if it is the depression or anxiety that clouds things over, but man, I just don't know how to do it. No, I lie. I do know how to do it, but I just can't take the actions... :idontknow:

I am sorry for what your friend is going through. Hope the best for her; she seems like a strong one. And I agree with the others, that yes, sometimes breaks are necessary from this place. Do come back though!
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Barrier said:
I guess what bugs me most about this post is the sharp division that is being created. Either you're shamed into feeling guilty or you don't and you're a narcissist. It's not that black or white.
Also I think narcissism definitely isn't the right word to use here. Self-involved, maybe, but I doubt people here lack empathy. Most may have too much of it, hence the anxiety and everything? People have to find their own perspective instead of it being forced upon them through this story. Maybe the post was written with the best intentions, but it certainly didn't come out like that. I think most of us will have heard the 'but other people have it worse!' comment and it just doesn't help (me anyway).
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Well put.

____
 
cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
I can see where you are coming from.

Everyone has a story to tell.
The good, bad, and ugly.

I've had it bad just as a lot of you all have. I've witnessed a lot - too much and it has hurt me. Some days are better than others for me and sometimes I honestly feel like ending it. Other times I just sit and cry for seemingly no reason at all. Someone I know once said that I was a coward for not ending my life if I think it's "that" bad. Meh.

Sometimes what I do when I am feeling really sorry for myself and throwing a huge pity party, I go to YouTube and find the most ridiculous stuff I can, and have a good laugh.

Other times I will watch a documentary, or similar and think, hmmm, well at least I don't know what that's like (whatever "that" may be).

Yes, it is a bit quirky or superficial for me to do these things and yes it is temporary and NO it does not solve anything for me, but just for a brief few minutes, I feel ok.

But most of the time I wonder and think and think and wonder just what the he.ll is wrong with me and what did I do to deserve this...

But it doesn't make my 'story' any less or more than anyone else's, just different, different in how I perceive it, different in how I handle it, and different in what I choose to do about it.

I guess it is baby steps for me right now. That's the best I can come up with that helps me, if at least for 10 minutes.
 
rosewood

rosewood

Well-known member
I dont think anyone would dissagree that your friend has suffered horribly. and she is an amazing soul to have done so and be the person she is.

Perhaps you are aware that the issue of SA stems from a seeping uncontrollable barrage of negative thoughts that undermine the person. to get rid of them takes a considerable amount of mindfull awareness, and depending on how entrenched these thoughts are and from whom they originally came from, they can take years to get rid of.

the process to get rid of them though reqires the person not judge themselves or compare themselves to others, while simultaneously noticing the negative thoughts and replacing with more constructive thoughts.

so i can see why looking at folks in this forum and comparing them to your friend might on the surface seem like a useful thing. I appreciate that you were trying to help others through giving more difficult life stories. Your heart is in the right place.
 
Xervello

Xervello

Well-known member
rosewood said:
I appreciate that you were trying to help others through giving more difficult life stories. Your heart is in the right place.
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Thank you for saying so. You're sweet. But I don't know that I was trying to help anyone, to be honest. I just needed to vent, lol, as the title says. I was upset in regards to this person. Perhaps I took it out a little too harshly on the people here. All the same, I don't regret posting it.

rosewood said:
Perhaps you are aware that the issue of SA stems from a seeping uncontrollable barrage of negative thoughts that undermine the person. to get rid of them takes a considerable amount of mindfull awareness, and depending on how entrenched these thoughts are and from whom they originally came from, they can take years to get rid of.

the process to get rid of them though reqires the person not judge themselves or compare themselves to others, while simultaneously noticing the negative thoughts and replacing with more constructive thoughts.

so i can see why looking at folks in this forum and comparing them to your friend might on the surface seem like a useful thing.
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I think your assessment of SA is pretty spot-on. Have you had any luck at all in lessening yours?
 
Unspoken

Unspoken

Well-known member
Damn those starving third world children without disease being examples of suffering; there are starving third-world children with disease. Ungrateful brats.
 
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