MNM322
Well-known member
Hi. First...I know I posted about this before... and you can read that thread too if you want... I am not trying to OBSESS over this... but I usually do over everything anyway and since we had our misunderstanding but now are on our way to "talking" again, with simple greetings, I feel I may have a second chance at this... I don't wanna blow it or make it worse so I need advice.
This is about the neighbor guy. I apologize this can be long. Thanks for reading if you do.... He is older than me, but nearly 20 years. We got along well though, and he does not look even older than 40 so it never really phased me. Yes somewhere along the way I started to get "feelings" for him but out of my massive fear of rejection and losing people, I never did anything about it...including flirting (at least not intentional) however I DID think we were becoming friends and neighbors can be friends, heck he told me he was "good friends" with this woman who used to be a neighbor, granted she is closer in age than me to him but still, age should not matter with friends.
Anyway... when we had our misunderstanding he said "We are just neighbors. we are not friends or friends for years to come" and while some speculate he might be upset I "Friend-zoned" him, I doubt it, he either just was having a bad day and said it or he really didn't see me as a friend and it bothered him... so I need to know, based on the following things, was I crazy to think we were "Friends"? How can I keep things "just neighborly" in the future but still have it the way we were (if he is willing to, since he thought that was neighborly anyway)
**He told me all kinds of personal things and usually, just randomly telling me. Not because I "Asked" things like... about his father's death, his mom's illness and how they would have fights and how she was hard to live with, his birthday/place (almost right away I knew this), about the issues he had with his brother, the illnesses his niece was going through, tons of details on his surgery including where and when, places/times of events he was going to, how he cried over things (like his pets death and certain movies)
** He offered to help me with things like getting my dogs into new places for therapy visits, picking out a car, giving me rides (and my dogs) before we had a car, helping me think of places my disabled brother could apply for jobs etc
** He invited me to his 50th birthday... with my dogs.. and he was not having a party. It was just me and them, dropping by to hang with him. He CLAIMED he "loved" my birthday card and was gonna frame it (but during his rant last month he said he was sick of cutsey cards and I assume he meant this one as well, so IDK)
**We would sit in the grass most of the time we talked, not stand in the yard or driveway, sit, close by, and alot of times he would interact so sweetly with my dogs playing with them, getting them to do tricks etc...
** He randomly decided to "walk the dogs" home with me one day and to look at my new car
** He happily looked at the photos I took in England of wildlife and ASKED questions about them. Thanked me for bringing them over
** He was willing to help me with my foster dog who hates men and he even ended up petting her (no man outside my house has done that)
** MOST of the times we talked, he would initiate the chat and alot of those times he was "busy" with something but stopped to walk over and talk to me.
** He never once asked to meet or get to know my parents or brothers, my parents own this house. They had been outside alot, and even when he was but nothing... he only ever talked to me, which to this day still baffles me.
Now... I know he has stopped talking to me basically other than "Greetings" but as I said, I am hopeful, in time we may talk again and I CANT mess it up. So were those listed things, neighborly ONLY or was I right in assuming we were at least becoming friends? I am very confused and don't wanna upset him again in the future so I need help. I am horrible at reading people.
Thanks for your time
This is about the neighbor guy. I apologize this can be long. Thanks for reading if you do.... He is older than me, but nearly 20 years. We got along well though, and he does not look even older than 40 so it never really phased me. Yes somewhere along the way I started to get "feelings" for him but out of my massive fear of rejection and losing people, I never did anything about it...including flirting (at least not intentional) however I DID think we were becoming friends and neighbors can be friends, heck he told me he was "good friends" with this woman who used to be a neighbor, granted she is closer in age than me to him but still, age should not matter with friends.
Anyway... when we had our misunderstanding he said "We are just neighbors. we are not friends or friends for years to come" and while some speculate he might be upset I "Friend-zoned" him, I doubt it, he either just was having a bad day and said it or he really didn't see me as a friend and it bothered him... so I need to know, based on the following things, was I crazy to think we were "Friends"? How can I keep things "just neighborly" in the future but still have it the way we were (if he is willing to, since he thought that was neighborly anyway)
**He told me all kinds of personal things and usually, just randomly telling me. Not because I "Asked" things like... about his father's death, his mom's illness and how they would have fights and how she was hard to live with, his birthday/place (almost right away I knew this), about the issues he had with his brother, the illnesses his niece was going through, tons of details on his surgery including where and when, places/times of events he was going to, how he cried over things (like his pets death and certain movies)
** He offered to help me with things like getting my dogs into new places for therapy visits, picking out a car, giving me rides (and my dogs) before we had a car, helping me think of places my disabled brother could apply for jobs etc
** He invited me to his 50th birthday... with my dogs.. and he was not having a party. It was just me and them, dropping by to hang with him. He CLAIMED he "loved" my birthday card and was gonna frame it (but during his rant last month he said he was sick of cutsey cards and I assume he meant this one as well, so IDK)
**We would sit in the grass most of the time we talked, not stand in the yard or driveway, sit, close by, and alot of times he would interact so sweetly with my dogs playing with them, getting them to do tricks etc...
** He randomly decided to "walk the dogs" home with me one day and to look at my new car
** He happily looked at the photos I took in England of wildlife and ASKED questions about them. Thanked me for bringing them over
** He was willing to help me with my foster dog who hates men and he even ended up petting her (no man outside my house has done that)
** MOST of the times we talked, he would initiate the chat and alot of those times he was "busy" with something but stopped to walk over and talk to me.
** He never once asked to meet or get to know my parents or brothers, my parents own this house. They had been outside alot, and even when he was but nothing... he only ever talked to me, which to this day still baffles me.
Now... I know he has stopped talking to me basically other than "Greetings" but as I said, I am hopeful, in time we may talk again and I CANT mess it up. So were those listed things, neighborly ONLY or was I right in assuming we were at least becoming friends? I am very confused and don't wanna upset him again in the future so I need help. I am horrible at reading people.
Thanks for your time