I have trouble answering and asking my own questions

[LazyHermitCrab]

To make it simple here are some examples:

1. With mom at restaurant:
Waitress-What would you like to order?
Mom-*Orders both*
Waitress-Was it good?
Mom-She's nearly finished it hahaha!
Waitress-Great!
Mom-I think she needs a box
Waitress-Okay coming right up!

2. With friend with another friend of hers I don't know
Friend's friend- It's nice to meet you! Do you have any hobbies?
My friend- She has a cute pet, etc.
Friend's friend-Oh wow cool!

3. At work
Coworker- *In the way*
Me- I wait till he moves
Other coworkers- Hey move! (to the coworker in the way)

Does this happen to you too sometimes?

 

[Iluv]

It seems like you have some people who like to talk for you! While all is good it gets annoying I know how you feel. Sometimes we just have to step up a bit and usually when you start speaking up and saying that 'oh no that's not what I wanted' people will get the hint let you speak for yourself. Hope this helps
When I'm at a restaurant and somebody tries ordering for me I go 'I actually changed my mind...' And just go on from there so I can speak up.

 

[Niteowl]

Do you like that people talk for you? My mum does it for me all the time, and I often wish she wouldn't. It does help though lol. You just need to talk first really. If you can't think what to say, just make a gesture or go "umm", so they know you're going to answer, and take it from there. It sounds rude, but if somebody starts to talk for you, don't be afraid to talk over them quickly - the question was for you after all. That might help if it happens a lot, because I imagine you don't want to talk once they start.

 

[tinygirl.93]

To make it simple here are some examples:

1. With mom at restaurant:
Waitress-What would you like to order?
Mom-*Orders both*
Waitress-Was it good?
Mom-She's nearly finished it hahaha!
Waitress-Great!
Mom-I think she needs a box
Waitress-Okay coming right up!

2. With friend with another friend of hers I don't know
Friend's friend- It's nice to meet you! Do you have any hobbies?
My friend- She has a cute pet, etc.
Friend's friend-Oh wow cool!

3. At work
Coworker- *In the way*
Me- I wait till he moves
Other coworkers- Hey move! (to the coworker in the way)

Does this happen to you too sometimes?

Hey are we twins?? (; happens all the time

 

[Phoenixx]

People don't talk for me as much as they used to. While I didn't always mind it, I got annoyed with it after a while.

Growing up my mom talked for me a lot. Meeting new people, she talked for me. Someone asked about something, she'd answer it. Ordering out, she'd do both orders. Then within the last year she just stopped all of a sudden, so when someone asked/said something to me, I'd just sit there for a couple seconds before I realized she wasn't talking for me anymore. Yeah talk about awkward.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

It seems like you have some people who like to talk for you! While all is good it gets annoying I know how you feel. Sometimes we just have to step up a bit and usually when you start speaking up and saying that 'oh no that's not what I wanted' people will get the hint let you speak for yourself. Hope this helps
When I'm at a restaurant and somebody tries ordering for me I go 'I actually changed my mind...' And just go on from there so I can speak up.

Do you always have a backup entree?

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Do you like that people talk for you? My mum does it for me all the time, and I often wish she wouldn't. It does help though lol. You just need to talk first really. If you can't think what to say, just make a gesture or go "umm", so they know you're going to answer, and take it from there. It sounds rude, but if somebody starts to talk for you, don't be afraid to talk over them quickly - the question was for you after all. That might help if it happens a lot, because I imagine you don't want to talk once they start.

I don't mind too much unless it becomes embarassing.. My mom talks a lot for me and then asks why didn't you talk? Does yours? lol.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Hey are we twins?? (; happens all the time

YES my long lost twin :O...............

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

People don't talk for me as much as they used to. While I didn't always mind it, I got annoyed with it after a while.

Growing up my mom talked for me a lot. Meeting new people, she talked for me. Someone asked about something, she'd answer it. Ordering out, she'd do both orders. Then within the last year she just stopped all of a sudden, so when someone asked/said something to me, I'd just sit there for a couple seconds before I realized she wasn't talking for me anymore. Yeah talk about awkward.

Wonder why she stopped randomly? Sometimes my mom will say "okay ask for bread or chopsticks, you can do it" and it's a preplanned asking for something so I have my chance lol.

 

[Tulicks]

To make it simple here are some examples:

1. With mom at restaurant:
Waitress-What would you like to order?
Mom-*Orders both*
Waitress-Was it good?
Mom-She's nearly finished it hahaha!
Waitress-Great!
Mom-I think she needs a box
Waitress-Okay coming right up!

2. With friend with another friend of hers I don't know
Friend's friend- It's nice to meet you! Do you have any hobbies?
My friend- She has a cute pet, etc.
Friend's friend-Oh wow cool!

3. At work
Coworker- *In the way*
Me- I wait till he moves
Other coworkers- Hey move! (to the coworker in the way)

Does this happen to you too sometimes?

Oh God yes! This happens to me all the time! It drives me crazy. People always talk for me because I'm always too slow to respond. I'm not implying that we're slow people but social anxiety can definitely play an interfering factor in how fast we answer on-the-spot questions. Sometimes I feel like they all see me as a mentally challenged individual and that is why they talk for me.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Oh God yes! This happens to me all the time! It drives me crazy. People always talk for me because I'm always too slow to respond. I'm not implying that we're slow people but social anxiety can definitely play an interfering factor in how fast we answer on-the-spot questions. Sometimes I feel like they all see me as mentally challenged individual and that is why they talk for me. -_-

Haha Yeah I mean it feels like time stops sometimes but really someone maybe just frozen for a response... then i think wait i shall respond... and someone goes rawr and tramples over my almost response. I guess it's a good thing so the person doesn't feel ignored.

 

[Feathers]

hah! This (behavior described in initial post) might prompt me to order something I might not even want out of purpose!! lol!! gah!!

seriously, it would really frustrate me!!

with parents, I'm usually able to be pretty vocal, in some other settings I may have had trouble to figure out what I think or want to say... and then formulating it or figuring out what to do...

Well, maybe you could benefit from articles/books/course/workshop on assertiveness - or your mum on listening or such??

My mum can be pretty vocal and outspoken/confident too, so my feelings are with you... ((hugz))

 

[Thelema]

You have to be out on your own more often. That way you'll have to speak up for yourself and it won't feel weird.

You're using other people as a crutch (like we all do with SP) and now it's slowing you down.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Sounds to me like you're just very passive.

I let my mom talk for me when I'm having a panic attack or when it's something embarrassing that I just don't want to say. If she weren't there though- I'd say it myself.
I am good at verbalizing when I need to because of my history in theater.
I can think of what I need to say as if it's a script.

Do you ever speak for yourself when you need to or do you prefer to avoid saying anything at all?
There could be many causes for this type of behavior, so I'm not sure what to suggest you try.

I guess the first step is figuring out why you feel you can't say anything.
Try writing down exactly how you are feeling and what you are thinking in the moment's before you're asked a question.
You might realize something about yourself that you haven't noticed before!

 

[Kinetik]

My dad does the same thing at restaurants, which is especially strange now that I'm pushing 30. I can't order even if I want to - the server goes to take his order first (because he's older) and he'll order his dish and mine in the same breath. He knows what to order for me because we usually talk about what we're going to get while looking over the menu beforehand. But I see it more as something he needs to grow out of. A lot of parents view their kids as young and helpless no matter what age they get to - almost as if time freezes when it comes to their children.

 

[Phoenixx]

Wonder why she stopped randomly? Sometimes my mom will say "okay ask for bread or chopsticks, you can do it" and it's a preplanned asking for something so I have my chance lol.

^ I have a feeling it had to do with the fact I turned 18. Guess she figured I wasn't a child anymore and could speak for myself.

I could speak for myself before that, but she always jumped in. Guess I won't totally complain, as I didn't always mind it.