I have never had a girlfriend in my life

Johno

Johno

Well-known member
Being in a relationship is overrated. There are arguments both ways. Like it has been said. Singles want to be couples. Couples want to be singles. Pro's and con's on both sides. I say just follow your passion. If it happens then great. If not continue on with your passions. Just focus on what you want. Be selfish for a change. If it's meant to be it will be.

Cheers
 
HH

HH

Well-known member
SqueakyGibson said:
I can't actually remember if I've already replied to one of these subjects already. In case I haven't:

I'm 27 and have never had a girlfriend, had sex, or even kissed.

In my teenage years it was because I was a sad lonely fat loser. In my university years it was because the social phobia was setting in, I had no socia skills, and I'd given up hope of ever trying to be more than friends with women. After univeristy I just had no social life at all - barely ever left the house - and therefore just didn't have the means to ever be in the same room as a woman.

I'm really a 12 year old boy, in terms of experience. Waiting for my first kiss. Excited, but also scared and intimidated by girls, a species I have not yet had the social experience to understand.

As a 27 year old man I doubt I could ever provide anything - emotionally or physically - that a woman wants from a man. I'm a scared little boy with no experience. If I went on a date with a woman my age, she'd have to choose where we're going, drive us there, take the lead every step of the way because I don't know how social places work; then if the amazing happens and she wants to kiss me, she'll get the inept first-time kiss a 12 year old would give her.

So I'm pretty sure I'm never going to do that. Yet I have a sex drive and a love of women. Torture.
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This is me to a t, are we related :D the only difference is that i'am a year older. I often think about what i'd do if i was to go on a date, how i would go about it-probably be a complete nervous wreak. I think the only time a girl has ever showed interest in me was at secondary school (about 13 years ago now) and i did nothing about because i was in love with someone else-who i still think about today and i was super shy, still am.
I need to break this cycle of negative thoughts i think. When i see a nice girl i imediately think-why would she go out with me? what have i got to offer? What will i say when she asks me about previous relationships? Its messed up. Another lonely soul here then :cry: Glad to see i'm not the only one
 
alltoomuch

alltoomuch

Active member
You can add me to the list. I'm 29 and never had a girlfriend. I didn't think there would be so many others in the same situation.

Others seem to be able to move from one relationship to another, almost like moving house. I can't understand that, I wouldn't continue seeing someone if didn't think there was some long term potential there.

Perhaps thats the problem, maybe we put too much weight on a relationship. I also have a problem letting people get close to me personally. I don't think anyone I know really knows what I'm really like.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
LifelessVoid said:
I actually get mad just seeing people together, as a couple, (ESPECIALLY) interracial relationships, etc.
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Hi, if I may ask; why especially interracial relationships?

As for me, I'm 31 and never had a date or gf either.
 
Yer_Blues

Yer_Blues

Member
Falcon said:
Wow I thought I was the only one. I am 27 and have never had a girlfriend or been on a date. It is so relieving to hear you guys talking about things that I have often thought about, like feeling like I am letting down my parents. Until a year or two ago, I didnt even want a girlfriend or friends (which I dont have either), but recently I have started thinking I might like some companionship. But now I am completely lost, as to how to meet people, how to start a converstaion, or even what people do on a date? Needless to say I have never been dancing or kissed a girl or anything, LOL. I can see all of that being big hurdles. I actually wish I didnt feel the need for friends or a girlfriend, like a few years ago. I dunno why I have changed. Well Its more than a month since your post so lets hope you have had some luck in your goals, whatever they may be :D
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That's freaky. You've listed exactly my situation, EXACTLY! Well except I am 29. I didn't want friends or a girlfriend and was happy without either. Recently I've started wanting both and that's when I get really depressed, you start realising what you have missed out on.
 
tommydog

tommydog

Well-known member
hey nandito that was a brilliant post man thanks for taking the time to put all that together.

I got a laugh a couple of times and you wernt even trying. People appreciate that kind of raw honesty, that combined with the fact that your obviously foreign, its just, i dunno, funny, in a good way. Good for you you sounds like your doing well and that your driven, thats more than can be said for alot of people unfortunatly. This girl your talking to out the moment sounds really good. Someone that understands, has the same interests as you, probably has a similar history, sounds like a match made in heaven.

There are times in my life were i feel as though its easier to try and get satisfaction by burying myself in some project or hobby than keep persisting with social things that i have trouble with, and it sounds as though thats what you do aswell so i can really relate to that.

Best of luck to you.
 
Abalone

Abalone

Active member
It seems that women make allowing you into a relationship totally contingent upon your social skills. So the SP males here will just have to lead a lonely life unless we somehow become able to play by their rules.
 
Kien

Kien

Well-known member
Uhm are these"man never had woman" threads so common? Does people really have some great desire for love or what?? And how come there are never any "woman never had man" threads?
 
Unfufilled101

Unfufilled101

Member
I got you all beat i think, im 20 and have never had a real friend until last year let alone a boy/girl friend. And i'm not talking about people you're aqquainted with either through work, school, whatever. People you actually hang out with and do stuff with, talk to on the phone visit each others, sleep overs whatever. I met my friend 2years ago got her number last year and she visited me 4 the first time twice so far this year.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
A friend to me is someone you can rely on, and have frequent contact with.. share your problems with etc..
 
jessica41481

jessica41481

Active member
wow this cracked me up alot cause i saw myself

im new to this whole forum thing. and im 26 andhavent been on a date in like 4 years. a lot of it is becuase i lock myself in the house. most guys would say im attractive, i guess, but i dont think im as cute as i used to be ahahah i used to date a lot in my earlier twenties, and then as i got older i got dissappointed with myself, and felt others would judge me the same way. (dont be surprised if your a great catch) and i never had a serious relationship, but who cares. i know im capable of having one.

but now this past year i realized, i do not regret locking myself in the house in some ways. becuase im a different person. and i got to know myself. 4 years ago i was a complete ass, and would have chose the wrong person. so sometimes its for the best. i spared myself from a lot of useless drama. dude if your 31 hey that is the great age to start. ahah. i think the older ones are a lot more attractive only becuase they know themselves very well, even if you have SA. no offense to the young dudes on here lol.

anyhoo, i noticed people with SA are really big thinkers and a lot of them are smart, but beat themselves up too much. i dont believe you have to like throw yourself out there to find the right person. but i also know you cant just sit in your house either. theirs the delima. i have the same problem too. i probably only leave the house like three times a week, and that is being around a large group.

i also recently learned that not all people want someone who is really that socially out going. i mean i struggle with SA and becuase i was comfortable around one guy, another guy that i did like tossed my ass cause he thought i was too out going. what heck is that about? lol i cant win! just really think about what you want in a person. i spent the past 4 years putting a lot of thought becuase i was soooo dumb. but im confident that he is out there somewhere lolol. anyhoo, SA doesnt make you unattractive. crap, i think guys that are very out going are too hard to keep up with sometimes.
 
nhen

nhen

Active member
I don't think it's the shyness that people, particularly women, find unattractive. I've seen lots of shy guys get plenty of girls. I think that SPs are also quite passive, which women almost always find unattractive.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
nhen said:
I don't think it's the shyness that people, particularly women, find unattractive. I've seen lots of shy guys get plenty of girls. I think that SPs are also quite passive, which women almost always find unattractive.
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Strange; I'm attracted to shy girls, certainly not the outgoing ones.
 
Day_Tripper

Day_Tripper

1
Argamemnon said:
nhen said:
I don't think it's the shyness that people, particularly women, find unattractive. I've seen lots of shy guys get plenty of girls. I think that SPs are also quite passive, which women almost always find unattractive.
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Strange; I'm attracted to shy girls, certainly not the outgoing ones.
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But that's totally different. It's been proven that men react much stronger to the way a woman looks, and that women react towards a guy's personality. That's why it's almost always the same girls guys think are hot, but if you have the right personality traits, any average looking guy can get plenty of girls. I wish I could get attracted to a girl just by her personality, but nope, I only wanna go out with the ones who I'm physically attracted to. That's just nature.
 
kyle

kyle

Banned
I was really shy around girls until I took Nardil at 16. Even then, I didn't know what they wanted until 21.
 
theman

theman

Well-known member
rko

Cold fury is right - I also loved the book WITHOUT EMBARRASSMENT - very helpful stuff. Lots of helpful ideas on toxic shame (which you sound like you've got a case of) and moving forward without apology. I just like the title - used to have it on my cellular phone screen background to remind me not to feel embarrassed about anything I tried.
 
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