I have never had a girlfriend in my life

[Feathers]

I dont think that is true,they might be trying to be nice or whatever reason,but we definetely know they wont go for those guys,for example go to the thread:would you date younger or older people,you will see that male inexperience is very frowned upon.

Oh gosh, this is very relative again: older very experienced women may expect some degree of experience, especially if they're the very sociable outgoing type...
Also check if a poster was trying to comfort (or flirt with) an older and more experienced guy maybe?? (no I'm not talking about you coyote - or maybe I am?? )

Younger and/or less experienced and maybe more understanding women (and/or those in special circumstances that may make them less 'picky') may have different wishes/requirements....

So it's all about the demographics...

Not all women will fall for the same guy, a friend even specifically did NOT want to date 'a rich guy' cause 'he'd be too fussy' (and would make fuss over eating with which fork etc.)
(Yeah, she was asked out by one. These things happen.)

 

[userremoved]

I dont think that is true,they might be trying to be nice or whatever reason,but we definetely know they wont go for those guys,for example go to the thread:would you date younger or older people,you will see that male inexperience is very frowned upon.

I dont think so, they weren't necessarily the type of girls to pull punches, especially when it comes to guys. Which is why I asked them and not the "i want to make him feel better" types. Plus I didnt say it was me I was asking for. A lot of people dont know about my personal problems. Heck I was looking at those facebook questions where one asked if it thought I was a virgin and she answered "no". Also when it comes down to it, if Im trying to date a girl, the last thing Im going to tell her about is any shortcomings I have. Everyone on this site has seen the worst of me, but people in the world aren't going to see that, unless I want to purposely become a social pariah.

How many women you talk to has a lot more to do with your success rate than, well, probably anything. It's worse than useless to spend your time fretting over what you don't have to offer. I can easily come up with numerous reasons why other men are better candidates than myself

Thats exactly my point. Im going to be very honest and say that I've only expressed obvious interest in one girl this whole year. Yes one. And I should've known it was a waste of time since she stood me up for lunch. Anyways after the rejection I went back into my "i dont need women" phase and became antisocial. But if I had reacted more like a confident guy, and just moved on, then maybe I would have gotten a yes eventually from someone else. I mean, c'mon, Im not the cream of the crop when it comes to men, but Im not the freakin Anti Christ. At least I dont think I am. But my point is, how many do you actually try to talk to?

 

[AGR]

I dont think so, they weren't necessarily the type of girls to pull punches, especially when it comes to guys. Which is why I asked them and not the "i want to make him feel better" types. Plus I didnt say it was me I was asking for. A lot of people dont know about my personal problems. Heck I was looking at those facebook questions where one asked if it thought I was a virgin and she answered "no". Also when it comes down to it, if Im trying to date a girl, the last thing Im going to tell her about is any shortcomings I have. Everyone on this site has seen the worst of me, but people in the world aren't going to see that, unless I want to purposely become a social pariah.

Well I didnt mean being nice necessarily to you,but trying to pass the image that they are nice/good,so do those girls actually go to/date the inexperienced guys?

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I've never a girlfriend either! Woohoo (I think; maybe I'm just going insane)! I couldn't approach a girl to save my life! Girls won't even look at me down here at college; they usually either look down, away, or don't even acknowledge me. It's really frustrating because I try to make eye contact and smile at them but they won't look at me. Am I really that hideous that they don't even want to look at me? I guess girls don't want anything to do with me. Even if I did get one, I'm not sure if I could keep it stable. I don't have a job, a car, and I don't have anything to contribute to a relationship. Being as dense as a black hole doesn't really help matters::! Man, this is frustrating!

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

At least I dont think I am. But my point is, how many do you actually try to talk to?

In general, not me personally, right? It's just a matter of greater numbers = higher probability of making a connection. And yeah, the more girls you talk to, the more you're likely to learn about how to talk to girls. Funny how that works out.

Who are these chicks you're talking to about what women want? It sounds almost like random strangers. You're probably better off asking that chick who's into rubber sandwiches and butter.

 

[Felgen]

I dont think that is true,they might be trying to be nice or whatever reason,but we definetely know they wont go for those guys,for example go to the thread:would you date younger or older people,you will see that male inexperience is very frowned upon.

The very reason why a lot of people tend to use so-callled 'practice girls' is because inexperience is seen as worse than having AIDS thanks to popular culture.

the vast majority of all girls who say that virginity isn't that much of a big deal, would probably say "yeah... i'm like... totally not into virgin kind of guys" if they were faced with an attractive, yet inexperienced man.

 

[userremoved]

Well I didnt mean being nice necessarily to you,but trying to pass the image that they are nice/good,so do those girls actually go to/date the inexperienced guys?

Well she said she took her BF virginity. Granted he wasnt a 30 year old virgin like me, but like I said, I didnt put myself into the equation. Also like I said, if Im gonna ask a girl out and she doesnt already know I have problems, Im not gonna be like "Hey...Im almost 30 and a virgin. I know absolutely nothing about women and have never even so much as kissed one really. I get really depressed and moody a lot and I have a tremendous amount of porn. And if you want someone outgoing, thats not me because Im extremely shy at least until I've know you for about a week. So...can I take you out to dinner?" Im sure you know thats not gonna work out, in fact I'd probably get maced. However there are dudes out there who have issues and still get dates, why? Because they keep those issues to themselves haha.

Who are these chicks you're talking to about what women want? It sounds almost like random strangers. You're probably better off asking that chick who's into rubber sandwiches and butter.

They were two girls I was studying for my Botany test with. I sit near them in class so I've carried dialogue with them enough to be comfortable enough to ask that sort of question. I wouldnt have the balls to ask a random stranger that.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

The very reason why a lot of people tend to use so-callled 'practice girls' is because inexperience is seen as worse than having AIDS thanks to popular culture.

Refresh me on the concept of a practice girl, please.

 

[Tiercel]

Refresh me on the concept of a practice girl, please.

A practice girl is a lot like a practice amp. Both allow you to work on your technique without going deaf.

 

[Felgen]

Personally speaking, I'd rather date an inexperienced guy than a guy who used a 'practice girl'.

Also, I have to say I wouldn't be at all fazed in dating a guy who was a virgin. I would honestly find it no problem. You may worry that you lack experience, but its your personal history we're speaking about here. It's nobody else's business whether or not you've done the deed or not. You shouldn't even have to tell anybody. I think you only need to tell people if there's a disease involved or something like that. A good girlfriend shouldn't mind.
Secondly, with the availability of things like 'practice girls' rolleyes EVERYBODY has the capability to lose their virginity. If you haven't then it could arguably just suggest that you have other hobbies and aren't just after one thing

I'm not a virgin or anything; I don't have any problems getting laid, but on the other hand, finding the right girl is extremely difficult (I was extremely unhappy with my only serious relationship). If I was a virgin, though, the right girl (who may have been perfectly suited for me in every other way) might shun me for being one.

Everyone does not have the capability of losing their virginity. There are plenty of unattractive women who think they're extremely sexy just because they get hit on by insecure men and who (because of this) think that only the best looking guys are good enough.

 

[Felgen]

Well if she did, that wouldn't say a lot about her would it?
Honestly though, I don't know of any girl that would shun a guy for being a virgin. I know everybody is different, but my perception alone shows that it's not as clear-cut as you guys seem to think.

It would say more about the world we live in and the year 2011 than it would about her.

Of course they have the capability to lose their virginity. If people want it bad enough, they can get it. It's not really an achievement to lose your virginity anymore, unless its with somebody you really love. In which case its called 'making love' and that's the more difficult thing to find.

There's always prostitution, but it isn't worth the risk

Wow. Judgmental much??

I'm not passing judgements. There are plenty of ugly guys who think they're extremely hot just because they were with the cool crowd in their teens and thus got laid "back then" as well.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Sorry, but it is judgmental. First, you are assuming that these guys are insecure. Then you are talking about 'ugly' guys and 'unattractive' females? Perhaps the 'ugly guys' you speak of were in the cool crowd because they had a good personality? Or does the fact they're 'ugly', mean they shouldn't be successful with women?

I've noticed a certain attitude amongst some guys (and I'm not accusing Felgen of being one of these guys, btw) that they are entitled to a girlfriend, and not only that but to a girlfriend who is generally considered attractive by other males. ie. something of a trophy that will make other guys envious. However, should these guys decide to 'practice' on 'lesser' girls, and one of those girls has the nerve to reject them (because maybe *she* feels entitled to someone better looking) then she's labelled a stuck up b****. Hmmm.

 

[userremoved]

Losing my virginity isn't important enough to start using practice women. Like I told a close friend, sex isn't really the deal, its just feeling normal. If what was considered normal was to wait until marriage, then the issue would never cross my mind. But paying for it or using girls with low self esteem as practice would probably put me in the category of being abusive and I have enough mistakes to regret without that. Besides, if I were to die tomorrow, none of this **** would matter anyways. In life some people may have it better than other, but in death all are equal. Its the only fairness that exists. Sorry if I just got very morbid

 

[Felgen]

Fair point.
But still, not all girls are like that.

The vast majority of all people (regardless of gender, race, income etc.) are a product of their surroundings.

I didn't really mean that. I was referring more to things like swingers clubs or websites in which people advertise for no-strings sex. I'm sure if you went into any old nightclub looking for no-strings sex, you could probably find it.

First of all, one-night stands are overrated. While they can feel good, plenty of stuff feels better. Back when I was a 20 year old late bloomer virgin, I thought that I'd die a happy man if I could just lose "it", but sex doesn't mean much if I don't love the girl. Second, there are no Norwegians on Craig's list.

Third, it's not the lack of sex that's bothering me, but the lack of intimacy. I get plenty of sexual offers, but very few are interested in a serious relationship with me. I'm not looking for pity or anything and I'm fully aware of the fact that I need to resolve some issues before trying for a new relationship.

Sorry, but it is judgmental. First, you are assuming that these guys are insecure. Then you are talking about 'ugly' guys and 'unattractive' females? Perhaps the 'ugly guys' you speak of were in the cool crowd because they had a good personality? Or does the fact they're 'ugly', mean they shouldn't be successful with women?

In high school and middle school, the ugly guys who were cool were so because they dressed and acted like "gangstas", despite coming from upper-class or upper-middle-class families.

I'm not saying that anyone deserves to go through life-long celibacy or that anyone's entitled to f*ck or to get married. You've missed my point.

 

[userremoved]

Some girls can be guilty of that too. Though not so much at this age. More late teens.
But the whole thing about practicing on lesser people is just... sad to be honest. I'd rather go with someone who was just content enough with themselves to wait for the right person



Well, what is normal? Heh. Pips I know what you mean in that society makes it out to seem as though anyone who is a virgin beyond 21 is 'not normal'. However, don't forget that out of that non-virgin masse, a significant amount will have only ever had sex for self-gratifying reasons, or because they felt the pressure from society to lose it.
Does that really make them any better than you? Of course it doesn't. Actually, I think the ability to hold on to your virginity and resist the pressure of society is far more commendable.

I'm ashamed to admit that I was somebody who bowed in to the pressure. I lost my virginity when I was 17 but didn't make love until I was 20. I wish I'd just waited until I was 20. I'm embarrassed of the fact I gave in to peer pressure.

Waiting? Who said I was waiting? I have social anxiety. Meaning that when ever I try to talk to a girl Im interested in I choke up and my brain stops working. Im not a virgin because Im endowed with some amazing ability to resist sexual urges or the pressure of society. Thats what you're missing here about all of us. Thats not normal. And lets say I wanted to make love before I just had random sexual encounters, like you said you wished you'd done. How am I supposed to do that when my brain reboots every time I try an start a dialogue with a woman? Its not the same with guys. Im not gonna be just chilling somewhere and have girls waltz up on me and try to get me out of my pants. So no amount of peer pressure will get a socially phobic man laid. Period

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Some girls can be guilty of that too. Though not so much at this age. More late teens.

Being a guy myself, I've probably experienced the guy reaction more than the girl's, so maybe that skews my perspective a bit. I have found in general that girls seem to be more accepting when a guy just doesn't feel that way about them though. Guys tend to take it much more personally in my experience.

 

[doesit]

same here 25 and never had a girlfriend,but more importantly,i wouldn't even really care for it,as the main problem now is our society,friends and family,who always have an urge to remind you that being single is not an option or even sad and etc, as nowadays all world sees life,you turn 20 you have to find that someone settle down make family,find a job make a career and enjoy your life when you retire sad but true.

 

[megalon]

It's not really an achievement to lose your virginity anymore.

Sorry, couldn't resist this one.

Waiting? Who said I was waiting? I have social anxiety. Meaning that when ever I try to talk to a girl I'm interested in I choke up and my brain stops working. Im not a virgin because I'm endowed with some amazing ability to resist sexual urges or the pressure of society. That's what you're missing here about all of us. That's not normal. And lets say I wanted to make love before I just had random sexual encounters, like you said you wished you'd done. How am I supposed to do that when my brain reboots every time I try an start a dialogue with a woman? It's not the same with guys. I'm not gonna be just chilling somewhere and have girls waltz up on me and try to get me out of my pants. So no amount of peer pressure will get a socially phobic man laid. Period

Agreed 100% I think most of us guys on here are not virgins because we're "waiting for someone special". I personally don't attach any importance to the first time and don't care too much who it's with. I'd like to get to know the girl first only for the sake of having someone who understands me so I don't have to be so embarrassed about my obvious inexperience.
Many us are more than just sexually inexperienced, we're inexperienced with all aspects of a relationship. I think the argument of whether girls prefer experienced or inexperienced seems irrelevant in that context. Even if the girl was accepting of inexperience, that same inexperience would prevent the relationship from starting in the first place, because we didn't learn how relationships work when we were teenagers like everyone else did.

 

[AGR]

Well she said she took her BF virginity. Granted he wasnt a 30 year old virgin like me, but like I said, I didnt put myself into the equation. Also like I said, if Im gonna ask a girl out and she doesnt already know I have problems, Im not gonna be like "Hey...Im almost 30 and a virgin. I know absolutely nothing about women and have never even so much as kissed one really. I get really depressed and moody a lot and I have a tremendous amount of porn. And if you want someone outgoing, thats not me because Im extremely shy at least until I've know you for about a week. So...can I take you out to dinner?" Im sure you know thats not gonna work out, in fact I'd probably get maced. However there are dudes out there who have issues and still get dates, why? Because they keep those issues to themselves haha.

You dont need to tell,if you are around people for a long time they can tell,for example me,I am working in this place for almost 2 years,never showed up with a girl,it gets kind of awkward sometimes when they talk about girls with me,they know it,I even had comments of people,trying to be funny or not,that I was a masturbator,virgin,aparently my face tells that,but it stopped,because the people who did that were fired,for other reasons.

Without talking about the way you kiss,have sex,dont know how to "date",maybe they will think you are bad at it,but a lot of people can tell.

 

[userremoved]

Sorry, couldn't resist this one.

69 gamerscore, thats pretty darn good.