I finally open up and I get played. Nice :(

[Meggy0001]

I been seeing this guy for the past weeks now. He lives his phone at mine yesterday.
Me being my weird, anxious and paranoid self I go through his facebook (yes I know I shouldn't have, I get annoyed when my people do this) I went through it because I don't trust people at all and I thought all the stuff he was telling me was bull and I was right
Turns out his like seeing over like 10 girls as well as me
I feel dumb and used and stupid for actually believing that he liked me and wanted to know me
This is why I avoid people, they suck and I always get hurt. meh
His out of town till Saturday and he doesn't know I know, how do I handle this. if I do this in person it will go all wrong I cant communicate at all when it has a lot of emotions involved I will burst into tears or go full on angry just because I will be nervous. I am not to bothered bout him to be honest. I don't like people quickly I have massive wall around me and I don't let it down for anyone for a very very very long time so I am not like sad sad
Just disappointed that the first guy I try to know and have opened up to the most was just using me :sad: knowing me I am gonna avoid guys for a while now lol
Anyhoo after all that my question was what should I say? we are not official or anything and I know he will bring that up but I just want him gone without the drama. I feel crap about going though his phone.
I feel like one of those phsyco girls you find on the Jeremy kyle show or something lol

Sorry this is longer than I wanted

 

[Odo]

I would just send him an email telling him where he can pick up his phone and giving a brief explanation as to why he's never going to see you again. If he responds, don't respond back. Don't even put yourself through a real-life confrontation, and don't let on that you actually feel anything, no matter how sad you are.

Then you can start to forget about it.

That's usually the best way to handle these kinds of things, I think.

 

[S_Spartan]

How does he have time for 11 girlfriends?

 

[MikeyC]

we are not official or anything

This one kind of jumped out here. You're not officially dating, so maybe he doesn't think it's wrong to talk to other girls. Is he "official" with any of the other ten girls he's talking to?

Spartan is right: how on earth can he handle 11 girlfriends, if he really is a cheater? That's absurd.

 

[jaim38]

Nah, I don't think you're psycho or paranoid. In the end you were right to be suspicious. Look at the bright side, now you have gained more experience and won't be the naive, trusting girl you once were.

Anyhoo after all that my question was what should I say? we are not official or anything and I know he will bring that up but I just want him gone without the drama. I feel crap about going though his phone.

You should say something like "I don't think you were serious the whole time, so it won't work out between us both" when ou give him back the phone. I don't know why you're seeing him even though you guys are not officially dating.

 

[skins]

take the numbers of all the others down, flush the phone down the toilet, tell him you never want to see him again, then if he objects to anything tell him you will inform all the other girls of his ways. amen.

 

[Feathers]

Skins, lol!! flushing down phones is not exo-friendly, otherwise, interesting idea!!
(You can sell or donate his phone somewhere??)

I don't know from Meggy's post if he was just talking to all these girls or in fact cheating, that would be good to know before taking any course of action.

 

[Meggy0001]

I would just send him an email telling him where he can pick up his phone and giving a brief explanation as to why he's never going to see you again. If he responds, don't respond back. Don't even put yourself through a real-life confrontation, and don't let on that you actually feel anything, no matter how sad you are.

Then you can start to forget about it.

That's usually the best way to handle these kinds of things, I think.

Yeah think this is exactly what I am going to do.

 

[Meggy0001]

This one kind of jumped out here. You're not officially dating, so maybe he doesn't think it's wrong to talk to other girls. Is he "official" with any of the other ten girls he's talking to?

Spartan is right: how on earth can he handle 11 girlfriends, if he really is a cheater? That's absurd.

He has been telling me I am the only one and blah and can see a relationship coming from this and stuff so I feel lied to more than anything. Yeah when we first met he had a girlfriend which I just found out about :/

Yeah it is absurd mg:

I hate confrontation and hate drama. This is making me anxious and I cant stand it. People are hard work

 

[Remus]

Cut all ties and move on, as hard as that will be. Players will say and do anything to keep playing the game.

Though....If I want to get even, I'd send a joint message to all 11 girls at once on facebook on his account, explaining what you found out.

 

[goblin]

I'm sorry your date turned out this way. Players like this are kind of hard to avoid because they're so prolific (just one of these guys is messing around with 10+ women and their feelings!), but they're not the norm. Just one of the less savory obstacles to be navigated when trying to meet someone genuine.

If what someone's saying is setting off your bull-radar... your instinct might be right!

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm sorry your date turned out this way. Players like this are kind of hard to avoid because they're so prolific (just one of these guys is messing around with 10+ women and their feelings!), but they're not the norm.

They aren't the norm, no.

Unfortunately, they are unusually good at getting someone who is shy and introverted to open up and let their guard down.

Socially skilled people who are good at seduction (be they male or female) are often the introduction to relationship-type things for many reclusive sorts.

It's the way of the world; not much can be done. :idontknow:

 

[Dreamseller]

Please don't assume all guys are like that...we aren't

You don't have to let him know you looked on his phone and that that is the reason as to why you are breaking up. As others have said, just go with something like "It's not working out, let's just go our separate ways"