I Feel Like I'm Losing It

[206Raider]

I just have to vent some things. I know my mood on here has been up and down lately and i'm sorry for flipping out. I have a lot of stresses, I got school coming up, I feel like I've lost a bunch of friends and I just get worse everyday, my little brother has been tooken away from my mom becuase my stepdad made things up to the court just so he can get money and my little brother doesn't like him either ebcuase he doesn't take care of him becuase he is a snake of a man, and I've always hated him, and I want to beat the **** out of him. My sister was the closest to me and that relationship seemed to have disappeared completely after we got into a fight, it's been a year with minimal contact and she is pregnant again on welfare looking for help and there is nothing I can do. I've been on edge worse than ever though and I suppresed a lot of feeling about all those things and then some becuase I don't like looking weak to anybody, I was so close to laying my brother out for asking questions the other day and it was for no good reason, they weren't even personal. I just want to escape, but there is no where to go, in reality I just want to get away from myself and my thoughts but it's impossible. I'm tired of the same ****, I wake up and try to do the things that keep you positive but it feels like a joke (and it's not funny anymore) becuase it doesn't seem to lead anywhere except a full circle. I wake up and I always wish I hadn't becuase my dreams are much better than my reality. I guess I come here for solitude to get away from stresses but even so this places stresses me too and I have no freakin clue what I'm supposed to do? Keep trying? For what? So I can act like I'm happy at school or work when I'm in misery the whole time, it doesn't sound cool, all my SA does is tell me I'm not good enough or I'm going to make a fool out of myself when I'm out and about. Thanks to those who took the time to listen to me whine and everybody I've met on this site has been awesome, I just feel alone and when I woke up today I had this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and I'm tired of fighting it everyday to feel better, I'm worn out.

 

[iamthenra]

I just have to vent some things. I know my mood on here has been up and down lately and i'm sorry for flipping out. I have a lot of stresses, I got school coming up, I feel like I've lost a bunch of friends and I just get worse everyday, my little brother has been tooken away from my mom becuase my stepdad made things up to the court just so he can get money and my little brother doesn't like him either ebcuase he doesn't take care of him becuase he is a snake of a man, and I've always hated him, and I want to beat the **** out of him. My sister was the closest to me and that relationship seemed to have disappeared completely after we got into a fight, it's been a year with minimal contact and she is pregnant again on welfare looking for help and there is nothing I can do. I've been on edge worse than ever though and I suppresed a lot of feeling about all those things and then some becuase I don't like looking weak to anybody, I was so close to laying my brother out for asking questions the other day and it was for no good reason, they weren't even personal. I just want to escape, but there is no where to go, in reality I just want to get away from myself and my thoughts but it's impossible. I'm tired of the same ****, I wake up and try to do the things that keep you positive but it feels like a joke (and it's not funny anymore) becuase it doesn't seem to lead anywhere except a full circle. I wake up and I always wish I hadn't becuase my dreams are much better than my reality. I guess I come here for solitude to get away from stresses but even so this places stresses me too and I have no freakin clue what I'm supposed to do? Keep trying? For what? So I can act like I'm happy at school or work when I'm in misery the whole time, it doesn't sound cool, all my SA does is tell me I'm not good enough or I'm going to make a fool out of myself when I'm out and about. Thanks to those who took the time to listen to me whine and everybody I've met on this site has been awesome, I just feel alone and when I woke up today I had this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and I'm tired of fighting it everyday to feel better, I'm worn out.

Dude, I hear ya and I understand completely! I know exactly what you mean about once having others you could talk to and be close to, and then having them leave, break communications with you and such... It isn't easy to cope and to keep on going through things like this especially when you feel alone, isolated, and so stressed out you could scream... I don't have wisdom or anything of value to say, other than I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm sorry you are feeling this way too... Chin up and hang in there!

 

[AimeeSP]

I want to give some awesome advice, but my mind is having abit of a 'blurgh' moment! :: Just want you to know you can messaage me anytime if you need an online friend.

 

[Krista]

I want to give some awesome advice, but my mind is having abit of a 'blurgh' moment! :: Just want you to know you can messaage me anytime if you need an online friend.

I have those moments frequently! I want so badly to say something helpful but all I go is blank on what to say sometimes. Then I feel completely awful.

 

[gio289]

Yo g, all I can tell you is I know exactly wat u are going thru.I o the same thing with acting like everything is ok. Whichever comes first, lwork or school, look at each as a positive experience. There is no way it can be a negative one. yes you SA may act up, but the point is, you are doin something thas making you happy. Dont give up G, iz just a milestone you have to jump over. We all have our crappy days and times where we feel we need to vent n ****. Just calm yourself and do not look aty the past. Never Look Back. Always look up and forward. Deal them bad days when dem ****z come, and do what you have to do to cope with them. When the good days come back, Have a ****in ball G, and dont look back at the bad.

 

[Hellhound]

I really don't know what to say that could be useful, since I'm having a hard time being possitive lately... The only thing I could offer you is to PM me whenever you're feeling down, if you want of course... and if it helps

 

[206Raider]

Thanks ya'll, I really didn't expect replies or people to give me some mind blowing advice, I just felt the need to vent, I got a lot of pent up feelings that I wanted to let out somehow. All of you help though and cheer me up! I'm here for any of you if your going through troubles, actually it's easier to help others than myself.

 

[Silvox Black]

Your pain is my pain. While I may not feel things in such a strong magnitude as you, I can relate to having a sense of complete pointlessness to rising each morning. I wonder, "Why must I rise and greet the new day when every living thing mocks me?" Still, there must be someone or something you can dedicate your life to living for. You say you have a younger brother, yes? If you do not wish to live for yourself, is it possible and honorable to say that you would live for him?

 

[Lorraine Manca]

there's an expression i hear alot at church, "god never gives you more than you can handle". bull****! im sorry things have been rough.i think i know exactly what you mean. we all have to have faith that our efforts will make things better in the future. there's no way to know it will pay off, so you have to believe it will, and its so hard to believe in anything, because you have to trust blindly. its really hard