I can't help myself but wonder

Roman Legion

Roman Legion

Well-known member
I guess my POF profile is crap, could use some female critque.

Codex1 - POF

I only get 1 message every 4-6 months and it's never a single complete sentence, but rather something along the lines of—"how r u?"and when I give a reply to that one word, two letter attempt at a sentence, I never hear anything back. I respond to everyone I get a letter from despite 99% of them being kind of on the heavy side and nothing in their profiles hint we have anything at all in common. Women on POF are always in search of 'country boys' so I added that disclaimer that I am most certainly not one at the end of my profile. I first went on there being 100% brutally honest about myself, I haven't lied, but I toned down the brutality to self-truth it originally had. I have no idea if I'm attractive or not and could deal with someone not being a supermodel; but what I seek is a woman with a brain of her own that isn't some sort of ditzy barbie doll and has the slightest modicum in common with me. I guess that is asking too much, for an independent woman that can be anything other than the living embodiment of a barbie. Going to end this rant, because I'm getting more than a little pissed off just thinking about this.
 
Kat

Kat

Well-known member
Roman Legion said:
I guess my POF profile is crap, could use some female critque.

Codex1 - POF

I only get 1 message every 4-6 months and it's never a single complete sentence, but rather something along the lines of—"how r u?"and when I give a reply to that one word, two letter attempt at a sentence, I never hear anything back. I respond to everyone I get a letter from despite 99% of them being kind of on the heavy side and nothing in their profiles hint we have anything at all in common. Women on POF are always in search of 'country boys' so I added that disclaimer that I am most certainly not one at the end of my profile. I first went on there being 100% brutally honest about myself, I haven't lied, but I toned down the brutality to self-truth it originally had. I have no idea if I'm attractive or not and could deal with someone not being a supermodel; but what I seek is a woman with a brain of her own that isn't some sort of ditzy barbie doll and has the slightest modicum in common with me. I guess that is asking too much, for an independent woman that can be anything other than the living embodiment of a barbie. Going to end this rant, because I'm getting more than a little pissed off just thinking about this.
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Your photos look good. I think the tone in your profile sounds a bit comanding agression and judgements are never inviting I think theres a few things that need to be re worded but maybe not too alternig because that's part of your personality. Maybe instead of saying I am also getting tired of women on dating sites that expect me to do all the communication when that is a two-way street. You could say I like a talkative girl that's easy to converse with. I would also get rid of Also, to give one more bit of information to people reading that actually gives a crap - just another judgemental/cynical statement but other than that it is ok at least you are being up front.
 
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A1621

A1621

Member
Okay, I realize I'm a little late to this party but, just wanted to drop my 2 cents.

I was on POF for about 2-3 months before calling it quits for my own reasons. I had talked to a few people on there .. met up with one of them a couple times. But overall, it wasn't such a great experience. I decided to drop some $ and get the upgraded membership where you can see when a message is read, deleted, etc. I can't tell you how many times I would look at my sent messages to see, "unread/deleted." And it sure pissed me off! I mean, it seemed like all I read from girl's profile was, "Please, actually READ the profile, don't just look at the pics!" Personal note: I ALWAYS read every single word .. because I was looking for the, "total package" so to speak. :p Anyway, they would also complain a lot about guys sending emails like, "Hey, what's up?" or, "Damn, you're hot!" When I sent an email, I would often first go through many, MANY profiles before actually finding someone I was really interested in talking to. Then I would read the profile again, paying closer attention. Only then would I write an email and it was always personalized. I wrote to each girl as an individual, never any of this carbon copy stuff, just change the name. To go to that effort and get, "unread/deleted" .. man after a while I'll tell you .. it gets damned frustrating.

But when I saw it from the girl's perspective, I gained a LITTLE better understanding. 30 messages a month? That's nothing .. 30 a DAY maybe. But then many of those are the pathetic variety, "Hey baby, sup?" ya know? I don't know, I personally got turned off to the whole online dating thing after a while .. completely deleted my profile. Just wasn't the thing for me, I guess. Plus, I wasn't really looking anyway .. just something to do and if I meet someone cool then, great.

Anyway, the thing about POF is you gotta have a stellar profile as well as great emails. Some will read your email but if it's too much like everyone else's, it reads like background noise and gets tossed. Some will see you sent a message and just look at your profile and if they don't like, they delete the email without even reading it. The key, I think is being different .. something out of the ordinary that grabs their attention. A sense of mystery that draws someone to want to know more. I've seen it work.

And I just lost my train of thought so, guess I'll stop here. :p
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
Roman Legion said:
I guess my POF profile is crap, could use some female critque.
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Yeah, that last sentence on your about me has to go.

Guys, if you are angry at women, it shows, and it is not an attractive quality. I understand it is frustrating, but if it gets to that point, perhaps a break from online dating would be good.
 
xDreamseller

xDreamseller

Well-known member
InvisaLady said:
When the attractive, (by men's standards) get an average of 30 messages per week and I can't even get 1, it's a pretty clear statement.
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From the girls I've talked to on there, most (90% region) are guys just straight up asking for sex or linking to pictures of their junk. It's disgusting and mostly done by older men.

Like someone else said, I too flick through dozens of profiles until I find someone that I would genuinely like to meet, based on many things. Profile, music taste, picture etc. I don't know if it's just a problem where I live or with all young women, but if their profile picture is them with alcohol or another guy, it's an immediate no from me. The same goes with the profile. If it is poorly constructed or it's just two lines saying that they like to party every night and are just on here for a laugh, again, it's an immediate no.

After this, there's not many girls left. I then go back, message a few of them, always more than a simple "hey how r u??". I always throw in things from their profile to show I've read it and we share interests etc.

I was lucky enough to get a couple of responses but after that, the messages stopped. I blame the time gap between messages. It's hard to have a conversation, one reply per day. If the website linked your skype/facebook it would really help I feel. I don't want to give the girl my skype on the first couple of messages though, as that seems very forward.

Whoever said that girls approaching guys seems forward and needy...I would love for a girl to approach me! It would show she's really interested, enough to stand out like that. Then again, that's because I'm more into an intellectual type, where I know it wouldn't be a slutty move. (I couldn't date someone that isn't "going anywhere". If you're not at decent uni or a respectable course somewhere...I'm sorry, I just couldn't.)
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
xDreamseller said:
From the girls I've talked to on there, most (90% region) are guys just straight up asking for sex or linking to pictures of their junk. It's disgusting and mostly done by older men.

Like someone else said, I too flick through dozens of profiles until I find someone that I would genuinely like to meet, based on many things. Profile, music taste, picture etc. I don't know if it's just a problem where I live or with all young women, but if their profile picture is them with alcohol or another guy, it's an immediate no from me. The same goes with the profile. If it is poorly constructed or it's just two lines saying that they like to party every night and are just on here for a laugh, again, it's an immediate no.

After this, there's not many girls left. I then go back, message a few of them, always more than a simple "hey how r u??". I always throw in things from their profile to show I've read it and we share interests etc.

I was lucky enough to get a couple of responses but after that, the messages stopped. I blame the time gap between messages. It's hard to have a conversation, one reply per day. If the website linked your skype/facebook it would really help I feel. I don't want to give the girl my skype on the first couple of messages though, as that seems very forward.

Whoever said that girls approaching guys seems forward and needy...I would love for a girl to approach me! It would show she's really interested, enough to stand out like that. Then again, that's because I'm more into an intellectual type, where I know it wouldn't be a slutty move. (I couldn't date someone that isn't "going anywhere". If you're not at decent uni or a respectable course somewhere...I'm sorry, I just couldn't.)
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The link to my profile.
OkCupid | J-The-Mole / 30 / F / Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
Note: no alcohol or other guys and no text speak or short non informative sentences.
I know the first thing I have posted is that I am seeing someone, but I only added that a few days ago, and that is mostly to get the bearded obese stalker off my butt.
I don't know, even before I posted that I never got the obscene messages or any links to pics of guys junk. (that would be a refreshing change) For the first 4 months I only got if I was lucky 2 messages per month of "hey, U wanna chat?' from bearded guys with kids. Sorry 3 strikes and your out buddy.:thumbdown:
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
I can't remove that until I am sure jabba the hairy hutt will leave me alone.
Besides, as I said that has only been up for three days. That is no excuse for 3+ months of crap.
 
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U

user deleted

Guest
I think with dating site profiles the whole cliche 'be yourself' thing really applies. If you're cynical or come across as negative, sure, that may be off-putting to some women but it's better to be honest and upfront rather than try and be a happy-go-lucky optimist.
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Here's a photo of my junk

junkuy.jpg


Would this make others message me? :question:
 
U

user deleted

Guest
InvisaLady said:
Tried it, he keeps opening new accounts.
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Have you explained you aren't interested? And he's still persisting? If he's deterred by thinking you're seeing someone, I'm sure he'll be deterred if you give him a sterner "Not interested".

Failing that, report him to OKCupid, they can IP ban him if he's genuinely harassing you. Not that IP banning is always effective, but it works in many cases.
 
xDreamseller

xDreamseller

Well-known member
coyote said:
^i just sent you picture of my junk - check your visitor messages :ironicsmile:
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Haha, epic.

Hmm, maybe it's not as common a thing with women your age as it is with 18 year olds Invis. Not saying you're old (30 is very much still young!), just guys that do that sort of thing tend to aim it towards 18/19 year olds.

Had a couple of messages from a girl on pof today, but I messaged about 10 different people (some of which were showing up as "online" later in the day) and no replies from any of them. ;(
 
psych

psych

Well-known member
coyote said:
^i just sent you picture of my junk - check your visitor messages :ironicsmile:
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:applause: First good laugh of the day!

Well, I'm pretty sure I just got rejected, again... At least he replied to my text messages. But, every time I try to spend some time with this guy... He's got more important sh*t to do.
& I even lowered my standards, again. :eek:h:
Yes, pursuing men just typically does not work. I think it makes them feel good to reject a female. I think they see me as too butch if I hit on them.
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
psych said:
:applause: First good laugh of the day!

Well, I'm pretty sure I just got rejected, again... At least he replied to my text messages. But, every time I try to spend some time with this guy... He's got more important sh*t to do.
& I even lowered my standards, again. :eek:h:
Yes, pursuing men just typically does not work. I think it makes them feel good to reject a female. I think they see me as too butch if I hit on them.
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Oh, do I feel your pain. It seems to me that a lot of men complain the ladies never contact them first, but get put off if she is the one to make first contact.:kickingmyself:
 
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