I'm not sure if is a mentality problem or my brain is just wired that way, and I don't know if that matters at all. The thing is, I can't deal with uncertainty. In aspects like my professional future, although I know I ca't know for sure what will happen, I know I'm doing my part and that gives me a base of knowledge to make somewhat informed assumptions. But when it comes with my personal life, the uncertainty is overwhelming, as in that aspect what will happen doesn't depends entirely on me, the component of randomness and chance is huge, anything can happen, and it may take any amount of time to happen. I feel that I don't have the tiniest thing to grab from to have a positive attitude towards the future; I don't wanna jump into conclusions but my luck (if such thing exists) isn't very good, but even if good things are as likely to happen as bad things, I can't be optimistic, because I see that as a leap of faith, like I have no reasons to be optimistic (reasons to be pessimistic I can always find).
But more than getting anxious about obsessing with pessimistic outcomes for the future, what I really hate and annoys me is the not knowing what will happen, if I was certain that bad things were going to happen I will be able to prepare for it. And all this stress is emotionally exhausting.
But more than getting anxious about obsessing with pessimistic outcomes for the future, what I really hate and annoys me is the not knowing what will happen, if I was certain that bad things were going to happen I will be able to prepare for it. And all this stress is emotionally exhausting.