I can't deal with uncertainty

[Arthur_Dent]

I'm not sure if is a mentality problem or my brain is just wired that way, and I don't know if that matters at all. The thing is, I can't deal with uncertainty. In aspects like my professional future, although I know I ca't know for sure what will happen, I know I'm doing my part and that gives me a base of knowledge to make somewhat informed assumptions. But when it comes with my personal life, the uncertainty is overwhelming, as in that aspect what will happen doesn't depends entirely on me, the component of randomness and chance is huge, anything can happen, and it may take any amount of time to happen. I feel that I don't have the tiniest thing to grab from to have a positive attitude towards the future; I don't wanna jump into conclusions but my luck (if such thing exists) isn't very good, but even if good things are as likely to happen as bad things, I can't be optimistic, because I see that as a leap of faith, like I have no reasons to be optimistic (reasons to be pessimistic I can always find).

But more than getting anxious about obsessing with pessimistic outcomes for the future, what I really hate and annoys me is the not knowing what will happen, if I was certain that bad things were going to happen I will be able to prepare for it. And all this stress is emotionally exhausting.

 

[twiggle]

Uncertainty is quite scary when you think about it outright. Personally, I don't mind it too much. I quite like it sometimes. Sometimes, knowing scares me more :: Uncertainty means anything can happen - could be bad, but could also be good. Sometimes the various components of randomness will work in a way you hope for, other times they might not.

There's no finite way around it. It's best just to live in the moment if you can, and take each day as it comes, rather than speculate too much on what may or may not happen later.

 

[Kinetik]

I'm having this exact problem lately. There are so many aspects of my future hanging in the balance as I type this. I'm finding it hard to cope with. I want to let go and trust the universe, my mind knows that I should, but my heart is heavy with the knowledge of what can potentially go wrong. I wish I had wise words for you, but perhaps it's comforting to know that others are feeling exactly what you're feeling, at the same time that you're going through it.

 

[coyote]

the future is entirely dependent on what happens in the present

not on what we think might occur

staying in the present and focusing on what we're doing right now does two things

it takes our mind off of thinking about the uncertainty

and it serves to create the future itself

 

[OceanMist]

All we have is the present because we can't travel to the future or past.

I think it helps to accept death and realize how meaningless life is. What happens if we screw up, we die? That's inevitable anyway.

 

[Feathers]

I've had trouble dealing with uncertainty too...

I think we are living in interesting - yet somewhat challenging times, so this isn't surprising...

A lot of people worldwide seem to be living in uncertainty... we are more interconnected than ever as a 'global village' and we find out quickly what is happening all over the world (some of that)... we compete in 'global markets' - some jobs that were 'reliable' a few decades ago in Europe or US have now gone to other parts of the world... (or to machines, though machines and robots still need people to 'service' them and double-check on them)

Things are changing, big time...
It can be partly scary and partly exciting... As we learn how to live in this changing world...

There's uncertainty not only on personal level, also many communities and countries, continents... don't really know what will happen in future...

I think there will always be girls and boys who will fall in love... and it's always helpful to learn cooking or such to be prepared, whatever happens...
So you can charm your loved one, or your family, or friends, or have an enjoyable single life...
Maybe you can write down a few 'possible scenarios' and what could be helpful?

On a personal level, you can do a lot to 'change' or co-create your future... (I think it's not so easy on community and inter/national and global levels, though we can do a lot about that too... or at least try and do our best effort... )

If we would know everything in advance, maybe life would be boring? Or we'd all be Fortune Tellers/win lottery each time?
Maybe not knowing everything is part of the adventure?

A book/movie we haven't read/seen before is usually more interesting and 'gripping' than what we've read/seen already...?

 

[coyote]

I think it helps to accept death and realize how meaningless life is. What happens if we screw up, we die? That's inevitable anyway.

whether we're "winners" or "losers," we all wind up the same in the end

even the illuminati will die - they'll just have a nicer spot in the cemetery

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I've started to adopt a very interesting life phylosopy....

It's called not giving a **** about the future. Just focusing on doing things the best you can and let the future come whatever it may be.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Well, the problem is if you really want to have something but it doesn't depend entirely on you, and the uncertainty component of that will never go away, so I guess that basically:

 

[Feathers]

Well, so the thread title would need to be 'how to deal with being alone or maybe not alone'?

...if I understand it correctly?

uncertainty is a wider more-encompassing subject I guess...

Maybe next year you'll fall in love/meet someone, maybe that person will annoy you and you'll split - and meet someone else - or you'll stay happily together, maybe a pot of flowers will fall on your head as you cross the street - you never know??

There are things you can do to maximize chances of meeting people and/or getting along with them well, you can learn a lot about this...

 

[coyote]

Well, the problem is if you really want to have something but it doesn't depend entirely on you, and the uncertainty component of that will never go away, so I guess that basically:

but see, that is incredibly freeing

since it doesn't depend on you - it allows you to be whoever and however you want

you don't have to worry so much about being a certain way in order to attract a mate, because she'll either be attracted to you or she won't

based on HER preferences - it's nothing you can predict or control

so you are free to be you and find the partner who wants you for who you are

 

[purpledavid]

I've started to adopt a very interesting life phylosopy....

It's called not giving a **** about the future. Just focusing on doing things the best you can and let the future come whatever it may be.

Leer eso me hizo sentir mejor. Gracias por compartir!