Miserum
Well-known member
In my case, literally every time I've seen your avatar from the time since I first started coming here.haha all good mate
We all put our foot in our mouths from time to time
I am so depressed
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PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Yea true.
I think I've come to the realization that the game is played on different levels, with the only time you can be totally "real" is when you are on your own in your home environment. Apart from that everyone is putting on a mask of some sort, I don't care who they are.
Different masks for different situations.
Miserum
Well-known member
Well I think there is a fine line between being an asshole and not being one, when trying to be "real."
The problem is, I feel like shit most of the time, and don't really feel like engaging people. It's much harder to be real in this case without being an asshole. And I don't want to be an asshole to other people because odds are they probably don't deserve it. If I were happier and settled down in life, I think being real would come much easier.
Also, I've developed these obsequious habits over the years (probably since the age of 10) which are engrained into how I interact with people. They are almost unconscious at this point, but perhaps more noticeable with the be-real mindset. I am noticing when I am saying or doing things that are done to get people to like me, rather than for some other, less fucking stupid purpose, like you know, actually doing or saying something because I want to, for me, and no one else.
The problem is, I feel like shit most of the time, and don't really feel like engaging people. It's much harder to be real in this case without being an asshole. And I don't want to be an asshole to other people because odds are they probably don't deserve it. If I were happier and settled down in life, I think being real would come much easier.
Also, I've developed these obsequious habits over the years (probably since the age of 10) which are engrained into how I interact with people. They are almost unconscious at this point, but perhaps more noticeable with the be-real mindset. I am noticing when I am saying or doing things that are done to get people to like me, rather than for some other, less fucking stupid purpose, like you know, actually doing or saying something because I want to, for me, and no one else.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I believe you have enough insight and awareness to change the things that trouble you. You remind me a lot of myself mate.
Miserum
Well-known member
Thanks man. I had a moment of darkness tonight when I realized that even being real would be a fucking challenge itself, just like everything else, but I'm over it. Will keep you apprised of the situation.
BlueDays
1
Yep, to let your guard down and be your true-self in public, takes a lot of courage that's for sure.
Well said, Pug! That's the damn truth right there.
Miserum
Well-known member
If it's true that I have ADHD, I also think I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/rejection-can-more-painful-with-adhd/
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/rejection-can-more-painful-with-adhd/
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for
I've got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
What else is there?
Roads end getting nearer
We cover distance still not together
If I am the storm, if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for
I've got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
What else is there?
Roads end getting nearer
We cover distance still not together
If I am the storm, if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Whatever keeps you going brother. The end will be here soon enough.
Sacrament
Well-known member
You go, buddy. Do your thing.
Miserum
Well-known member
Admittedly, I've really only been doing three and four. Thanks for the support.
Miserum
Well-known member
A couple things I've noticed about how improv has affected my life:
1) I feel more free to express myself verbally and nonverbally.
2) I don't feel as self-conscious when I know people are looking at me (people are constantly looking at you doing ridiculous things while doing improv). It's gone from 90 down to maybe 30 in terms of the anxiety I get from it.
Hoping this trend continues.
1) I feel more free to express myself verbally and nonverbally.
2) I don't feel as self-conscious when I know people are looking at me (people are constantly looking at you doing ridiculous things while doing improv). It's gone from 90 down to maybe 30 in terms of the anxiety I get from it.
Hoping this trend continues.
Miserum
Well-known member
Whenever I watch a television show or movie, I always get caught up in the costumes, makeup, the way people look, the set, whether or not a character is believable, errors, etc. I just find these things really interesting, or at least subconsciously prioritize them over the plot.
In one show I've been watching, where the characters age over the seasons, one of the actors changed their voice drastically to reflect their age at a certain point, while none of his similarly-aged counterparts did the same, even though they grew older as well. The juxtaposition was so out of place and absurd that it made me laugh--since only this one character's voice changed and no one else's did--and I had to rewind so I could understand what was said while I had previously been laughing.
This happens all of the time and not just with media. I do the same while I myself am conversing with people. I'll be distracted by their facial features, the way a tree behind them looks, etc. As a result, I'll miss what people are saying, which inevitably leads to embarrassment. Guess it's part of my ADHD. Highly annoying.
In one show I've been watching, where the characters age over the seasons, one of the actors changed their voice drastically to reflect their age at a certain point, while none of his similarly-aged counterparts did the same, even though they grew older as well. The juxtaposition was so out of place and absurd that it made me laugh--since only this one character's voice changed and no one else's did--and I had to rewind so I could understand what was said while I had previously been laughing.
This happens all of the time and not just with media. I do the same while I myself am conversing with people. I'll be distracted by their facial features, the way a tree behind them looks, etc. As a result, I'll miss what people are saying, which inevitably leads to embarrassment. Guess it's part of my ADHD. Highly annoying.
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