How to talk to girls if you're too shy?

Dodger

Well-known member
I am 25 and I have never been on a date. I really want to meet a girl but I get too scared to talk to them and I always say I will talk to one but I get too scared. I know I need to face my fear but I feel too scared.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

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Staff member
Talk to girls you aren't remotely attracted to. Talk to really old women, tiny toddler girls, and everything in between. The more you talk to all of these creatures, the more you will understand about women. The more you understand about women, the easier talking to any of them becomes--including the ones you want to date.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Talk to girls you aren't remotely attracted to. Talk to really old women, tiny toddler girls, and everything in between. The more you talk to all of these creatures, the more you will understand about women. The more you understand about women, the easier talking to any of them becomes--including the ones you want to date.

I would not talk to tiny toddler girls, or adolescent girls for that matter unless it was OK with their parents. If a child talked to me I might suggest them to think twice, because I am a stranger and a potential risk.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
I would not talk to tiny toddler girls, or adolescent girls for that matter unless it was OK with their parents. If a child talked to me I might suggest them to think twice, because I am a stranger and a potential risk.

I am not suggesting that anyone start walking up to little girls they don't know and chatting them up. That would be crazy.

I am suggesting that he talk to a wide variety of females (preferably without doing anything crazy).
 
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sphynx

Active member
How about communicating in writing first (emails, IM, Facebook messages, etc)? After a while you may become comfortable enough to switch to talking in person or via phone.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Do what I was doing. Go up to women in a public setting such as a grocery store and just ask for the time.

If you are shy, you will find that this exercise is harder than it seems to get the courage to do, but once you do it, you realize that nothing extremely bad is going to happen if you talk to a girl.

This is a great way to start talking to women.

Another you thing you can try is joining a social club where you are forced to talk to people.

There is more I could explain but I don't want to get into too much detail. When I come back from my injury I may make a thread and explain more about what I'm doing to get better at talking to women.

Eventually you'll want to be able to walk up to women and try to get their number. That's what so many guys fear and the fear of rejection is a big barrier that can be a problem.
 

SyncSolo

Member
Try to make random eye contact and say hi if your eyes lock, not that it helps me any no matter what I try. I am just a living ghost.
 

outofthisworld

Well-known member
it really helps a lot chatting with her using a messaging app such as whatsapp or facebook, because then you get to know her, then meet her
 

Richey

Well-known member
Quite simply you don't.

This.

Depends on their personality.

Generally girls are drawn to guys that are show offs and who tick the boxes.

Show offs have zero inhibitions and are very witty and confident, many girls love that. Not all.

Looks help.

However, it depends on the girls personality.

Shy guys only get anywhere if they are quietly confident.

If you are shy, nit confident, anxious mess, then it is near on unlikely, but you could meet a match, it is possible. Though very, very hard.
 
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Argentum

Well-known member
Do you talk to girls much in general? Like around school/work/public? If you never talk at all then to try to talk about dating can be overwhelming, but it's a smaller leap if you're going from everyday conversation to asking someone out.

If you can't, that's a smaller goal. Talking about dating might get easier as you become more comfortable talking in the first place.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
...you can try waiting for them to talk to you?

Oddly enough it's actually happened to me twice recently, in public. But when you're shy/anxious it really is so rare, that you cannot depend on this.

In one case, it was just a basic question; in the other, there was a conversation and some genuine evidence that she liked something about me. But I haven't seen her since. True rarities, though.
 

Luckylife

Well-known member
I agree that you should make small talk with women, you will find that it is fun and harmless. Before you know it you'll be telling someone how nice they look and holding doors open. You might like this - I saw a beautiful woman with friends at a bar, they were sat down at a table. So I bought a drink and sat with them. Not wanting to spoil the moment I didn't say a word, just gazed at her for an hour. Something they all found quite amusing.
 

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
I am 25 and I have never been on a date. I really want to meet a girl but I get too scared to talk to them and I always say I will talk to one but I get too scared. I know I need to face my fear but I feel too scared.

I fell ya, I went on two dates when I was 24, and not one before or since. I always talk myself out of talking to women because even though I've lost a lot of weight, I'm still big and I had a massive weight problem most of my life (I went from 310 or so to 220), I always feel like people are disgusted when they see me.
And now its my age, I go to a womans college, there are a good number of older students but most are 18 or 19, at least most of the ones I've come across, there was one I really liked, I kind of figured she wouldn't be comfortable with the age difference (it wouldn't bother me, I found her to be very nice and that means much more to me than an age difference), so I haven't anything
 

drganon

Well-known member
I don't and if on the very occasion a girl comes up and talks to me, I have a hard time maintaining eye contact and tend to mumble. In other words, I'm probably gonna be extending my dateless steak to 26 years this December. Hooray for me.
 

fate12321

Well-known member
You wait until they talk to you... just kidding. I'd say just go and say, "Hi", or just ask random questions like, "What phone is that?", or something like that.
 
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