How to fool around with a girl

[Remus]

All this logic just kills the romance and mystery dosn't it lol

Maybe... but it works

Yep and my romantic dating type way works too, I've never had much problem dating, my SA problem is with men and groups, your approach sounds cold and weird (and predatory)and I don't think it any kind of way for a SA person to come across as "normal". You could say men in real life act this way, well not the majority of men, just the wankers lol.

 

[Satine]

I feel that SickJoke's suggestions regarding seduction are reduced too much to tecniques. To be honest, any male who wants to get into a relationship should work out his own way of doing it. Some are naturally tactile but some are not and it's not going to do your reputation any good if you try to make yourself tactile. Some are naturally chatty, others are not. Some are relaxed enough to make silences that feel natural, others aren't.

But this simplistic formula of, 'if you start touching a girl right from when you first meet her, you'll be able to bed her in 4 hours' is just... unrealistic. Perhaps there's not enough information, perhaps it's the way the OP comes across. But reading it makes me feel like livestock, being evaluated for my meat.

 

[sabbath9]

I'm always triangle gazing

 

[Hoth]

It just makes me sad that guys are so desperate to attract mates that they'll resort to all these sorts of tricks. It may be true that as a "beta" male I don't have any chance with women, but I'd rather be myself and keep my self-respect than resort to stupid animalistic tricks and manipulation. If women are only attracted to "alpha" traits, then they're not worthwhile. Better to be alone with standards and dignity than dating without.

 

[Havocan]

Supposedly PUA is about dating WITH dignity and standards, but you cannot change who you are, plus it's only about picking up a girl and shag her and then move on to the next using manipulation techniques^^.

 

[Remus]

But this simplistic formula of, 'if you start touching a girl right from when you first meet her, you'll be able to bed her in 4 hours' is just... unrealistic.

unless she's just really slutty
no woman would like anything that full on at first, I think sickjoke really has not a clue what he is talking about, he seems to have no clue whatsoever about women.

 

[flakeybark]

unless she's just really slutty
no woman would like anything that full on at first, I think sickjoke really has not a clue what he is talking about, he seems to have no clue whatsoever about women.

from the way he talks, I wouldn't be surprised if sickjoke has bore his own children. being so knowledgeable and all

 

[Satine]

...and is fighting off adoring women so that he can type these messages to us.

 

[Kamen]

These techniques are not manipulation unless the user uses them exclusively for this. On the same track of thought, we can also arrive to "Being polite with people is manipulation, so don't be polite".

These are guidelines on how to send your signals to the other side, wait for them to approve them and... open the door for you. It helps you to help them feel comfortable with you, give them the chance to know you and like you. Unlike the "Hey, I wanna **** you!" inspired ways.

What is important is to look at this as guidelines and to not forget about your individuality. Don't be a copying machine, but paraphrase and write with your own handwriting.

Things usually have logical explanation. If you think they don't, you simply haven't found it yet. Being logical does not necessarily mean to be 'cold'. We have two hemispheres and it depends on how we use them.

One of the reasons people reject this is because it's hard for them to face the truth that (at least in some situations) they are quite predictable and programmed just like the animals they think they are hugely different from... and superior in all aspects. The Ego... But even the Universe is simple when explained.

This is a good thread and I hope it will be useful for some people.

 

[Riiya]

One of the reasons people reject this is because it's hard for them to face the truth that they are predictable and programmed just like the animals they think they are hugely different from... and superior in all aspects. The Ego... But even the Universe is simple when explained.

Right... and here I was thinking it's only because it teaches people to be an asshole. But what do I know, you're obviously logical enough to know me better than I know myself.

 

[Havocan]

These techniques are not manipulation unless the user uses them exclusively for this. On the same track of thought, we can also arrive to "Being polite with people is manipulation, so don't be polite".

Yes they are indeed manipulation techniques, for it teaches blokes unsure of themselves how to behave, talk and look like to make a girl {or a actually multiple girls} interested in them, hence the fact that PUA is a means to get laid with basis in the "alpha-male-attracting-females-thing".

Politeness is of course just an appropriate way for civilised beings to act and is therefore not manipulation but how people in general should behave towards each other.

 

[saen]

Politeness is of course just an appropriate way for civilised beings to act and is therefore not manipulation but how people in general should behave towards each other.

I definitely agree with your point here; it is similar to the 'I scratch your back, you scratch my back' principal.

 

[SickJoke]

You guys gave me a good laugh

There's nothing manipulative or creepy about touching, it's a natural part of conversation. It's just another aspect of social skills.

 

[ocean]

Slap her ass and ask for some fries with that shake.

 

[SickJoke]

Yep and my romantic dating type way works too, I've never had much problem dating, my SA problem is with men and groups, your approach sounds cold and weird (and predatory)and I don't think it any kind of way for a SA person to come across as "normal".

That's good, congratulations on your success.

You could say men in real life act this way, well not the majority of men, just the wankers lol.

Yes, men touch women in real life, well not the majority of men, just the successful ones.

---

I feel that SickJoke's suggestions regarding seduction are reduced too much to tecniques.

Just like any form of social skills can be analyzed and broken down, so can attraction. This form of instructions is the best way to explain things to an introvert (introverts tend to be logical and analytical).

To be honest, any male who wants to get into a relationship should work out his own way of doing it.

Doing some research can help too.

Some are naturally tactile but some are not and it's not going to do your reputation any good if you try to make yourself tactile.

So you get rejected a few times in the process of learning, and it's worth it.

Some are naturally chatty, others are not.

But anyone can become chatty if they learn the tools to express themselves effectively.

Some are relaxed enough to make silences that feel natural, others aren't.

Agreed, and people can learn how to relax themselves in those situations as well.

But this simplistic formula of, 'if you start touching a girl right from when you first meet her, you'll be able to bed her in 4 hours' is just... unrealistic.

No, that's definitely not guaranteed. Especially for someone who's just beginning, he'll most likely get rejected within the first 10 minutes

Perhaps there's not enough information, perhaps it's the way the OP comes across. But reading it makes me feel like livestock, being evaluated for my meat.

I really don't see how you came to that conclusion. The guy in the original post asked how to transition from regular conversation to fooling around with a girl, and this information explains that.

---

I'm always triangle gazing

Nice, just try not to give your boss the impression that you want to kiss him

---

It just makes me sad that guys are so desperate to attract mates that they'll resort to all these sorts of tricks.

Oh yeah, it's so sad that guys can learn how to comfortably touch a woman. Makes me want to cry too.

It may be true that as a "beta" male I don't have any chance with women, but I'd rather be myself and keep my self-respect than resort to stupid animalistic tricks and manipulation.

We're allowed to improve any other area of our lives will still being "ourselves," so why the hell can't we improve our skills with women and still be "ourselves?" First of all humans are animals, and this stuff isn't manipulation, it's social skills.

If women are only attracted to "alpha" traits, then they're not worthwhile. Better to be alone with standards and dignity than dating without.

Most guys would disagree, simply because, well... being alone sucks.

Supposedly PUA is about dating WITH dignity and standards, but you cannot change who you are, plus it's only about picking up a girl and shag her and then move on to the next using manipulation techniques^

You kind of contradicted yourself there. Anyway the tools just explain how to interact with women - how you use those tools is your decision.

unless she's just really slutty
no woman would like anything that full on at first, I think sickjoke really has not a clue what he is talking about, he seems to have no clue whatsoever about women.

Obviously we would disagree on that point

Yes they are indeed manipulation techniques, for it teaches blokes unsure of themselves how to behave, talk and look like to make a girl {or a actually multiple girls} interested in them,

What's manipulative about that? That's self improvement man.

Politeness is of course just an appropriate way for civilised beings to act and is therefore not manipulation but how people in general should behave towards each other.

And this is just a way of behaving towards women effectively.

Slap her ass and ask for some fries with that shake.

Proooooobably won't work, depending on who the guy is : D

 

[Havocan]

These so-called "tools" for "self-improvement" are meant to give guys better self-esteem so they can pick up girls. Talk to them, read their body language {and improve their own} be nice, funny, smart towards them and overall convince them they're a good catch. And then, for what purpose? For playing cards together or shagging? PUA is all about changing a girl's feelings so she'll fall for you so you two can end up in bed together and that's manipulation since you're using these skills deliberately to get with her.

 

[Kamen]

Havocan, I am sorry to read you haven't seen what I mean...

Person A may not like and not care about person B at all, but play a false polite role in order to make person B do something which evolves around person's A interests. Now apply this to the techniques. Also apply the reverse situation. See the common ground? Saying that politeness can never be manipulative is just as absurd as saying these techniques are always manipulative, having in mind that I label as 'manipulation' here only behaviors that involve pretending.

But words are matter of labeling and I can continue further by saying that 'manipulation' is everything that somehow leads to satisfying one's needs and interests, questioning what is behind polite behavior, why this way of interaction is useful and so on to the point that everything is a form of manipulation evolving around personal interests. But other people have already done that before me and you, I think, and I don't see any need to turn this into a quasi-philosophical thread.

 

[SickJoke]

These so-called "tools" for "self-improvement" are meant to give guys better self-esteem so they can pick up girls.

Yes, they are tools for self improvement.

Talk to them, read their body language {and improve their own} be nice, funny, smart towards them and overall convince them they're a good catch.

Not just to "convince them they're a good catch," but to learn how to BE a good catch.

And then, for what purpose?For playing cards together or shagging?

Hmm, sure, if that's what you would want to do.

PUA is all about changing a girl's feelings so she'll fall for you so you two can end up in bed together and that's manipulation since you're using these skills deliberately to get with her.

So any time you use skills, it's manipulation?

 

[Kamen]

So any time you use skills, it's manipulation?

That's what I tried to tell him. If he says these skills are always manipulation, then social skills that involve being polite with people are manipulation, too.

 

[SickJoke]

That's what I tried to tell him. If he says these skills are always manipulation, then social skills that involve being polite with people are manipulation, too.

Hahaha, exactly