How to Deal With a Job When Depressed?

[MikeyC]

It really sucks when alot of us has to work in jobs that we hate. It sucks more when we are stuck at it.

That's the truth.

 

[MikeyC]

I want your job!!! I wonder if I can get a job as a janitor... haha.

It's a crappy job. You don't want it.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I have a part-time job. I really need the money as I am literally broke. I am also very VERY depressed right now, even borderline suicidal. How do I cope with a job that deals with the public?

The most awful part of it is, my workplace is OBSESSED with their employees always presenting a smiling face at all times. I hate to sound super negative, but for people like me this is hard to keep up constantly when you feel like absolute crap.

To illustrate just how obsessed they are, I came in to work one day and my manager asked me how I was. I gave what I thought was a fairly normal reply without attempting to sound super fake cheerful and said, "I'm alright" in a not-gloomy-but-not-super-happy voice. He responded, "Just alright!?" and seemed annoyed that I wasn't super happy and energetic. What do these people want, superhuman robots? I'm going through a very bad time (understatement), I'm not exactly Miss USA all-smiles. Please forgive me.

I was eating one of their sandwiches once and my manager said, "How is it?" Honestly, it wasn't the best sandwich I'd ever had but it wasn't bad, so I said, "It's good." He said, "Good!? Just good!?" Ugh! What does he want, "It's FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, and they don't even let us use our cellphones on our break. And they make us stand in line to get our food, which cuts into our break time (only 20 minutes to begin with) by a LOT.

Anyway, rant aside... How do YOU all cope with a job if you have one, if you are depressed? Especially if you have a job in customer service where it is basically a requirement for you to smile all the time and be super friendly.

If you want/need the money you do your best to fake it and try on your acting shoes. It's kinda like dealing with anything when you're depressed and have to go in public for work. Be fake.
I used to have a job where I worked in a kennel/animal boarding facility, that was good because even if you were sad the animals would always put a smile on your face. People on the other hand just add salt to my wounds unless they are really cool, which is rare.

 

[MikeyC]

It's hard to find jobs where you don't have to work with people directly and put on a smile, though.

Every job, even those without customer service, require some level of human interaction. It's just how it is.

 

[MikeyC]

Well yeah, I know that. I'm fine with that and accept it. But I mean dealing with the public constantly, smiling and stuff. I'd like to be a delivery person or something, I have no freaking clue.

Like driving vans around? I have thought of that myself.

Being constantly switched on and smiling is difficult. Some people find it easy. I remember once I went to a hardware store and the girl serving me was overflowing with happiness. She gave everyone a thumbs-up and the biggest smile. I asked her why she was so happy and she said she was just happy to be working and it was great. I guess she really needed a job. But yeah, that's one example of someone being switched on.

I understand how difficult it is for you. I find it difficult, too. I am lucky enough to switch off and it's allowed.

 

[knowlife]

i have the same problem. when ever i get in to a deep depression i am a complete wreck. i dont smile, i tend to sulk. i have tears in my eyes constantly and barely speak above a whisper. im sure the customers have notice that im in a bad state and probably think ill of me. i dont know what to do before work to get myself in a mindstate that i can put on the ol' song and dance for few hours.

 

[Kat]

I’d really work on building on skills or anything you are really good at now and try and work out a way you can do it from home. I have done ok at customer service in the past sometimes I can seem bubbly when I’m nervous because I get giggly, but people like attention and that’s something that overwhelms me. I can sometimes gain confidence if I really have studied what I’m going to say and instructing others on how to do something. I don’t think I could be a teacher but my ideal job would be doing something from home maybe teaching something.

 

[Bustn Justin]

When I started my first position as manager I had a mental breakdown.

I had been with the company for years while I was in university and once I finished I got promoted to run another dept I don't have much experience with. When I started the previous manager who ran the dept was suppose to train me would avoid doing it. On top of that she would find ways to sabotage me and talk crap about me behind my back. With the way I was being treated she would come to me and whine about her problems and help her out in her dept while running mine.

I was already depressed with not having any friends, living at home, and not using my education for my position. After dealing with this stuff it made me feel even lower to a nervous breakdown. I was fortunate that I was able to hide it from everyone and nobody had a clue to what is going on.

This manager eventually left the company but the damage has been done. A few months I decided to leave after 8 years of being there.

It took a few jobs to find something better and have no regrets.

 

[montejocarlo]

if you're working in customer service, it's normal that people will demand you to be cheerful, not because they're concerned of your happiness or well-being but because they don't want you to shoo away your clients with a sour mood. it's business. and business is mostly superficial. if it bothers you so much, maybe you need to consider quitting. i know it's a lot harder than it sounds, but if what you do is making your condition worse, i think it's well worth ditching. it's a more acceptable option than going along with a system that you resent. if you can't do that, it's better that you try coming to terms with your work. don't fight it. don't hate it. as my college professor once said, "if you're here because you wanted to, good for you. if you're here because you had no choice, then you better look for a reason to like where you're at. if not, you can leave."

 

[Lea]

I have similar problem, but not everyone who doesn´t smile is being rude or uncaring.. still I am afraid to accept jobs which entail serving food for example, as I don´t even think it would be fair on the customers, even if I tried to do it right, I am just not the suitable type for it .

 

[Silatuyok]

You should look into animal care. Apply at shelters and vet clinics and whatnot. I'm not just saying that because it's what I do ::

 

[Feathers]

hm I was so bored at a job sometimes that I was really happy when people came I could seem like super-cheery but actually it was just good to have some people around...

so, maybe you can observe people or imagine stuff (eg what their lives could be like etc, like book heroines etc or even ask them about their day/life if you have time for this?) or yeah, think about something nice you could do later (eg go for a walk with doggie etc)

if someone from the team teases you, maybe you could try to come up with a few witty comebacks? (It's not always easy, you could try to prepare some in advance?)
My dad (and some other relatives/friends/acquaintances) can be pretty rude too, sometimes you just need to be rude back, and they will even appreciate it?? (= you need to stand up for yourself somewhat) ideally in a friendly way still, or at least respectful

eg if they might comment at your weight/size (They might be jealous yeah!), you could say, 'Heh, there's more of me to love, jealous eh?' or such?

People can sometimes be bored and may just like to tease other people, out of boredom or stupidity/not knowing what else to say etc. (Or there might be slight resentment, if eg their friend didn't get picked for this job or such, which might be good to find out, maybe if there's someone you can talk with you could ask?) Otherwise it may be just 'good-natured' (even if it might be terribly rude), my dad got picked on a lot in the factory... (They were just bored a lot it seems??)
You could find more interesting topics to talk about? (Even if just stuff from gossip magazines/news/TV or such, whatever the others might be interested in?)

If you can get a book on BDD or some counselling (or a support group) on this it would be good too!!

As for bosses wanting super-cheerful people 'all' the time, hm? Maybe he was just 'fishing for compliments', it would be good if you can find some things (or sandwiches/food items) you can genuinely praise? People have different taste in food... Some relatives who run a food biz can also be a bit offended if one doesn't eat something (difficult with food sensitivities), so I just praise what I remember being good!! (& say I wish I could eat it all lol!)

Wish things get better!! (Or you can find a better job too yeah!)

Sometimes people back off a bit if you tell'em you've been going through some rough times, especially if it's something they might understand (eg death of relatives/loved ones etc) It's good to get to know people a bit to see who you can trust with anything like that though... Or you could pretend to be playing a role in a movie?

You do need to balance it with people you can be genuine with... Like us here and other people in RL who might understand? (Other people in customer service might relate too? There are probably customer service support forums too? )

 

[Silatuyok]

I have thought of this sooo many times. It's something I really want to do but I don't even know how to go about it. I guess just do a Google search for local animal shelters and see if they're hiring?

Edit: Nope, just did that and it didn't yield what I was looking for.

How do you find a job at an animal shelter or vet clinic? Just go to the places and ask if they're hiring? Am I asking stupid questions?

Those aren't stupid questions at all. It can be tricky, and it's taken me a while to find a full-time animal care job. Are you wanting full-time or part time?
Anyway, here are some tips:
1. If you have the time, start out with volunteering at an animal shelter or similar place. This is the best way to get experience and start getting your foot in the door.
2. Search for clinics or shelters in your area, and keep an eye on their websites. Oftentimes these types of positions don't wind up on careerbuilder or other job sites because they want to limit the application pool somewhat.
3. Another good way to keep an eye out for jobs is to see if those clnics and shelters have Facebook pages, and keep an eye out for job postings there.
4. Go ahead and search for animal related jobs on major job sites. These are more competitive because of the huge applicant pool, but it's definitely worth it to keep an eye out. Persistence is the key, don't give up if you don't land a job in the first few months.

Right now I'm leaving a position an an animal shelter for a similar position at a low-cost spay/neuter clinic. I got the shelter job by noticing a Facebook post for the position, and I sent in my resume immediately.
I got my current job at the clinic because I would routinely check their job postings on their website.
For both jobs, it helped that I had volunteered with other animal organizations in the city, so I had professional and personal references that these places knew and had worked with as well.
A lot of animal care jobs are entry level jobs, so don't worry too much if you don't have any experience. Good luck! And let me know if you have any more questions.

 

[KiaKaha]

I dont have a job - I always get put off by the descriptions of the kind of person they are looking for.

"Super energetic"
"People person"
"Smiley and bubbly"
"confident and outgoing"

Thats not me at all. So I dont bother. I have always been hopeless at hiding my feelings. People can always pick up my shyness and lack of confidence - and it puts people off right away - being unsure of ourselves is equatable to committing an unforgivable crime it would seem. Unforgivable.

 

[Silatuyok]

^I don't know of any job out there that does not require "Excellent communication skills." I think that's why it took me so long to get a job, because I would go into an interview and be honest about needing to work on how well I connect with my fellow employees.
This may be a stereotype, but I have always heard of American Indians as being more reserved, much less talkative, and very private people. I would be interested in learning whether or not that is really true, or if it's just the way they are always portrayed in media.

 

[coyote]

This may be a stereotype, but I have always heard of American Indians as being more reserved, much less talkative, and very private people. I would be interested in learning whether or not that is really true, or if it's just the way they are always portrayed in media.

my ex-wife is native american

i spent alot of time with her extended family

i can't say that i found that to be true at all

(although there are many nations/tribes, each with their own culture)

perhaps to outsiders

 

[Silatuyok]

perhaps to outsiders

Yes, that's probably what it is.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

my ex-wife is native american

i spent alot of time with her extended family

i can't say that i found that to be true at all

(although there are many nations/tribes, each with their own culture)

perhaps to outsiders

I'll agree with coyote-- being from a metis family that was part of a large community of first nations in the central Ontario region, I can say first hand that most of my family, extended family, friends and so on... were not really the quiet/reserved people that media portrays-- but there is etiquette for portraying oneself respectably infront of outsiders/guests/media presence.

Among friends, it's all laughing, playing and parties.
Once outsiders are involved, it's much more traditional, quiet, serious.

I was told before that it is the only way outsiders will retain respect for first nations people after hundreds of years of stereotypes, pain, suffering, fighting...
We're people too; but it's hard for anyone to respect our culture when there are so many negative stereotypes out there.

Though there is and will always be the tradition and seriousness to our culture-- there is alot more going on inside the community itself.

As one end note; my grandfather and all of the men in my family are/were very outgoing and friendly.
The women were always taught to be reserved and introverted- to focus on the house and the children. (as my grandparents still stress on me)
That's just what was 'proper'.

 

[MikeyC]

^I don't know of any job out there that does not require "Excellent communication skills." I think that's why it took me so long to get a job, because I would go into an interview and be honest about needing to work on how well I connect with my fellow employees.

It always helps to bend the truth a little bit.

 

[KiaKaha]

Yes! Exactly. It is like a crime in our society. I wonder how that works in other cultures, if there is such an emphasis placed on being sociable and outgoing. I don't think there is in many Asian and Middle Eastern societies.

Yeah I have noticed that - being outgoing and bold and all that jazz is very much a westernized thing. Lacking confidence has a HUGE stigma attached to it for some reason.... it seems to be the one thing that so many people will judge you on. I have a kind eye for people who are shy and unsure of themselves myself. Asian, Indian, middle easterners tend to be a bit more... I dont know...demure? I do know that their social norms are quite different. They seem to be a lot happier. There is no doubt a correlation - although of course thats not a rule. There are always exceptions.

I always worry that the facade of confidence will become transparent and eventually I will be exposed as the insecure socially awkward person that I really am - once that happens... its all over. The end. You will be marked...as one of "those" guys....