How much do other people influence your feelings...

[KiaKaha]

Toward other people and situations? Meaning - if other people hold a particular person in high (or low) esteem - does that influence your own opinion toward that person? Or do you remain impartial and judge independently free from the opinions of others?

Do you think its true, that the more a situation or a person is disliked - then the more likely that person would be disliked from someone that does not know them? (a fresh slate so to speak)

Would you prefer to go with the status quo toward the majority - or are you comfortable contradicting or going against what is popular?

How much do others opinions affect your own?

I have a hard time articulating lately, because I frequently feel misunderstood - but I hope people understand my question. I would be interested in the responses.

Thanks very much.

 

[dragonoth]

This is a pretty complicated question. I don't think I have just one straight answer for you. On one hand, I will laugh at the stupidity of somebody I don't know but whom a friend knows. On the other, I may at some point have first-hand experience in dealing with a particular individual and find they're not all that bad.

What is it that you are searching answers for? Did you just want a general discussion on this topic or do you actually want to know why people misunderstand you?

 

[Starry]

Of course opinions given by others affect the way I'll see a situation or a person to a degree, but I consciously try to ignore such things and judge for myself. It's usually harder for me to ignore the negative opinions than the positive ones however...

To your second question, the answer is a definite yes... Most people are very influenced by others' opinions, so it will be much more likely that they will be disliked by others based solely upon that.

I am incredibly comfortable going against the status quo, now at least... I used to be more nervous about admitting things, but now I don't care. I judge things for myself and I don't care what others say... If I like something that others think badly of then it's tough, and the same if I dislike something others like.

I hope my opinions are not affected by others at all... But in truth they probably are to some degree, especially if they are the opinions of people I respect. As for how much, well there are few people I respect enough to be swayed by them, so probably not a lot...

 

[Starry]

Also, I remembered a study I read once talking about predictability of music in the market... It showed how people are influenced by others opinions... Which song would do well became much less predictable when people could be influenced by seeing the most "popular" choices, but was much more predictable when it was completely independent and they had no idea what others' opinions were. I thought it fitted in well with your questions...

It was published in 'Science'... You can read the article here: Clicky-Clicky

 

[Hellhound]

I judge things for myself.

 

[KiaKaha]

Also, I remembered a study I read once talking about predictability of music in the market... It showed how people are influenced by others opinions... Which song would do well became much less predictable when people could be influenced by seeing the most "popular" choices, but was much more predictable when it was completely independent and they had no idea what others' opinions were. I thought it fitted in well with your questions...

It was published in 'Science'... You can read the article here: Clicky-Clicky

Well yeah - that's the kind of stuff I mean. I am just wondering if anyone else is aware of it. It doesn't seem like this thread is going to be very popular by the looks of things.
I just find it intriguing that there is a kind of mob mentality when it comes to determining who or what is worthwhile - and I am curious to know why.

 

[Silatuyok]

I tend to judge other people based mostly on whether or not I think they are "nice." I have felt kindly toward a number of people who were looked down upon by everyone else around me, and I've stuck up for them by pointing out that they are good people. On the other hand, I sometimes dislike a person who seems to be generally well-liked, simply because they rubbed me the wrong way. I guess you could say that I don't give a damn what other people think about each other, I form my own opinions based on our own interactions.

 

[Silatuyok]

I find this thread interesting. I also tend to like music that is not popular in the mainstream, and I kind of like kooky, out of the ordinary things. Growing up as the youngest of eight children, I had to learn to like the things that weren't popular with my older siblings, so that I could get a fair share of something. Maybe that has some influence over my tastes in people too. ::

 

[MikeyC]

I try to make my own decisions on whether to like or dislike someone, but I would be lying if I said others opinions didn't resonate at all. If I was meeting someone for the first time, and a few people said that he/she is rude, arrogant, and steals all your fries when you're not looking, I would be skeptical and order more fries just in case.

 

[Labyrinthine]

I like to make my own descisions. Also, I'm a bit too paranoid in regards towards the motives of others to blindly trust them without my own observations. However, if people I trust are the ones telling me these things, I'd be more apt to blindly listen to their opinions. Don't get me wrong, I'd still objectively try to draw my own conclusions, but I'd probably go into it a bit more biased.

 

[Nathália]

Toward other people and situations? Meaning - if other people hold a particular person in high (or low) esteem - does that influence your own opinion toward that person? Or do you remain impartial and judge independently free from the opinions of others?

Do you think its true, that the more a situation or a person is disliked - then the more likely that person would be disliked from someone that does not know them? (a fresh slate so to speak)

Would you prefer to go with the status quo toward the majority - or are you comfortable contradicting or going against what is popular?

How much do others opinions affect your own?

I have a hard time articulating lately, because I frequently feel misunderstood - but I hope people understand my question. I would be interested in the responses.

Thanks very much.

Read my quote, I stand by it because I had to learn the hard way. Majority or minority view it is good to reflect on both sides. I don't expect for people to hold the same beliefs as me, it just an observation about life that keeps me from being hurt or hurting other people. People are not perfect, I am a people. I think not judging someone is impossible. I am guilty of it, but I don't think just because someone is in the minority/majority/people are against them, that is a good reason to like or not like the person. I like to hear every side of the story before I analyze it, because I don't want to be in the wrong.

I'm a moderate and neutral person, that really try to think critically to my best abilities. Yea, I still may misjudge people, but people can feel free to judge me, as long as the don't treat me like trash. It is when the funny comments and rude attitudes that comes along that bother me. I try to keep my judgments to myself and treat people fairly, because what if I am doing the wrong thing? Then it makes me look like a donkey or I will feel that way because of guilt.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think everyone is to some degree swayed by popular opinion - or the majority. Again I think this comes down to an innate sense of acceptance and belonging by others.
I think perhaps I used to be - and I still am to a certain extent - although, I am beginning to realize that just because something or someone is accepted (or not) does not necessarily mean that it is true.

I sometimes think there are insincere reasons as to why certain things are way that they are - but I can't prove it - and even if there is denial or a contradiction, I don't quite believe it. - not that anything can really be gained by 'proving' anything..

It's like fads - everyone does it because everyone is doing it. I used to be a huge Teenage mutant ninja turtle fan when I was younger. Why? Because all my friends were into it (back then I had friends - before I turned into a cynical whiny little bitch) and I wanted to be part of the club.

Anyway - thanks for the responses. I appreciate all taking the time to respond. Quite an interesting topic IMO.

 

[MikeyC]

I am beginning to realize that just because something or someone is accepted (or not) does not necessarily mean that it is true.

Totally. In heavy metal circles, there are bands you just don't listen to, lest you be called a "poser" or worse. I happen to enjoy some of those bands and I used to try to hate them, simply because the circle I was in didn't find them cool. These days I realise how silly that was and I'm no longer swayed by what people on the internet deem "cool" anymore.

In your context, it could be anything, including people. I totally understand your point and I agree with it.

It's like fads - everyone does it because everyone is doing it. I used to be a huge Teenage mutant ninja turtle fan when I was younger. Why? Because all my friends were into it (back then I had friends - before I turned into a cynical whiny little bitch) and I wanted to be part of the club..

Haha, fads. I got into Pokemon card collecting and Tazo's when I was in school because everyone else was doing it and I was desperate to be accepted. Now that I'm 26 I can obviously see it was not worth it, but it shows that anyone can get sucked into fads. We're seeing it now with the latest gadgets and whatnot.

 

[hidwell]

I try to make my own decisions on whether to like or dislike someone, but I would be lying if I said others opinions didn't resonate at all. If I was meeting someone for the first time, and a few people said that he/she is rude, arrogant, and steals all your fries when you're not looking, I would be skeptical and order more fries just in case.

Don't you go stealing my fries . ::

 

[Kat]

I give people the benefit of the doubt mostly and draw up an opinion based on the experience I have had with them. I think I give people a fair chance.

 

[psych]

Speaking as a victim of harassment in the workplace...
No, I do not care what other people think. I'll wait to interact with someone before forming my own opinion of them.

 

[Lea]

Recently someone put this on FB

Almost famous! Student hires own bodyguards, paparazzi and entourage and pranks New York into believing that he is a world-famous celebrity | Mail Online

your thread reminded me of it. I think it speaks for itself.

 

[Starry]

^ That is both brilliantly amazing and dreadfully sad and depressing at the same time!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I wouldn't say they influence me that much. Other people's feelings. After all I am on the outside and there is a reason for that. I don't like what people usually like and I don't like most people. This is obviously unhealthy and I am working on it. What I want is to be part of the group, and yet I push that all aside. Even here.

 

[MikeyC]

What I want is to be part of the group, and yet I push that all aside. Even here.

Well, I still like you.