Maybe I can give a little hope here as if I can find a partner anyone can. I dated a bit in college but then almost nothing until I was 33 and I met someone through the website
www.social-anxiety.org.uk who was a penpal first for a long time and then we got together, have been for 4 years.
I had so little success with women (well I was too chicken to ask any out, so I never got rejected either I guess!) that I felt very unloveable. My gf has admitted that her first thought when she actually met me was "my, what a big head" - and she didn't mean I was egotistical, literally I have got a large head! Luckily for me she likes hands and thinks my hands and eyes are nice. We had corresponded a lot about lots of things before we got together however I would not recommend this for everyone - I did the same with one other very nice lady I met through match.com and we got on great by e-mail but had no chemistry in person, and felt bad we had invested so much in the relationship without ever meeting first.
So I would say don't give up hope of finding someone who cares about you through online means. You just have to be open to regular people, as I find many shy men are unrealistic about wanting to be with some "hottie" when they just don't have the good looks or personality to attract someone like that, and yet will ignore a perfectly pleasant person and normal-looking person as not being up to their standards.
The one thing I had in my favour is that I express myself better in writing than I would in conversation in a noisy bar or disco. When I e-mailed people I always focused on positive things I would like to do, and my interests in travel and cinema, so I probably created a better impression than someone who just e-mails about how depressing their life was (and mine was pretty lonely at the time, my parents both died in 2001 and my few friends were married and too busy to see me, but I didn't focus on that I focused on a better future instead).
Unfortunately my gf has issues about rejection and abandonment so doesn't always feel reassured that our relationship will last, and I also sometimes worry about being a couple of bad arguments away from a breakup and lonely singlehood again (which is irrational as we only have occasional, minor arguments), so we don't always get all the benefits we should from being in a relationship.
There are two books, "Shy And Single" and "If The Buddha Dated" which I would recommend to any shy person here who doubts if love will ever happen for them, both are easily available from Amazon. Good luck to all the singletons out there
