How do you deal with invites to parties, weddings etc?

N

nightcrawler

Well-known member
Do you simply go, and endure it? Do you make an excuse to get out of it? Or do your family/friends know you well enough that they don't expect you to go?

I hate getting invited to these things - they are such an ordeal. Weeks/months of worrying about it and then the actual day itself. I never have anyone to take with me. And then there's the non-stop questions about your personal life (girlfriend, job, holidays etc) ::(:
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
I always declined going to things like that. Now I barely get any invites anymore, because they know I don't go anyway. Just 1 guy asked me the last month to go somewhere. I hope it goes to 0, it's not a good sign, but at least I'm calm for not dissapointing some one.
 
Square_Eyes

Square_Eyes

Well-known member
I usually say something like, “Thanks for the offer but I don't do too well in crowds.” It's vague enough to conceal the veritable terror that's presently feasting at your core over the idea but quite direct enough to convey that you're probably not all that comfortable in that sort of environment. Nine times out of ten people will just leave it at that. Job done. :) ::(:
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
funny you should say that , i was invited to a big party this sat just gone , my mate tom rang me up and said come on gaz just come over , stop being a loner , i said darling :) now you know i dont do crowds , so say if i did come down , and started freaking out , running around like a mad man with an axe and started killing evreyone :) dont you think it would spoil the party ...... we both just laughed , he said yea ok mate see you monday ;)
 
N

nightcrawler

Well-known member
KJC said:
Wow... You mean you actually get invited?
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Unfortunately yes :rolleyes: Mostly family things, though they don't expect me to go anymore. My mate (who I've known for a long time) is having a big 40th birthday party in December to which I've been invited. Apparently he's sent out over 70 invites just to his friends & family, and that's without his girlfriend's invites! Obviously there's gonna be a lot of people there ::(:
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
I don't. Crowds bug me, watching constantly. Two events gone to, two weddings. Both not happy times.

What's wrong with being quiet anyway? Why do the quiet have to talk?
 
I

IAMN

Well-known member
More often then not I turn it down, but on the occasion I do accept, it becomes a point of anxiety leading up to the event. I had my first panic attack at a party(and by far the worst one) so it doesn't bring up fond memories. I complain a lot about lack of companionship, but the social get-togethers are probably the best way to meet new people. I also base my decision on the type of people I'm going to be around. By "party", some friends mean a night of video games and gross food. Others mean a night of sitting around in a circle talking for hours on end--- that I can't handle as much.
 
I

IamThisOne

Well-known member
I generally don't get invited to parties, but a few months ago one of my brother's room mates invited me to a party. I didn't say "no" or anything like that, I just didn't show up.
 
Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
IamThisOne said:
I generally don't get invited to parties, but a few months ago one of my brother's room mates invited me to a party. I didn't say "no" or anything like that, I just didn't show up.
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Haha. I just let the phone ring now and don't return any messages.
 
Damaged

Damaged

Well-known member
If it involves me sitting down for a long amount of time i say no, but if i can keep my mind of my panic attacks with moving, dancing, talking etc anything that doesnt involve sitting still then i'd go because i want to improve on going out more.
 
wooaah

wooaah

Well-known member
I'm beginning to regret declining invites to these.

I've been thinking that since I have a hard time finding people I am comfortable speaking with, I may actually have to meet more people than the ordinary person does in order to make a friend.

One thing i have found helpful is to just leave when it gets too much. Go out for a walk, some time to calm down, and come back. Someone as quiet as me, no one notices if i'm gone for an hour anyway.
 
staticreflex

staticreflex

Well-known member
I usually say that I will go, but I started noticing that I often get really tired the few hours before it begins and will fall asleep before it even gets started. I think it was a defense mechanism. I try to go as often as I can to build my social skills, but its hard and very embarrassing most of the time, but I have improved.
 
Mr.Moon

Mr.Moon

Well-known member
My brother has a lot of birthday party's for his kids. However he never personally invites me but my parents do. The think is though I usually went ahead and attended so I could be seen as a good family member at least but... after awhile it just became depressing as heck.. no one would ever talk to me. My brothers been pushing me away forever.. never celebrates my birthday with me anymore or sees me on Christmas, so I just stopped going.. That's the only parties I attended last.
 
Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
Mr.Moon said:
My brother has a lot of birthday party's for his kids. However he never personally invites me but my parents do. The think is though I usually went ahead and attended so I could be seen as a good family member at least but... after awhile it just became depressing as heck.. no one would ever talk to me. My brothers been pushing me away forever.. never celebrates my birthday with me anymore or sees me on Christmas, so I just stopped going.. That's the only parties I attended last.
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I hate family gatherings, especially other people's families. I feel like sore thumb sticking out, damned if I talk damned if I don't talk.

Your brother sounds like he is immature or bears a grudge. At least your parents think of you.
 
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