How do people with SA get married?

[MikeyC]

men have it easier, everyone is mostly paying attention to the bride

it's her show, really. the groom is just there for decoration.

This is why I could probably do it. Everyone would be focusing on the bride.

The speeches would be tough, but if I kept it short, I wouldn't shake too much. I probably won't be getting married any time soon, anyway.

 

[PGT]

Just the thought of making a speech turns my legs to jelly

 

[cosmosis]

Oddly enough, its really not that bad. You do have a choice on the size, type and scope of the wedding, unless you married a nazi and in that case, the wedding is the least of your problems. We had a small relaxed wedding and it worked quite well for us. I've had school projects that were more stressful. You don't need a giant elaborate wedding like in the movies or what really outgoing people do. Or just simply elope.

 

[Silatuyok]

If you are doing it up big, it helps to have a DJ or emcee there to tell you what to do and when, and then you are just like a puppet going through all the "proper" motions of a "proper ceremony." It seems like weddings these days are all pre-planned out of cookie cutter steps and all you have to do is follow the instructions. Just smile and pretend, because it all goes by in a big whirl anyway and you won't remember most of it, even if you're completely sober.

Personally, I'm just going to have a little picnic with my friends and family. No white dress, no enforced dancing, no color scheme, no silly and meaningless (to me, anyway) traditions. Just good food, cupcakes, and maybe a bluegrass band.

 

[hidwell]

I can give a talk in front of hundreds of people.

One on my communication is my problem, my anxiety is more obvious.

I am the exact opposite, the more people looking at me the more self conscious I feel.

 

[Hellhound]

I'd just choose to sign papers and be done with it. I'm not bothered to appear in front of 247927437429742 people. I'm more against having to wear a dress and kiss in public. I really doubt they'd let a female wear a suit in her wedding.

 

[MikeyC]

Just good food, cupcakes, and maybe a bluegrass band.

Maybe I can get a death metal band at my wedding?

I'd just choose to sign papers and be done with it. I'm not bothered to appear in front of 247927437429742 people. I'm more against having to wear a dress and kiss in public. I really doubt they'd let a female wear a suit in her wedding.

Maybe two hundred forty seven trillion, nine hundred twenty seven billion, four hundred thirty seven million, four hundred twenty nine thousand, seven hundred forty two people can witness you in a suit and your husband in a wedding dress instead. That would be a sight. :thumbup:

 

[BamanPiderman]

I was thinking if my fiance was really cool we could have a wedding like in the movie the Vow, hehe. Even though I have a while yet to go before I have to consider it seriously, I've thought about it a couple of times. I can't imagine a worse situation for someone with SA.

 

[Starry]

I'd just choose to sign papers and be done with it. I'm not bothered to appear in front of 247927437429742 people. I'm more against having to wear a dress and kiss in public. I really doubt they'd let a female wear a suit in her wedding.

Who is this "they" who would be not be "letting"? It may be fairly non-standard, but I have seen pictures of weddings with brides (and Grooms) wearing all manner of clothes! I think a suit would be perfectly fine and something which has almost certainly been done before on quite a few occasions.


I find it interesting so many people are afraid of the speech part, yet it doesn't seem to occur that you don't have to make a speech. Remember that a wedding - even a hypothetical one - is your (and your partner's) day and you both choose what should be there and what shouldn't. We didn't have speeches at my wedding (well, other than my sister banging a glass and saying "thank you" to us for having people back at our home since she knew how difficult it must be for us and that she really appreciated it), as I said, it was all very informal. And we certainly didn't have dancing! lol

 

[BamanPiderman]

I'd just choose to sign papers and be done with it. I'm not bothered to appear in front of 247927437429742 people. I'm more against having to wear a dress and kiss in public. I really doubt they'd let a female wear a suit in her wedding.

Clearly you've never seen Misha Collins' wedding photos (who is a dude by the way - Castiel from the TV series Supernatural). He wore a dress and she wore a suit to their wedding. You can Google it.

 

[1BlackSheep]

Having to be the centre of attention in front of loads of people, to have a camera on you, and to have pics taken of you (which i hate), and to possibly give some type of speech. plus having to endear yourself to your in laws and go to functions hosted by them or your family. This is the stuff of nightmares, for heaven sake!!! ::

Yea, I couldn't handle having so much focus put on me! No way, no how, no sir-eee!

I'd rather just elope and spend the money on an awesome honeymoon!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Deep down inside I would like to have a big wedding. To have the personality, the guts, the money, big family and loads of friends to make it happen. It looks like fun! In reality I would have no one to invite, and I'd be freaking out about having my picture taken. No fun. I do get down because I won't have these experiences ever. Never say never and all that, but it is extremely unlikely. Oh well! :idontknow:

 

[drganon]

I'd be pretty nervous with a big church wedding myself, even though nobody really is looking at the groom really. That and I would have a real hard time finding a best man. I have no real close male friends, and the only living members of my family I'm close to are all women. At the end of the day though, whatever my soon to be wife wanted to do, I'd go with. Big church wedding or just going to a courthouse, the fact that she wanted to spend the rest of her life( for the sake of this thread we leave the possibility of divorce out) with me would be good enough.

 

[Earthcircle]

When i hear someone who's married say they have SA i find it hard to believe that they have it. There is NO WAY that i could stand up in front of loads of people and say vows, dance etc I know SA is different for everyone but it just makes me wonder. I also see people with profile pictures and they're out clubbing or with a group of friends and i just think "you don't have social anxiety!" :no:

I've had similar thoughts. When I read someone on this or a similar forum talking about their spouse or children, I think "What? How did that happen?" It makes me feel a little jealous really. I think, I must have really bad SA, because I don't know how to find a significant other. (I think being gay makes it worse. Perhaps heterosexuals with SA can form relationships, somehow.)

 

[Earthcircle]

I may have misunderstood what this thread is about. I don't know how anyone with SA can form a relationship. I can't.

 

[cocorose]

I am also confused, for me the problem would be actually meeting someone that understood me, and would actually want to marry me.. if I found that, everything else would be trivial I would think.. but I don't see that happening anytime soon anyway.

I'm guessing there are different levels of SA, and my case must be pretty bad. It affects not only the outer layer but is embedded deep in my mind and affects every aspect of my life.

 

[Klonoa]

I'm sure I'd be so nervous my stomatch would ache... but I'm such a hopeless romantic, I can't help it but wish for my wedding to be a perfect one and had picked the right girl. I'd be so in love, I wouldn't make a fuss about the wedding and just try to go along....

 

[akala]

They'll probably have smaller weddings with people in their comfort zone. My family has traditions of weddings with 300+ people it's ridiculous.