How do people with SA get married?

WishingICould · Feb 1, 2013

When i hear someone who's married say they have SA i find it hard to believe that they have it. There is NO WAY that i could stand up in front of loads of people and say vows, dance etc I know SA is different for everyone but it just makes me wonder. I also see people with profile pictures and they're out clubbing or with a group of friends and i just think "you don't have social anxiety!" :no:

Lamb · Feb 1, 2013

Perhaps small ceremonial weddings are manageable for some, while others may go to a city hall, while others have a big wedding because they have a large family they can't object to. For all we know they may be on an anxiety reducing medication or have had a couple of drinks prior, even just dieing in their skin at the moment.

Same can be said about clubbing. I can push myself to go if there are people I feel comfortable with and or if I have some alcohol in my system to help relax. It doesn't mean the process of pushing myself to go isn't dreadful and I don't have SA. Interesting post, curious to see what others say.

WishingICould · Feb 1, 2013

I do believe people with SA can get married. Of course they can, but i just find it hard to understand how they could do it.

ImNotMyIllness · Feb 1, 2013

If my future wife wanted a wedding I would do it. But, I would love to elope and have a ceremony for just the two of us(and the guy marrying us), somewhere remote and romantic. Maybe on a beach, or an old castle in Ireland....I think Ireland is very romantic.

jaim38 · Feb 1, 2013

Or you can have a shotgun wedding in Las Vegas. Or you can skip the whole wedding ceremony and just sign the papers.

WishingICould · Feb 1, 2013

jaim38 said:
Or you can have a shotgun wedding in Las Vegas. Or you can skip the whole wedding ceremony and just sign the papers.

I'm talking about a proper wedding ceremony.

Section_31 · Feb 1, 2013

I was ok at my wedding primarily because i knew everyone there, and my best man was my cousin whos also like a brother to me, and he did his best to keep the bubble maintained a bit so i could have recharge time.

My wife was a nervous wreck and the doctor gave her some nuclear calmdown medication so she could go through with the ceremony.

All in all, i honestly wouldnt do it again. CIty hall and court would be way simpler, faster, and less of a goddamn religious headache.

ImNotMyIllness · Feb 1, 2013

What a nice daydream. We ride together on a white horse to a beautiful and secluded area on top of a mountain and say our vows.

Or, one or both of us may have to pop a pill and do the ceremony thing.

Section_31 · Feb 1, 2013

ImNotMyIllness said:
What a nice daydream. We ride together on a white horse to a beautiful and secluded area on top of a mountain and say our vows.

Or, one or both of us may have to pop a pill and do the ceremony thing.

^ that made me LOL, lol, its true!

WishingICould · Feb 1, 2013

ImNotMyIllness said:
Or, one or both of us may have to pop a pill and do the ceremony thing.

:ironicsmile:

coyote · Feb 1, 2013

power through it, puke later

a few shots of schnapps in the cloakroom

try not to let everyone see how much you're trembling

Starry · Feb 1, 2013

When I got married my husband and I had a very small ceremony - just 4 members of his family and 4 of mine, plus the Vicar. I was trembling terribly throughout and I semi-fainted part way through. Afterwards we all came back home for an hour to eat food and cake which I had made. All of which was far less fear inducing than going anywhere else would have been.

planemo · Feb 1, 2013

I too wonder how people with SA get married.

On a personal note i can't see it happening for me. Having to be the centre of attention in front of loads of people, to have a camera on you, and to have pics taken of you (which i hate), and to possibly give some type of speech. plus having to endear yourself to your in laws and go to functions hosted by them or your family. This is the stuff of nightmares, for heaven sake!!! :

:

plus who the heck would i invite? i can genuinely think of only one person i would want to invite.

h:

coyote · Feb 1, 2013

planemo said:
I too wonder how people with SA get married.

On a personal note i can't see it happening for me. Having to be the centre of attention in front of loads of people, to have a camera on you, and to have pics taken of you (which i hate), and to possibly give some type of speech. plus having to endear yourself to your in laws and go to functions hosted by them or your family. This is the stuff of nightmares, for heaven sake!!! ::

plus who the heck would i invite? i can genuinely think of only one person i would want to invite. h:

men have it easier, everyone is mostly paying attention to the bride

it's her show, really. the groom is just there for decoration.

planemo · Feb 1, 2013

coyote said:
men have it easier, everyone is mostly paying attention to the bride

it's her show, really. the groom is just there for decoration.

even if that be true and every person there assured me of it, knowing the way my mind works i'd still feel like the centre of attention.

h:

WishingICould · Feb 1, 2013

Starry said:
When I got married my husband and I had a very small ceremony - just 4 members of his family and 4 of mine, plus the Vicar. I was trembling terribly throughout and I semi-fainted part way through. Afterwards we all came back home for an hour to eat food and cake which I had made. All of which was far less fear inducing than going anywhere else would have been.

Aww. Bless you. You got through it though. That's the main thing.

SilentAndShy · Feb 1, 2013

It's OK for you guys and girls - you have just ONE day.

For me, as a British Pakistani, we have our weddings over a period of a week that involve a number of ceremonies that culminate on the weekend. Luckily, at the moment, I'm under no pressure to get married - because I can't find one or don't want to say yes to the option available - so I can avoid it for a while

But I hope when the time comes that mentally, physically - I'll be in a better place to try and enjoy it.

Opaline · Feb 1, 2013

I do have SA, but the idea of being married in a traditional ceremony with a large audience doesn't bother me at all. I don't really have a problem with speeches or presentations though, either. I get nervous but I don't get so nervous that I can't function. I guess it really does depend on the severity of your SA. I know I am socially phobic because I can be socially awkward, and I have trouble being assertive as well as some other things. I guess I just don't have it severely.

There are some things I see other people doing that I can't imagine ever doing, though. Like Youtube prankster celebrities such as Ed Bassmaster - man must have cojones of steel, haha.

PGT · Feb 1, 2013

WishingICould said:
When i hear someone who's married say they have SA i find it hard to believe that they have it. There is NO WAY that i could stand up in front of loads of people and say vows, dance etc I know SA is different for everyone but it just makes me wonder. I also see people with profile pictures and they're out clubbing or with a group of friends and i just think "you don't have social anxiety!" :no:

Exactly 100% what I think. The thought of standing in front of all them people makes my stomach turn. I couldn't do it.

Kiwong · Feb 1, 2013

I can give a talk in front of hundreds of people.

One on my communication is my problem, my anxiety is more obvious.

How do people with SA get married?

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