How can I stop feeling so worthless?

Srijita52

Well-known member
Okay I know I've really bad social skills, I can't hold a decent conversation, awful at making eye contacts, I've got really bad body language too and I need to work on them and a few other things as well. Its only natural that people won't want to talk to me that much, it makes sense, why would they? And I'm trying to improve but I also know it'll take a while. So why can't I be a little patient and not end up severely depressed when people don't seem interested in talking to me or when I make a fool out of myself? And it never helps as these negative thoughts prevent me from thinking straight. Is there anyway to get rid of this feeling or atleast control it?
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
When you set specific goals for yourself, make sure they are reasonable given a time frame. As you make progress, compare yourself not to others, but to your own past behaviors.

Also, while it may not be a factor for you, consider this:

408280_471079716247545_697286227_n.jpg
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I wish I could give you a big hug! I know how you feel. Your illness is concealing who you really are. You have trouble connecting with people because of it.

I know, it really sucks!
 

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
That is a great quote NWP. Those peoples opinions should mean less than nothing.

Try to remember that having all those skills isn't what makes you important. I am sure there are plenty of other reasons people enjoy talking to you. I too feel like crap when I looked like an idiot with nothing to tallk about or not making eye contact, etc but I know it's mostly just my perception and not how the conversation actually went. For me, being a thoughtful and consciensetious person is much more improtant than how clever or confident someone is. I ddin't always think that was true but after meeting so many jerks that were very charming and funny and had the gift of gab, I started thinking that it wasn't as important as I had once thought. I am not sure how you can stop feeling that way but I hope you figure it out.
 

Lea

Banned
Being awkward is exhausting,otherwise I personally don't mind what people think of me. I FEEL people's natural reaction to my "performance" should be negative,so when some look past it and are understanding,I feel awfully grateful and like I don't deserve it.Sorry for the capitals,this iPad is doing spiteful things.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
You're trying, and it's a very slow process to get better. You will get there in the end.

Big hugs to you, Srijita.
 

cowboyup

Well-known member
When you set specific goals for yourself, make sure they are reasonable given a time frame. As you make progress, compare yourself not to others, but to your own past behaviors.

Also, while it may not be a factor for you, consider this:

408280_471079716247545_697286227_n.jpg


@NPW- I actually printed this up when I saw it on another website. I use it as a bookmark, lol
 

cowboyup

Well-known member
Okay I know I've really bad social skills, I can't hold a decent conversation, awful at making eye contacts, I've got really bad body language too and I need to work on them and a few other things as well. Its only natural that people won't want to talk to me that much, it makes sense, why would they? And I'm trying to improve but I also know it'll take a while. So why can't I be a little patient and not end up severely depressed when people don't seem interested in talking to me or when I make a fool out of myself? And it never helps as these negative thoughts prevent me from thinking straight. Is there anyway to get rid of this feeling or atleast control it?


Srijita - I too, wish I could give you a great big hug {{HUGS}}

Unfortunately I don't know how to actually 'stop' feelings of worthlessness as I too, feel the way you do at times and it really is sucky. I guess if you know your body language is poor, or you don't make much eye contact, then the first step is acknowledgment, right? Try to read up on techniques on how to improve your posture, body language and maybe practice looking yourself in the eye, in a mirror? I've done this before and is somewhat helpful - if only I can remember to do these things in public, I'd be set....perhaps easier said than done, but worth a shot!

BIG HUGS :)
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Thanks for your kind comments everyone and the hugs. ^_^
NWP, its a very nice quote. I do believe there maybe a few jerks around me although most are decent people. I had to deal with a very abusive friend for a certain period of time untill I finally had enough and I've been feeling better since.
Anyway, I was thinking about this earlier and maybe I'm feeling like this because I'm getting a little desperate and expecting too much too soon?
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I had to deal with a very abusive friend for a certain period of time untill I finally had enough and I've been feeling better since.
I'm sorry. I had to sever ties with someone not even a week ago for similar reasons. You feel like a bastard doing it, but it's for the best sometimes.

What are you expecting?
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I'm sorry. I had to sever ties with someone not even a week ago for similar reasons. You feel like a bastard doing it, but it's for the best sometimes.

What are you expecting?

Exactly. Its not a good feeling at all. But sometimes its worth it.
I'm expecting people to take me seriously, you know as opposed to "the girl who rambles but never makes sense", I'm also getting tired of being "the girl who nobody knows exists" or "the girl who never does anything fun". I don't want to be that girl anymore.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Exactly. Its not a good feeling at all. But sometimes its worth it.
I'm expecting people to take me seriously, you know as opposed to "the girl who rambles but never makes sense", I'm also getting tired of being "the girl who nobody knows exists" or "the girl who never does anything fun". I don't want to be that girl anymore.
I think you're great the way you are, but if you want to change, you have to force it at first, and that's the hard part: trying to forcefully alter your personality and letting people know that you're there and that you want to be noticed. In university, it can be hard if people have already made friends and have their own cliques.

I don't really know what else to say. One big Australian hug for you.
 

hardy

Well-known member
Okay I know I've really bad social skills, I can't hold a decent conversation, awful at making eye contacts, I've got really bad body language too and I need to work on them and a few other things as well. Its only natural that people won't want to talk to me that much, it makes sense, why would they? And I'm trying to improve but I also know it'll take a while. So why can't I be a little patient and not end up severely depressed when people don't seem interested in talking to me or when I make a fool out of myself? And it never helps as these negative thoughts prevent me from thinking straight. Is there anyway to get rid of this feeling or atleast control it?

srijitha...here's my thoughts..ignore if they are not useful. Just suffer...don't try and become the good communicator....be the sad unpleasant sufferer that you are. You(us) will never become a good communicator....cause you already are perfect...it's just that your(our) thoughts aren't letting you see things clearly. Give up the hope of becoming a good communicator please.....you can't improve an already perfect thing.

Just suffer this ordeal....the anxiety, the unpleasantness in social settings.....let it kill you....be the unpleasant b**** around people....be the bad****.....be the unpleasant one for this whole life.....believe me there is no way out....we are prisoners and we have to do our time.....there is no easy answer....we have to suffer....and i think facing it gets you to learn more than escaping the pain.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
^Thank you both, you're really very kind.
I'm not too dissatisfied with who I am. I don't want to change myself either. I just want to learn some new traits, e.g being a little more expressive and just generally learning to have a better time with others. I agree Mikey, I'm trying to force myself, I think I'm a bit lucky that I'm among a friendly bunch who are open to give new people a chance.
 

planemo

Well-known member
Being awkward is exhausting,otherwise I personally don't mind what people think of me. I FEEL people's natural reaction to my "performance" should be negative,so when some look past it and are understanding,I feel awfully grateful and like I don't deserve it.Sorry for the capitals,this iPad is doing spiteful things.

i agree, being awkward is exhausting.

but Sri it shouldn't make you feel worthless. maybe we just have to accept our lack of social skills and not be too hard on ourselves. the problem is that seemingly everyone else doesn't have this problem, so feeling inept is a difficult thing to deal with.

but hang in there. :)
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Exactly. Its not a good feeling at all. But sometimes its worth it.
I'm expecting people to take me seriously, you know as opposed to "the girl who rambles but never makes sense", I'm also getting tired of being "the girl who nobody knows exists" or "the girl who never does anything fun". I don't want to be that girl anymore.

:applause: I'm proud of you! That's the spirit!!
 
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