I deserve an Oscar for my performance in this life. I have tried so hard to be good. To help others and make a difference their lives. To be strong, to look strong, to smile and to love and to laugh. I make people feel safe. People look to me for leadership. :

:
What a ****ing joke. I am seething with hatred and rage, and when I am not I am terrified. My smile is a lie I hate mankind. I hate banks and and rich people for the raping they have done to the people. Religions for the billions of deaths and wars they have caused. I hate leaders for their lies and followers for their ignorance. I hate Industry for what it has done to the world. I hate humans for what we have done to animals. I hate myself for the pain I want to inflict on others, I also hate myself for the pain I don't inflict on others. I hate myself for how afraid this makes me. Afraid ......... all the time. Afraid of the sky, but afraid of a cell. Afraid of travelling but being afraid I will never leave. Most of all I am afraid that my children will see their daddy for the monster that he really is.
I think it only shows that you are a caring person.
You are human. Humans have emotions.
Lots of times we weren't taught what to do with the emotions!!
Emotions can be powerful and can bring about beautiful change...
Maybe you can start volunteering time or money to a non-profit helping animals and/or the poor and changing the world to be a better place? Hey, maybe you can even start one?
Maybe you can even go volunteer together with the girls or as a family? There are programs like that...
Many awesome people can often feel 'fake'... I sometimes have felt the same too.. You don't have to be perfect to make good things happen..
I think some of us may like you even more now that we know you are not just smiles and happiness... It makes it easier to relate to someone... I can feel guilty next to a 'happy' person, but knowing some of the same things that make me angry make you angry too, makes me happy.. Because I have hope that together we can perhaps make a difference!!
If lots of people get angry enough (but not too much) we can change the world!! The trick is to use this anger as energy to make things better...
It's difficult to be a good person in these times, and I think you are...