How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
alienin2004
Member
not too good..recovering from an illness..awake during nights and asleep during days..bad routine..and x-mas n new years coming up and i have no plans..No friends I could spend it with.. 
Starry
Well-known member
I don't really know how I'm feeling...
I've made a huge effort this past week, and I know this sounds pathetic, but I managed to walk to the tree near my house. Yes, it's only 20 or so steps from my front gate, but I haven't gone more than three steps from my front gate for over four years; (I'm totally housebound with agoraphobia) Then it was only to get into taxis for things like doctors appointments when I HAD to go. (I'm okay inside cars :roll: Though start panicking when I get out and enter the doctors/dentist etc... ) It took a lot of effort and I found it very stressful, but I got to the tree. Which I was pleased about. Problem is, There isn't another 'landmark' for me to aim for besides the end of the street, and that's too far. I already felt like an idiot just turning round and walking back home when I got to the tree. But just turning round in the middle of the street is even worse. So I feel like I'm still stuck at zero. :?
I've made a huge effort this past week, and I know this sounds pathetic, but I managed to walk to the tree near my house. Yes, it's only 20 or so steps from my front gate, but I haven't gone more than three steps from my front gate for over four years; (I'm totally housebound with agoraphobia) Then it was only to get into taxis for things like doctors appointments when I HAD to go. (I'm okay inside cars :roll: Though start panicking when I get out and enter the doctors/dentist etc... ) It took a lot of effort and I found it very stressful, but I got to the tree. Which I was pleased about. Problem is, There isn't another 'landmark' for me to aim for besides the end of the street, and that's too far. I already felt like an idiot just turning round and walking back home when I got to the tree. But just turning round in the middle of the street is even worse. So I feel like I'm still stuck at zero. :?
Starry
Well-known member
Pathetic and rejected. My only online friend has a live Journal account. She's been feeling pretty bad over the past few days because a guy she really likes has got a new girlfriend. I've posted comments, but they were pretty useless. She hasn't replied to my comments, but she's replied to others' so I'm feeling like she is rejecting me. :?
:?
ash_2001
Well-known member
Hehe, great analogy, vern!
Starry, I'm sure that most people were too busy with their own lives to even look at you, let alone register what it is that you were actually doing and why.
I find that I always feel better if I reassure myself with some excuse even if it's fake for doing whatever it is that I choose to do. You could always pretend that you're about to leave the house, but have simply forgotten something and so you need to come back.
A parked car or a piece of garbage lying on the pavement could perhaps be your next marker?? Otherwise, you'll just have to plant another tree or a bush or something :wink:
Starry
Well-known member
^^^ Hehe, planting a tree sounds like a good idea, especially as two have been cut down recently. :lol: The parked car is probably the best idea for me to try.
You're right, people probably are too busy with their own lives to care or notice me. But I still have the nagging feeling. :? Stupid social phobia.
Thanks for the hugs Nev_Vern.
The parked car is probably the best idea for me to try.You're right, people probably are too busy with their own lives to care or notice me. But I still have the nagging feeling. :? Stupid social phobia.
Thanks for the hugs Nev_Vern.
scatmantom
Well-known member
I feel bored. Ive got so much revision and work to do before I go back to uni, but there are many better things to do such as watching TV and the internet!
Starry
Well-known member
Miserable:
I'm going through a depressive stage at the moment. I'm now 21, (Today in fact ) I've done nothing since school. It doesn't look like I'll be doing anything in the near future. I actually went to bed last night thinking it would be better if I was dead. That from a girl who is so scared of dying it's crazy. It was talking to my nieces that did it. (They've been here for a few days) They have such good friends that they laugh with, can be themselves around, can hug and talk to. One has her boyfriend. They have dreams and aspirations. I have no friends. When I did I couldn't be myself around them, let alone laugh, hug and talk to them about personal stuff to. I've just about given up on dreams and aspirations. I have nothing. I'm worthless. I'm miserable.
I'm going through a depressive stage at the moment. I'm now 21, (Today in fact
) I've done nothing since school. It doesn't look like I'll be doing anything in the near future. I actually went to bed last night thinking it would be better if I was dead. That from a girl who is so scared of dying it's crazy. It was talking to my nieces that did it. (They've been here for a few days) They have such good friends that they laugh with, can be themselves around, can hug and talk to. One has her boyfriend. They have dreams and aspirations. I have no friends. When I did I couldn't be myself around them, let alone laugh, hug and talk to them about personal stuff to. I've just about given up on dreams and aspirations. I have nothing. I'm worthless. I'm miserable. 
sickofbeinglonely
Well-known member
Very depressed.
Starry
Well-known member
Miserable, pathetic and stupid.
Just been called pathetic and stupid by my mum because I wouldn't let her look at some pictures I'd taken of myself. I know it's stupid, but I can't stand anyone looking at pictures of me while I'm present. But she doesn't understand that so got angry with me.
Like I didn't already know I was pathetic and stupid! I didn't need to be told! :x
Just been called pathetic and stupid by my mum because I wouldn't let her look at some pictures I'd taken of myself. I know it's stupid, but I can't stand anyone looking at pictures of me while I'm present. But she doesn't understand that so got angry with me.
Like I didn't already know I was pathetic and stupid! I didn't need to be told! :x
plainsofserenity
Well-known member
That terrible Starry. and that it comes from someone who's suppose to have your best interests at heart. She obviously can't understand the effect she is having when she says things like that.
Because you know that not showing pictures, for whatever reason, is not the result of being pathetic or stupid, you should be asking yourself what is going on in mom's mind for her to say something obviously false.
When I taught English and had the kids develop character sketches one of the item to look at was 'What did the character say?' because that often reflects more on the character than on who or what the comment was directed toward or about.
Because you know that not showing pictures, for whatever reason, is not the result of being pathetic or stupid, you should be asking yourself what is going on in mom's mind for her to say something obviously false.
When I taught English and had the kids develop character sketches one of the item to look at was 'What did the character say?' because that often reflects more on the character than on who or what the comment was directed toward or about.
Chriswinnipeg
Active member
hopeless
Starry
Well-known member
plainsofserenity said:
She's slightly depressed and she gets frustrated with the situation I'm in. So whenever I do something that shows her how bad my Social Phobia is she gets angry. She doesn't understand social phobia at all, it's totally beyond her. She also blames herself for the way I am. (I don't though, I think it's mostly genetic and bullying that's turned me into me)
Anyway, I'm feeling a little better now after a good night's sleep.
sabbath92001
Banned
I feel like Hell! New Year's Eve at about 11am my back went out carrying some groceries into the house. Since then I've been stuck in bed with excruciating pain. I'm trying not to eat or drink because going to the bathrrom is torture. Just goes to show how we usually take simple things (like walking) for granted. Anyway I want to wish everyone a happy and HEALTHY New Year!!!
shyandnumb
Well-known member
I feel kind of paranoria, excited, and anxious. I just get over reading 20 different ghost stories on a certain site and my spring term is about to begin this month. My Fin. Aid is giving me too many problems, too. So, you can say that I'm very stressed right now.
