Housebound for life.

[1BlackSheep]

OceanM-well i think the older members here(30s and 40s) basically went through the same thing you are right now.forcing yourself out socially or into relationships and they sat back and looked at the effort versus reward and came to the conclusion it was lopsided in favor of effort..so they somehow came to accept themselves for who they are and decided to isolate themselves.they found enough hobbies to give them contentment and have somehow accepted their lives.you may have more social endurance than them or may enjoy socializing more than they did, have less anxiety, its hard to say..

in my case eventhough i have hobbies i just cant see myself becoming a recluse and being 'fine' with it.no matter how i would try and justify it or whatever mental magic tricks i try to use, i just wouldnt be able to accept that lifestyle.problem is, i rarely enjoy socializing, the effort i put into it is rarely worth the reward i get out of it.about the only reason i go out and socialize anymore is because it makes me fee more normal..

+1 to all of the above!

 

[Feathers]

gosh, long post written but disappeared - ! yikes!

you never know what the future brings (if you do, please give me lottery numbers!!)

it's good to expand 'comfort zone' a bit!

it's not 'all or nothing' - I've had times where I wished to be alone more, or more with people - depends what kind of people they are too!!
And what kind of activities - I hate 'socializing' for 'socializing sake' - there has to be a good reason behind it (eg good music and dancing, social networking/expanding network of useful contacts, good food , doing good work - eco/creative projects, volunteering, helping people, learning on workshops or courses etc)

I also admire some older members who have found a good BALANCE for them!!

Just staying indoors/behind computer all day = not so healthy...

As for living 'on other people's taxes'... most people didn't really start their life thinking 'oh I wish to live off other people's paychecks'... or 'when I grow up I want to be on social support' - where I live there is little career coaching/support available, education in schools often doesn't prepare people for 'the real world'... and since world population has grown, technology expanded, there is less need for 'workers'...
Social support may cost the country/taxpayers much less than some bad decisions of people who 'work'!!
Where I live a new law says people will need to 'pay back' with their real estate anyway!!

Some 'hikikomoris' or recluses have earnt a lot of money, some maybe need to find out HOW!!

 

[Nanita]

When I get out of the house, I enjoy solitary and independent activities the most.
Going for a run, taking nature photos. Even the activities I do involving people I enjoy most in my own company. I find trying to interact with people is too intense and creates a lot of sadness in me when I fail.

Me too, me too.

Let's throw away the word, normal. That word is silly and meaningless here. I still don't understand why so much of society thinks being normal=healthy.
I think we should ignore what society thinks we should be doing, because they aren't us, they are them.

... Well said

 

[OceanMist]

It's not about being normal. It's about what humans desire.

We may all have different DNA, but we are all the same in the sense that we are all human beings. All human beings are wired to desire real life human connection and human approval. When that desire is not met for long periods of time, you will be depressed and lonely, whether you can recognize or not.

As humans, we aren't meant to be an island. We just aren't. No matter how anti-social we are. It's possible to be in pain and not be able to label it. I used to be that way until I realized how much I was suffering.

I get the whole wanting alone time thing. That's all fair and well, I know I need my fair share of alone time. But avoiding people entirely for long amounts of time will leave you feeling empty inside, I don't care how much you like being alone. I've been there for much of my life.

 

[Ten]

It's not about being normal. It's about what humans desire.

We may all have different DNA, but we are all the same in the sense that we are all human beings. All human beings are wired to desire real life human connection and human approval. When that desire is not met for long periods of time, you will be depressed and lonely, whether you can recognize or not.

As humans, we aren't meant to be an island. We just aren't. No matter how anti-social we are. It's possible to be in pain and not be able to label it. I used to be that way until I realized how much I was suffering.

I get the whole wanting alone time thing. That's all fair and well, I know I need my fair share of alone time. But avoiding people entirely for long amounts of time will leave you feeling empty inside, I don't care how much you like being alone. I've been there for much of my life.

We should all move to an island. ;D It'd be the best island ever.

 

[Azael]

It's not about being normal. It's about what humans desire.

We may all have different DNA, but we are all the same in the sense that we are all human beings. All human beings are wired to desire real life human connection and human approval. When that desire is not met for long periods of time, you will be depressed and lonely, whether you can recognize or not.

As humans, we aren't meant to be an island. We just aren't. No matter how anti-social we are. It's possible to be in pain and not be able to label it. I used to be that way until I realized how much I was suffering.

I get the whole wanting alone time thing. That's all fair and well, I know I need my fair share of alone time. But avoiding people entirely for long amounts of time will leave you feeling empty inside, I don't care how much you like being alone. I've been there for much of my life.

It's a joy to read this post. I have tried vehemently to explain how DNA really works but unfortunately most do not wish to understand it. We are wired to be social beings, that is fact, end of story. No human being has ever been able to dissociate themselves from that fact without dire consequences.

 

[bsammy]

"we are wired to be social beings"

this is a very broad statment.can you explain what this means? i agree with it to a point..what do you think of schizoids?