Hitting Myself When Angry/Frustrated

[Auburn]

I get easily frustrated with myself because I suspect my own expectations are stupid high.

Whenever I mess up I tend to lash out. 'Lash out' probably sounds more intense than it actually is. I throw something, dig my nails into skin, or I bash my hand/arm on things and usually (especially) my head. I've never bled or bruised (or at least bruises aren't common) from doing it unless I've bit really hard on my lip or something.

It can be over dumb stuff like not being able to draw that day or getting frustrated in a game and hitting the controller on my head.

This is also probably going to sound odd but I have this constant feeling of needing to scream as loud as I possibly can into some valley or something. It's something I wish I could do. Just to get it all out ya know.

I guess I have a lot of pent up anger maybe. It seems ironic considering my small build.

I feel really crazy tensed up all the time because of it. I haven't really found a way to vent it all.

 

[O'Killian]

I have a long-time (online) friend with a similar issue. I've obviously never witnessed it, but he often confides into me that he'll get angry, usually over a game, and start hitting himself. When he's in his worst moods, he'll even say he wants to cause serious harm to himself like this. It's legitimately scary.

I mainly say this because I know his expectations are, frankly, super whack. We've been playing Team Fortress, Overwatch, and the like for years and in any competitive environment, when he gets worked up he will oscillate between blaming his team and declaring himself the worst player. For the most part he's a cool guy, and much less prone to this in a co-op setting. I can't tell exactly what the trigger is - does frustration cause him to doubt himself, or does doubting himself cause frustration? - but regardless, at some point there's an unrealistic standard he doesn't think he's meeting.

I wish I could provide some actual insight into how he manages the problem - I've often told him, and he sometimes follows the advice, that bowing out when he starts getting frustrated so he can cool down is better than getting to that point. Unfortunately, he's also very stubborn, so he's quite capable of getting himself in a feedback loop.

That's probably all the advice I'm qualified to give, though - the important thing about anger is learning to head it off at the pass, which is harder than it sounds.

 

[S_Spartan]

Sometimes if I'm driving in some desolate place with noone around I will scream as loud as I can in my car to let it all out. I always feel more relaxed after that.

 

[Megaten]

I used to have a huge problem with hitting or breaking things when mad. It's just as bad as hitting yourself since its easy to hurt your hands. I've kinda gotten to that age though where I just go from disappointed to depression and bypass anger altogether.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I feel like doing this right now. I deserve it.

 

[mantishugo]

I think you guys need to calm down and do some mediation for peace or take a break from your regular routine life. Add exercises, juicing and nature to your day today routine.

 

[Graeme1988]

I think you guys need to calm down and do some mediation for peace or take a break from your regular routine life. Add exercises, juicing and nature to your day today routine.

While I agree with you, it's finding the time to meditate and exercise that proves difficult at times. Also, getting out in nature is easier said than done. Unless you happen to live in the countryside.

Not that I haven't given meditation a bash. It just proved difficult, since I still live with family who are less than accomidating or respectful about my routine. Got discouraged with it, really. Mainly because my family would interrupt me while I was sitting quietly, ask what the hell I was doing, then insult me when I explained it.

But my family have always look down upon things that are outside of their culture or understanding. Like my interest in eastern philosophy.

As for exercising, my family thought my routine of a hour per day was a bit obsessive - was it? :question: And I'd imagine they'll look at me like an idea if I start juicing. My family aren't exactly ones for embrassing the idea of living a healthy lifestyle, that's as kindly as I can word it. But they commend me for having the willing power to do it.

So I haven't attempted to get back into doing all the things you suggested regularly. Though, I would if I could afford to live on my own.

 

[Gunther]

I feel so too sometime but i calm myself down :[

 

[defiance]

I deserve to have to living s**t beat out of me because I am a useless good for nothing loser.