i dont know about everyone here but personally dont feel having sa is such a bad personal trait. but because "society" shuns (is that a good word?) it...i feel like i'm a failure as a person. i dont mind telling someone i'm shy. if they have a problem with it...i wouldnt want to know that person. but then i probably wont make many friends...like what i have now lol. i'm sure all of you think i'm crazy :?
have you ever thought its not you...its society?
- Thread starter jordo
- Start date
I don't think that society is a very nice place, it can be pretty ugly sometimes. I'm not going to blame it though. I don't think being shy is a bad thing in general. It just gets a lot harder when you are to the extreme of being terrified of pretty much everything.
It's not all societies fault, it also has to do with ourselves. I know that my brain is chemically imbalanced and I'm sure that's part of the problem too. It would be nice if society better accepted shy people, but I don't think they are totally shunned either. We can't just wait for the world and everything around us to change, you have to change yourself as well.
It's not all societies fault, it also has to do with ourselves. I know that my brain is chemically imbalanced and I'm sure that's part of the problem too. It would be nice if society better accepted shy people, but I don't think they are totally shunned either. We can't just wait for the world and everything around us to change, you have to change yourself as well.
dottie
Well-known member
Remus said:
exactly. humans are animals not meant for such an unnatural lifestyle. it is not natural to wake up at ungodly hours to start work at 8am, be there for exactly 9 hours a day (i include the lunch hour as a work hour because you still have to be at/around work against your will), drive home, have an hour or two with little energy left to yourself, go to sleep and repeat it the next day. this is not freedom. i appreciate the comforts it brings- having running water, heat, light, electricity, internet, ability to drive to different locations on those little two days at the end of the week that you have to yourself. but to gain these things we have to do such unnatural, detailed things and it brings so much stress.
plus the social expectations get more and more extreme and narrowed. you are expected to have more money, be totally independant, look a certain way, express body language a certain way. you are expected to be everything these days: sexy, smart, independant, hard working, humorous, outgoing, confident, accomplished, financially stable, athletic, creative, environmentally concious. you are expected to be a homeowner with a nice lawn, get married, shit out some kids, drive a nice clean car. you are expected to be and do all of these bullshit conformist things while busting your ass in a job you hate with a huge facade of a smile on your face that says you can handle it all! that you are on top of the game! no problem in the world! specific social expectations are calculated for every possible action you could take as a human being. it is SOCIETY, not you.
you're perfect the way you are. it is society that is so fucked up. we are not machines that fit into a "perfect" mold. society makes me sick.
dottie
Well-known member
adding more...
is there such a thing as chemical imbalance?
i am too lazy to dig up statistics right now but think of all the people in the world. think of all of the people that experience depression, anxiety, or some "mental disorder." at least half of the people in the world have something going on upstairs. if that many people in the world are experiencing this- is it REALLY an "imbalance?" is there really a "disorder" in people? no. because it is so normal.
we just can't publicly address it because of social bullshit expectations of perfectionism. show no weakness. just take a happy pill and fall into line, sheep. that is the social bandaid and how it is addressed under the radar.
is there such a thing as chemical imbalance?
i am too lazy to dig up statistics right now but think of all the people in the world. think of all of the people that experience depression, anxiety, or some "mental disorder." at least half of the people in the world have something going on upstairs. if that many people in the world are experiencing this- is it REALLY an "imbalance?" is there really a "disorder" in people? no. because it is so normal.
we just can't publicly address it because of social bullshit expectations of perfectionism. show no weakness. just take a happy pill and fall into line, sheep. that is the social bandaid and how it is addressed under the radar.
worrywort
Well-known member
jordo said:
DEFINITELY!!!! The major source of my pain has come from all the times I've opened my mouth, and somebody else has laughed or mocked or belittled me and embarrassed me and made me feel small. Which is not a nice feeling and so I try to avoid it as much as pos nowadays......thus....SA
I NEVER belittle other people.....at least I try very hard not to.....there's very little a person could do that would make me look down upon them. Human beings are a messed up bunch man.
and who say's being quiet and reserved is a bad thing? Maybe the loud extroverted people should quieten down!.... although I don't think I really believe that.....but I do wish people would be far more understanding and respectful of others.
But even though I think it is largely the fault of other people I also think psychedlicious is right that we can't just wait around for the world to change....this is just the way the world is and if we want to function, we just have to figure it out.
remus said:
yea man, totally!....1000's of years of humans living very sheltered natural lives and then suddenly, just the last 100 years or so we've been jolted into this hyper fast paced technological age.....it's no wonder there's so much depression and meaninglessness around!
dottie said:
Well maybe before you say that, you should consider that I have something other than just social phobia, which actually IS caused my a chemical imbalance in my brain. I've even had my head scanned before. Next time check your facts.
Ajuna24
Well-known member
Modern-day slavery has a big effect on our lives.
Both depression and anxiety are becomming bigger problems in this world by the day.
Do yourself a favor and watch this video. Yes, the whole thing.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?d...I4-w2AKs-6EK&q=zeitgeist+addendum&emb=1&dur=3
...
Also, on the subject of chemical imbalance in the brain... (which is just a theory by the way) I'd like to quote wikipedia.
Both depression and anxiety are becomming bigger problems in this world by the day.
Do yourself a favor and watch this video. Yes, the whole thing.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?d...I4-w2AKs-6EK&q=zeitgeist+addendum&emb=1&dur=3
...
Also, on the subject of chemical imbalance in the brain... (which is just a theory by the way) I'd like to quote wikipedia.
Moonie
Well-known member
Dottie, your post was so well written! I agree.
I blame society for some things. Society is the reason I won't get ahead in work. If I am not outgoing, I don't suck up, therefore, it's hard for me to get ahead. Even though I don't fool around and I am a great worker. I'll get screwed in the end.
The thing that bothers me most is that shyness, quietness, being an introvert - whatever you may want to call it- is looked down upon. Why am I embarrassed to say I am any of these things? Extroverted people always flaunt their personality traits "I'm so outgoing. I'm not shy at all. I'm bubbly." Blah. Blah. Blah. I don't mind being quiet, but I HATE that it's a bad thing. I hate that I embarrassed with it. I wish I was okay with it. But, I guess I am falling prety to society, too, and that is why I am unhappy with me.
I blame society for some things. Society is the reason I won't get ahead in work. If I am not outgoing, I don't suck up, therefore, it's hard for me to get ahead. Even though I don't fool around and I am a great worker. I'll get screwed in the end.
The thing that bothers me most is that shyness, quietness, being an introvert - whatever you may want to call it- is looked down upon. Why am I embarrassed to say I am any of these things? Extroverted people always flaunt their personality traits "I'm so outgoing. I'm not shy at all. I'm bubbly." Blah. Blah. Blah. I don't mind being quiet, but I HATE that it's a bad thing. I hate that I embarrassed with it. I wish I was okay with it. But, I guess I am falling prety to society, too, and that is why I am unhappy with me.
ljwwriter
Well-known member
I've never been one to blame society for my problems, but I will say that I feel that society has evolved into something hideous. The social pressures out there are so extreme that it's no wonder so many people have nervous breakdowns. Nearly every second of every waking moment is like walking a social tightrope for most people these days. Those of us who are so painfully shy have little or no hope of pulling off this balancing act and we tend to get left on the sidelines.
dottie
Well-known member
Psychedelicious said:
uh, relax. that post wasn't aimed at you. sorry if it sounded that way.
i have checked facts. i have studied psychology a bit, not that i have a degree in psychology but it's not completely foreign to me. but the FACT that there are so many people with a "chemical imbalance" (depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc, pick a disorder any disorder!) in this world means that it is normal to have a "chemical imbalance". and since it is so prevalent and normal then is it really a disorder in the first place?
i'm not saying you aren't struggling or that your problems are made up. i am struggling, too, obviously, otherwise i wouldn't be here. but it is prevalent and normal, and there isn't anything wrong with feeling the way you do- as much as society (and pharmaceutical companies) want/s you to believe. btw, don't misconstrue this as an anti-medication post.
all kinds of companies (not just pharmaceutical) want you to feel inadequate so that you will buy their product expecting it to fix you. society totally buys into it and that is why society has such ridiculous expectations on us as individuals.
Videotape said:
if you can't understand how society can influence an individual you need to go to school. (i'm not kidding.) it is not a matter of, "all of our problems are society's fault," it is a matter that society places extreme expectations on people and that is a huge factor in everyone's life. to neglect that would be blatantly ignorant! these expectations can cause so much pressure on people that they live in stress for fear of falling short or not meeting up.
and i think that is exactly why many of us are here- because we fear not meeting up. that is the whole point of social anxiety. "social"... "society" see a connection?
(thanks, moonie!)
slimjim119
Well-known member
Alot of good points mentioned here. I don't blame society for my problems. Genetically I was born this way. But I'm doing my best to not let SA dictate how it affects me the rest of my life.
What pisses me off about society to is the expectations we are suppose to fulfill. (As dottie has mentioned alot of already). Not everyone wants to live that lifestyle. I'd rather have enough $ to get by with and live quietly, away from major cities. I don't care about being rich and successful. That lifestyle would probably make me pop pills just to survive everyday. Too stressful and competitive. For SA sufferers, it's double the effort just to survive.
I would of preferred the America before the Industrial Revolution. Cleaner air and more open land.
What pisses me off about society to is the expectations we are suppose to fulfill. (As dottie has mentioned alot of already). Not everyone wants to live that lifestyle. I'd rather have enough $ to get by with and live quietly, away from major cities. I don't care about being rich and successful. That lifestyle would probably make me pop pills just to survive everyday. Too stressful and competitive. For SA sufferers, it's double the effort just to survive.
I would of preferred the America before the Industrial Revolution. Cleaner air and more open land.
sleepysparrow
Well-known member
dottie said:
I couldn't agree with you more.