girls

coyote

coyote

Well-known member
combat said:
What about that the salesman who simply stands there, says nothing, and stares at the potential customer who opens the door?
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Well, maybe by the 100th door, he'll have gotten comfortable enough to say something.
 
dhanoe

dhanoe

New member
coyote said:
So? It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing - if you have ten widgets to sell, you gotta get out and start knocking on some doors.

That's the only way they'll get sold. Otherwise, you'll just sit at home, playing with your widgets.
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Thanks for the post, coyote... I'm an introverted engineer who dared to jump into sales recently. I'm always procrastinating before calling potential clients. Your post has just hit me in the head -- a wake-up call, if you will. :cool:
 
spect01

spect01

Well-known member
There is a book by Dr. Gilmartin for guys who are "love-shy". It talks about approaching women and the fear that guys have to interact with females. I'm going to be reading it soon. This is one of the major symptoms of love-shyness.
 
Luna1740

Luna1740

Well-known member
You'd be surprised, but honestly the only way that I've ever gotten girls to like me is to just straight up be myself, even if that means being a complete and utter dork, because at the end of the day if you are always yourself around the girl, then there goes almost a hundred percent of the anxiety, because you can't really fail at being yourself can you?
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
When U have SA, it's really hard to approach someone.
Only people with a high self esteem can do that.
People who aren't afraid of rejection.
I never approached someone in my life either, and I wish I could.
Sometimes I liked someone, but I never had the chance to talk with that person.
I'm just way too shy to do that.
Only thing you could do is WORK on your self esteem.
 
Felgen

Felgen

Well-known member
ShyIrishFox said:
Some girls like shy guys... maybe she'll come to you.
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I kept telling myself the very same stuff until I was in my late teens or early twenties--it never happened. My advice to guys who are in that situation, is to start with learning the basic social skills (such as eye-contact and on), and then move on to the more advanced stuff (how to approach a girl, how to compliment a girl without sounding like a wuss and so on).

I would also encourage people to enroll in college, try to get a full-time job and so on. If you live with your parents, try moving out. Start going to the gym to become more muscular and (if you're obese) lose some weight. This will improve your confidence, which is one of the key factors in modern dating. You don't have to be a loadmouthed jerk to get a date, but you have to appear confident.

This last advice may seem very unorthodox, but if you're a virgin later than your mid twenties, pay for an escort so that you know what you're supposed to be doing in bed. If you're inexperienced, the girl will say that she doesn't want to be remembered as a bad "first time" or come up with a similar excuse. I'm not trying to sound chauvinistic here, but this happens to a lot of 20-something virgins.

When it comes to dating, dating the cute girls are far more rewarding than dating the bimbos and the spoiled brats. The former is generally less shallow, better looking and friendlier than the two latter.
 
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combat

combat

Well-known member
Felgen said:
If you're inexperienced, the girl will say that she doesn't want to be remembered as a bad "first time" or come up with a similar excuse. I'm not trying to sound chauvinistic here, but this happens to a lot of 20-something virgins.
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I realize this is probably my stubbornness showing itself, but if that's what the girl says then she can go to hell. ::p:
 
U

userremoved

Guest
Felgen said:
This last advice may seem very unorthodox, but if you're a virgin later than your mid twenties, pay for an escort so that you know what you're supposed to be doing in bed. If you're inexperienced, the girl will say that she doesn't want to be remembered as a bad "first time" or come up with a similar excuse. I'm not trying to sound chauvinistic here, but this happens to a lot of 20-something virgins.
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Losing your virginity to a prostitute can't be anything to be proud of either. I honestly think this will do more damage to an SA guys self image than good. It's been stated earlier that the main reason the late virginity thing bothers us is because it causes us to question our attractiveness to the opposite sex. So having to pay for it would probably just reinforce that negative thinking even more.
 
Felgen

Felgen

Well-known member
jneal25 said:
Losing your virginity to a prostitute can't be anything to be proud of either. I honestly think this will do more damage to an SA guys self image than good. It's been stated earlier that the main reason the late virginity thing bothers us is because it causes us to question our attractiveness to the opposite sex. So having to pay for it would probably just reinforce that negative thinking even more.
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What about the social phobics that aren't bad looking or anything like that (most of them look like normal people), but who still feel insecure or unconfident because of their lack of experience? This is a very common problem.

I've never paid for an escort myself, but a part of beeing an escort is also to give your customers more confidence and to be understanding when it comes to their problems.
 
combat

combat

Well-known member
Felgen said:
What about the social phobics that aren't bad looking or anything like that (most of them look like normal people), but who still feel insecure or unconfident because of their lack of experience? This is a very common problem.

I've never paid for an escort myself, but a part of beeing an escort is also to give your customers more confidence and to be understanding when it comes to their problems.
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I can only speak for myself, but my insecurity and lack of confidence isn't really about lack of bedroom experience. The main issue is getting to that point in the first place. An escort isn't going to do anything to minimize my fear of rejection or stop me from isolating myself in the corner at a party instead of interacting with women, etc. It also would do nothing to make me feel any more likable. She's getting paid. I don't want a girl who's getting paid to be with me... way too depressing.
 
Eam

Eam

Well-known member
combat said:
I can only speak for myself, but my insecurity and lack of confidence isn't really about lack of bedroom experience. The main issue is getting to that point in the first place. An escort isn't going to do anything to minimize my fear of rejection or stop me from isolating myself in the corner at a party instead of interacting with women, etc. It also would do nothing to make me feel any more likable. She's getting paid. I don't want a girl who's getting paid to be with me... way too depressing.
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Same here, I imagine that's the majority view amongst the other guys here too.
 
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