girls

[Dodger]

How can I talk to girls, I feel so lonely and I need to get a girlfriend. I am just way to scared to talk to girls it is just not possible from what I can tell. I need help talking to girls but I don't know what to do.

 

[FinalSolution]

You need to face ur anxiety and just talk to them no matter where/when. I think there is no other way. Go out and talk. Doesnt mean the 1st one u will meet will be the right one. Maybe u will get rejected 100 times before u meet her

 

[Nack]

Think about it further, when you get a gf, what do you suppose you both will do? I mean, I basically live like an old man. No girl would want to hang around me. They like flower and unicorns, chocolate and babies. I don't have any idea what to do with one when I get one err...

 

[Anomaly]

How can I talk to girls, I feel so lonely and I need to get a girlfriend. I am just way to scared to talk to girls it is just not possible from what I can tell. I need help talking to girls but I don't know what to do.

I'm not sure how other people look at this, but I would attempt to rid myself of the fear first before even trying to get a girlfriend. I can't say anything other than exposure will help. Either you get fortunate or you get so miserable that you push yourself to face your fear(s).

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

All the other posts before me were so typical of a response towards a shy person,its stupid.All of this mentality that you're a product/they're products/get over it...is bs.Sir,its best to deal with this with poise and rtionality now tell me,do you want the benifits of a girlfriend or a girlfriend of benifits?

 

[Lost Girl]

All the other posts before me were so typical of a response towards a shy person,its stupid.All of this mentality that you're a product/they're products/get over it...is bs.Sir,its best to deal with this with poise and rtionality now tell me,do you want the benifits of a girlfriend or a girlfriend of benifits?

...........................................................................

 

[Elad]

Just realize that they're not so different from you.. try talking to them like you would a guy(within limits lol) and you might be surprised.

 

[Richey]

i work with alot of very self confident girls and all of them have sort of hinted at how they prefer a certain height and build and they prefer a tradesman manager type, alot of very specific traits ...not all girls want the same thing obviously but there seems to be a general consensus ....if i can't even form a date or a decent relationship where i work right now then i'm really worried, i'm nice and i'm friendly but they all have boyfriends and i dont know that i really click with any of them anyway...the one girl i really got on with was completely in love with someone ....that is the third time i've made friends and they've been swept off their feet by someone else ...

its tough, but i think the more exposure you have to new people the better the chances of meeting someone ...

hate to say it but perhaps rejection and rejection and a big dose of reality is what is needed. i mean it hurts it'll be awful but that will make you build up an immunity down the track..

try and focus on just forming a friendship without all the fluff of "does she want to go out with me" because if its genuine you'll know it ....

 

[Understood]

i work with alot of very self confident girls and all of them have sort of hinted at how they prefer a certain height and build and they prefer a tradesman manager type, alot of very specific traits ...not all girls want the same thing obviously but there seems to be a general consensus ...

Okay, I'm a girl and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...we think we want a certain height and build and it certainly helps in getting our attention, but I've never met a single girl who ends up with what they thought they wanted. My mom was dead set on a musician, married an engineer, I wouldn't go near anybody under 6'2" and I'm crushing on 5'6", friend loved stick thin boys and she's dating a portly cook. It helps to be the ideal, but quite honestly, once you meet somebody it doesn't matter a hoot.

 

[Masychefx2]

i can never tell if a girl likes you or is just being nice, its tough im in the same boat as you brah.

 

[Dronee]

You can work indirectly. I'm a strong believer in indirect synergies due to the seemingly endless Catch 22 situations in my life. How about bettering yourself in other areas of life (whatever that is)... then have some of that confidence transfer over to other parts of your life... Use your strengths to build upon other strengths.

It worked to a large extent for me. I still have a lot of problems, but this kind of thinking has helped me a great deal. Just my personal experience.

 

[Felgen]

Women are human too. This is something people seem to forget. Often times, we are intimidated by people because we tend to assume unrealistic things about them. Women have their own insecurities, fears and flaws like anyone else. Take all the women on SPW as example! A lot of us are just as afraid of approaching you and engaging you in converastion as you are afraid of approaching us. Behind whatever it is that you find so intimidating about women, lies blood, flesh and bone.

It makes no sense and does no good to attribute some inaccessible, god-like status to women. I'm not saying that you should look down on them, but you shouldn't place other human beings higher than yourself. Especially when you know nothing about them.

Also, as someone already said, you have to get over these fears before even thinking about getting a girlfriend. See it this way: You are not entitled to having a girlfiriend. A girlfriend is a person - a human being and you don't have any entitlement to another human being.

Technically, nobody is entitled to get anything. Having a significant other is a privilege and not a right per se, but I can see why many social phobics are frustrated when it comes to dating. I've been in the exact same position myself.

Seeing people hold hands, kiss and so on in public can be painful if you're too shy to even talk to a girl. What's even more painful is the feeling that "everyone else" has someone special in their lives.

 

[Emily_G]

How can I talk to girls, I feel so lonely and I need to get a girlfriend. I am just way to scared to talk to girls it is just not possible from what I can tell. I need help talking to girls but I don't know what to do.

Online? Less intimidating?

 

[coyote]

Let's use an analogy - sales. We're gonna go door to door and sell 10 widgets.

You have to figure that only 30% of the doors you knock on will have someone home. Then figure that only 30% of the people you find at home will let you talk to them about the widgets at all. Of those, maybe only 30% will buy a widget.

That means, in order to sell 10 widgets, you have to knock on 300 doors.

You can't just knock on 10 doors to sell 10 widgets - no matter how good of salesman you are. You gotta play the numbers to be successful - that's how the business of sales works.

You don't have to stress out about selling each widget - instead you just focus on knocking on those 300 doors - the rest will take care of itself.

It's not about the salesman, it's not about the product, it's simply about the math.

Does this make sense?

 

[DanFC]

Let's use an analogy - sales. We're gonna go door to door and sell 10 widgets.

You have to figure that only 30% of the doors you knock on will have someone home. Then figure that only 30% of the people you find at home will let you talk to them about the widgets at all. Of those, maybe only 30% will buy a widget.

That means, in order to sell 10 widgets, you have to knock on 300 doors.

You can't just knock on 10 doors to sell 10 widgets - no matter how good of salesman you are. You gotta play the numbers to be successful - that's how the business of sales works.

You don't have to stress out about selling each widget - instead you just focus on knocking on those 300 doors - the rest will take care of itself.

It's not about the salesman, it's not about the product, it's simply about the math.

Does this make sense?

But because the sales system works on by rewards, some salesmen, with their charisma and great looks and overall drive, sell way more widgets.

 

[coyote]

But because the sales system works on by rewards, some salesmen, with their charisma and great looks and overall drive, sell way more widgets.

So? It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing - if you have ten widgets to sell, you gotta get out and start knocking on some doors.

That's the only way they'll get sold. Otherwise, you'll just sit at home, playing with your widgets.

 

[Shift]

You can try to find a girl whom you are attracted to and doesn't make you nervous...

I've found myself a boy like that, so it's possible.

 

[Why]

ive pretty much sucked at talking to girls my whole life but ive been slowly slowly improving

can u talk to guys alright? Sometime imaging them as a dude helps.

ive noticed i put attractive women on a pedestal when in fact, they are just like u and me. Just treat them like another random person and u will feel a bit more relaxed. Of course its ezier said than done. This will seem kinda weird but go talk to old ladies, females that have no attraction and slowly build to super sexy women.

 

[combat]

So? It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing - if you have ten widgets to sell, you gotta get out and start knocking on some doors.

That's the only way they'll get sold. Otherwise, you'll just sit at home, playing with your widgets.

What about that the salesman who simply stands there, says nothing, and stares at the potential customer who opens the door?

 

[ShyIrishFox]

Some girls like shy guys... maybe she'll come to you.