Friends to lovers

[Looking_in105]

Hi all,

I'm just wondering if any of you have dated someone who you have been intially friends with? If so, how did you make that transition? Was it weird? How long were you friends before becoming lovers?

I ask this because I'm interested in becoming 'more' with a friend, but I don't know if it'll get weird. I get that some people have fallen in love with one of their friends/best friend, but just wondering how they made the transition from hanging around someone they may have perceived as being like a sister/brother into a boyfriend/girlfriend??

 

[Falkor]

My girlfriend and I used to be friends. but she had feelings for me during our ''just friends zone'' and suddenly I fell in love after a time. So, It is possible.

 

[Section_31]

It only gets wierd if you guys let it. Personally ive dated 2 girls who i started out as good friends with, one of them being my wife. One of the benefits is you already know the person well.

There are cons of course, but IMO, the benefits outweigh them, at least in my case. I guess that can vary from person to person, but think it over, and decide whats best for you.

I say go for it!

 

[AGR]

I dont know,I have found quite a number of girls and a couple of articles by "dating experts" mostly online saying that a guy who is friends with a girl but likes her or develops feelings for her is manipulating,but you will see for yourself that a lot of relationships start this way,so I dont see the criteria they use to decide which is manipulation and which is not,perhaps being goodlooking may help.

 

[kihira]

It has to be a mutual, two-way, shared thing. One-way never works. If its something that you both want then you have a great romantic relationship built on friendship.

 

[Liam17]

if your friends with a lass and you say you like her don't do it.

I did, and it went all wrong :/.

 

[schist]

Never, and I repeat NEVER, admit your feelings to her upfront - you will have absolutely zero chance of anything romantic ever happening, as 'Liam17' said.

So you want to turn your friend into a lover? Start acting like a lover around her - initiate touching more often (as in, putting your arm around her when talking to her etc.), be more chivalrous (open doors for her etc.) - generally just start treating her like a lover would. Depending on the severity of your SA, it may be easier said than done.

Be observant of others, and how other couples hook up. Learn from your observations, and start applying it.

Also, be prepared for your friendship with this person to disintegrate if your attempts at courtship fail.

 

[BlackPuma]

It's possible, I went from ''friend'' to ''relationship''. But it doesn't really matter what your previous relationship status is (friendship or otherwise), it still comes down to mutual feelings and compatibility.

I was friends with this guy two years before he made his move. So it needn't be catastrophic. Just make sure the feeling is mutual, and that the conditions are right. Meaning that you don't ask her out when she's in a vulnerable place, then it might seem like you're trying to take advantage of that.

But to answer your question; Yes, it is possible.

 

[Looking_in105]

Thanks for the advice. I'm still interested in this person, and I think we'd make a good couple - we're quite compatible. I'm about 90% sure that she'd be interested in a relationship.

But having SA, it makes things so much more difficult. I feel I can't be more affectionate towards her and stuff. I can't imagine myself being all affectionate like I see other couples and in the movies. I feel that it'd be so unnatural and forced. In my head I imagine myself saying "so do we kiss now?" Seems like such a massive hurdle to overcome!!::

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Never, and I repeat NEVER, admit your feelings to her upfront - you will have absolutely zero chance of anything romantic ever happening, as 'Liam17' said.

No. Or at least it depends on what sort of feelings you're talking about, and how up front.

If you've just met a girl, there should not be any problem with you admitting you find her attractive. It's for the best actually. But 'feelings'? If you're still getting to know her and go on about all sorts of complicated feelings that should be a warning sign to her. It may indicate, among other things, that you have an idea of her in your head which may barely correspond to the actual her at all.

You can lust after someone you barely know but you can't love them. It's important to know the difference, and a lot of guys with little experience don't.

 

[coyote]

It has to be a mutual, two-way, shared thing. One-way never works. If its something that you both want then you have a great romantic relationship built on friendship.

listen to this man

it'll either happen or it won't

you can't force it

 

[Emma]

We were friends for 2 years... then we met at the airport one day and that was it...I think knowing each other as friends first works well...no awkward "getting to know eachother" moments....unless you break up..that would be awkward...it does cross my mind sometimes.

 

[ilmatross]

if your friends with a lass and you say you like her don't do it.

I did, and it went all wrong :/.

dont stress man, if it goes wrong once doesn't mean it'll always go wrong

If you don't give it another chance you won't ever achieve happiness

You gotta risk losing it all to have a chance of gaining it all

 

[joyce]

yes I have the same problem but my friend tould me to move slowly then with signals become closer (friend is despairsoul )