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There's an old chestnut: she asks, "Do you love her?" he asks, "Have you slept with him?"

What does faithfulness mean to you? Which covenants should not be broken?


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what I aspire to

For me, I'm not sure that it has much to do with third parties at all.

It's more about steadfastness, truthfulness and openness of heart.
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Faithfulness is very important to me. The only time infedelity is acceptable, in my opinion is when both parners are open about it and in agreement with each other about it.
To me sleeping with another person is worse than loving another person. This is because you can't control how you feel about someone even if it's not your spouse, you don't have much control over your can repress or hide those feelings of love but you can't get rid of those emotions. Someone may not even be actually going out with the other person they love but still have those feelings and be in a marriage without it considered cheating. just like when you're depressed, you can act happy and wear a fake smile but inside you still feel that saddness, it doesn't mean you want to, but it is just there. people fall in and out of love and it's completely natural.

sleeping with someone, however, is a whole different story. it is physical and often based on infatuation. you have self-control. you can't stop yourself from having feelings of love but you CAN stop yourself from having sexual relations with another person no matter how strong the desire. it is an act that you can never take back (but you CAN fall out of love) and it is a CHOICE that you make (you can't choose who you'll fall in love with). so I feel this is much worse when it comes to being unfaithful.

razzle dazzle rose

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I know things happen, and I know it really doesn't mean anything. Still, I don't know how some people can get over their partner's infidelity. Especially when he impregnates the other girl. I'd be bitter bitter.


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For me, its about honesty, integrity, and trust over anything else.

For me its realizing that what i have is an absolute treasure that alot of people dont find. Being someone with S/A, to me that makes my love for my wife all that much more dear, more to heart. And id die before i betrayed that. No exaggeration.

Life is hard, life with S/A is harder still. Finding someone to share your life with when you have S/A is practically impossible. I dont take her for granted, and i cant imagine a day of my life without her....


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Trust, overall. I can't be with someone if I can't trust them. Once trust is broken, it's hard to earn that back.

There's no excuse for cheating as far as I'm concerned. If you're unhappy in a relationship, be an adult and talk it out/work on it, or end the relationship.


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All I care about is honesty. If your needs aren't being met, just tell me rather than trying to get what you need behind my back.

You're being unfaithful if you do something that you wouldn't want your partner doing to you.


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it's easy to judge people for behavior we find unacceptable when we haven't walked in their shoes

human beings often behave in ways that are irrational and self-defeating, and it is often very difficult for them to clearly express their feelings - particularly to people that mean a great deal to them

90% of the posts on this forum are examples of this

how much of our own socially-anxious or avoidant behavior do others consider inexcusable?


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I would like to say my opinion. But I don't want to share it. So I just wanted to say I really like Coyote's point.


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I think that when you love someone you dont have eyes for any other person,so fidelity to me is when you love someone,at least to me,it might not be to other people.


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to me, fidelity is not so much about exclusivity

as it is about never leaving, never giving up


Active member
Infidelity ends up creating a lack of trust between two people and some relationships can recover from that. I personally would feel betrayed and hurt by this, but really it all depends on the circumstances.