Feeling pressured by society to drink alcohol.

Newtype

Well-known member
I don't drink alcohol. I never did. I just don't see the point. Why drink alcohol when you could just drink juice or milk? That's the way I think. I seem to be the only person in the world who thinks this way. I don't have anything against people who drink alcohol. I just don't want to drink any.

For some reason though, I feel pressured by society to drink alcohol. Often I hear people say that a person who doesn't drink alcohol is a boring person. I must be the most boring person on the planet then.

You see it in the media, people go to fancy restaurants with their dates, they drink wine, there's always alcohol involved. I've never been on a date, but I wonder, what would I drink in that fancy restaurant? I feel like I'm gonna get some weird looks if I don't order wine.

Sometimes I look at profiles of girls who live nearby on dating sites and 90% of the girls have one thing in common: They all like to go to the pub during the summer and drink beer outside. For me, that's a really boring activity. If I drank beer, I would just DRINK IT AT HOME AND NOT GET RIPPED OFF but I guess girls want the attention. Anyway, that's off-topic.

So if everyone likes to drink alcohol, then what am I supposed to do? I fear having to tell a girl that I don't drink. I get the impression that it's like telling her that I have no penis. And drinking to fit in, that's really not my style.

Feel free to share what you think.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Often I hear people say that a person who doesn't drink alcohol is a boring person. I must be the most boring person on the planet then.
^ This. I kinda see what you're saying about the whole drinking thing, although I don't feel as much pressure. I don't get into alcohol much either, and I'm not even supposed to anyway since I'm not 21. But my brother, he likes to drink even though he's underage. And he even calls me boring because I don't go out partying and drinking underage either. :rolleyes: Same thing happened when I was 13 and was offered alcohol at a party. I said no, and they gave me a weird look and called me boring. I'd rather be "boring" than be a seriously underage drunk fool.

I've had alcohol before, but I've never actually drank it til I was drunk. I've only had a little bit each time. And most of the alcohol I've ever had was wine anyway. My parents like to buy it during the holidays, and it does taste nice. (And it's even fun to cook with! :)) But I can't imagine myself ever going overboard.
 

Jetra

Well-known member
Dude, I accidentally had some of my mom's Old Style when I was like three. It was the worst stuff you can ever drink. I vowed to never have any kind of liquid pee ever in my entire life. My 21st birthday is upon me and my brother's are planning on getting me drunk, but I'm getting nowhere near a Smirnoff or even Captain Morgan himself.

Also, my brother, his girlfriend, my mother and my one cousin are all die-hard alcohol lovers. Because of this, I'm afraid I might turn into them because of my obsessive nature. This helps a lot when saying no and holding my ground. Don't feel bad, you aren't missing out on much.
 

nothingtofear

Well-known member
it IS very mainstream and not many young people don't drink but I don't really see the pressure as being universal or widespread so much as just in specific context. As for non-drinkers being boring, any substance that consuming can be a catalyst for fun has the potential to make people less boring for a little while since fun isn't boring. If you can have fun without substances, that won't be a problem because you don't need them. I can't speak much of dating because I haven't done much of it but I've had girls respond favorably to my telling them that I don't drink. Mind you, there's a stigma that goes with being the super straight edge conservative and often judgmental type, many of which are non-drinkers (and oppose many things fun!) which anyone who knows me knows that I am not and if anyone thought I was, perhaps my not drinking wouldn't get the respect it does. To those straight edge super conservative and often (but not always!) judgmental types, I think I look like scum. To mainstream culture, I'm positive that I look like I'd be closer to the opposite of those conservative types so I think some people look at me and have some preconceptions of me that are later shattered when they find out that I don't even drink, let alone god knows what else they think I do. I like the way I look because anyone from any walk of life who judges a book by it's cover seems to be impressed by how wrong they are about me when they get to know me and also because it gives the good impressions of my being laid back / non-judgmental / strange. Strange being good because I am odd and by not looking normal, people don't expect me to be normal and I feel less like I have to.

Don't advertise that you don't drink because if they get to know you well enough to decide whether or not they like you, if won't make a difference. If asked if you drink or drinks are suggested or something and you feel the need to say you don't drink, say it like it's no big deal and leave it at that. If asked why not, go ahead and say why you don't drink but make sure not to come off as being pretentious or having something against people who do drink. That's my advice.
 

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
You're certainly not the only one in the world who thinks like that. I only drank alcohol once in my life and I absolutely hated it. Burned my throat and stomach like hell and I felt like crap afterward. Duly noted that I was only 8 years old when this happened. It was at my cousin's wedding. They served everyone what my 8 year old self believed to be "cider" at the time. Boy was I wrong... it turned out to be champagne and I downed that sucker in one swig. There wasn't a lot in the cup but it was enough to make me buzzed and let me say: I had a lot of fun at the wedding, and not so much fun having to run to the toilet as soon as I got home and puke my guts out. Thank God the liver replaces itself every 16 years ::p:

I noticed that too about dating sites. All the guys I take interest in there either like to party, drink, get high, or all three. That applies to real life too. It's really hard to find people who don't drink, smoke, or do drugs nowadays, especially in my age group.
 

megalon

Well-known member
I've never had any alcohol except a sip of wine every sunday when I used to go to church. I totally agree that it seems pointless. Every time you hear anyone tell a story about when they were drinking, it's always about something they did that was stupid and embarrassing, or about how bad their hangover was. That stuff doesn't sound appealing to me. I have no idea why people would want to have such experiences.
 

nothingtofear

Well-known member
You're certainly not the only one in the world who thinks like that. I only drank alcohol once in my life and I absolutely hated it. Burned my throat and stomach like hell and I felt like crap afterward. Duly noted that I was only 8 years old when this happened. It was at my cousin's wedding. They served everyone what my 8 year old self believed to be "cider" at the time. Boy was I wrong... it turned out to be champagne and I downed that sucker in one swig. There wasn't a lot in the cup but it was enough to make me buzzed and let me say: I had a lot of fun at the wedding, and not so much fun having to run to the toilet as soon as I got home and puke my guts out. Thank God the liver replaces itself every 16 years ::p:

I noticed that too about dating sites. All the guys I take interest in there either like to party, drink, get high, or all three. That applies to real life too. It's really hard to find people who don't drink, smoke, or do drugs nowadays, especially in my age group.

ahaha I've never heard a story like that from someone talking about when they were so young! I had a couple sips of beer younger than that (not enough to do anything) and it deterred me from trying anything alcoholic again for a long time because it was gross! I think every parent should let their kids try a sip of something they'll be disgusted by long before they're at the age where their peers make them think it's cool because when you're that young anything you put in your mouth by choice is for it's taste, you don't know wth it is to be intoxicated. I suppose it could backfire if the kid likes it though...

anyway, I've known quite a few people who's primary source of entertainment is substances and I've known even more who enjoy them but enjoy other things in life too. I think the latter have just as much ability to get along with those who don't partake at all as people who don't partake do with each other. When it comes to people who enjoy nothing more than they do getting drunk or high and that's their #1 routine for recreation, they're at least a little bit less equipped when it comes to mingling with those who don't use substances. It's hard to accurately judge people you don't know. I'd just overlook those things if it seems like there's a lot more to the person (that does appeal to you) than that.
 

NP88

Well-known member
I don't drink alcohol. I never did. I just don't see the point. Why drink alcohol when you could just drink juice or milk? That's the way I think. I seem to be the only person in the world who thinks this way. I don't have anything against people who drink alcohol. I just don't want to drink any.

^
Logic says this.


Though... society is not based on logic. Its based on manipulation. Stick to your guns, dont drink. Its never done me any good. I quit for 3 years because I didnt want it didnt need it and it got me in trouble. I wish I never started again.

It feels good to have no vices. You feel free yet oddly alone. Its hard to find likeminded people especially when it comes to being sober. Though I was much happier sober yet much more socially phobic.. a tradeoff I suppose.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I don't drink either and I did feel pressure to drink whenever I went to parties to hung out with friends because-- like you said; it seems like everyone else in the world drinks. They also smoke pot, and I don't.
So, yes-- some people will make fun of you and say that you're boring.

You will just have to put up with it and think to yourself; when you are all old- you won't have the liver damage, lung damage, or same chances for cancer and various other diseases. Your skin will be nicer and you will look better taken care of because you didn't indulge in the acts that it seems 'everyone else' did in their youth/lives.

There are people who respect me for not drinking or smoking, which is nice.
But the majority of people look at me like I'm retarded for not getting drunk and high with them.

You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do.
Just hang in there and keep your head held high and remember~ at the end of the party- you will be the one with the power; as the only person sober enough to drive/walk/talk to an inquiring police officer. You will be the only one with power.
haha
 

Newtype

Well-known member
I had a couple sips of beer younger than that (not enough to do anything) and it deterred me from trying anything alcoholic again for a long time because it was gross!

That's exactly what I did when I was a kid and it's probably the reason why I never started drinking when everyone else did.
 

EvilFlyingCow

Well-known member
At least your on the opposite end of the spectrum of me. I drink way too much, and I can't stop drinking, which is more of a turnoff to people than not drinking at all.
 

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Heh my old friends who at this point are the only peeps I'd go or could go out with, are just lame, they don't drink. And that's not lame okay that's GOOD. But. NEVER. I don't want to drink whenever I'd go out, but occasionally, yeah... with ppl I'd want to drink with.

However for sure, I'd rather have friends like mine that didn't drink at all or rarely than those who always did and always did when did stuff, as I've seen those kinds and that would just be not fun and lots of pressure.

I'll never be doing that every night or relying on it, I've gone through that phase to realize that now (like filling a water bottle with vodka/mixed with water, lol yeah that was an interesting night, never did that again =)...there's really only a one handful of occasions I've actually drunk anything with friends.
 
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