Father Issues

[Graeme1988]

My dad was never really part of my life until I turned 15. Doesn't exactly make up for all those year of being absent. In the 8 years he was part of my life, he was always very pushy in terms of what I should be doing with my life. Follow in his footsteps. Quite a domineering person, my father. And, I feel, he never truly accept me as I am, seemed to view me as a disappointment.

As of January this year, I've cut off contact with my father.

 

[IGotSeoul]

Perhaps you should live in a house with a bullying control freak, with no concept of treating children and adults differently, and thinking that physical punishment is the way to fix things, even for the most lenient offences.

Perhaps then you'll change your mind

i did and i still do, thank you ...
and this is why i write this, because with all the **** i went through there are the qualities i have now in my character which i'm proud of and i honestly think i won't be the same me growing in another house. as much as everyone else growing where thy did. there won't be a perfect house and a perfect formula to produce happy kids, it's the proses which determines the person you're gonna grow.
i say this from a place where i know, there is no way to forbid certain ppl from growing kids, and there is nothing to do about the situation of ppl who already come from those houses. but it's better see the side you can benefit from and not the side which brings you down.
and yes, i'm optimistic. and yes it's because i chose to be one in a house where i wouldn't survive other way.

I understand where you're both coming from. No person should be subject to cruelty and abuse but it does happen.

The greatest we can do is embrace who we are, be proud, and make even the most unimaginable negatives into something that will make us stronger. If any of us do decide to have children of our own, perhaps we can then look back and smile.

 

[The Observer]

In many ways my father was a poor father figure but he was a teacher. He was a chronic alcoholic who seldom showed any love or affection to me or my siblings. Rather than make "issues" out of this, and have any resentment or hatred towards him I look at him as a teacher who taught his son a lesson of what not to be.

 

[Bittersweet]

As of January this year, I've cut off contact with my father.

I cut off contact with my father several years ago. He doesn't respect my boundaries, he's emotionally manipulative and can be verbally abusive. Until he is willing and able to acknowledge, and work on our relationship issues, I can't pretend like everything is fine.

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

I think the majority of people have father issues or parental issues in general. What has happened in life has happened and in the end you just have to let it all go. Focus on changing what you don't like about yourself and if you wish, deal with your issues in therapy and try to move on. It's not worth it to hold any grudges or blame anyone... although that can be very hard. You can't find peace until you let it go, what can you really gain from holding onto anything negative, it's all already done.

 

[Kat]

Oh - and for everyone else: sorry to hear about father issues, I sometimes think people would need a certificate for parenting!! (Not sure if it would help though?) And if you never had any of troubles: well, lucky you!
Anyway, hope things get better...

I can definitely agree with that.

 

[Graeme1988]

I cut off contact with my father several years ago. He doesn't respect my boundaries, he's emotionally manipulative and can be verbally abusive. Until he is willing and able to acknowledge, and work on our relationship issues, I can't pretend like everything is fine.

I can definitely relate there, except for the verbal abuse. My dad was pretty much the same. I still feel I was forced into agreeing, when I was 15, to meet my father. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. My mother just told me, out of the blue, my dad wants to meet me.

I still think it was too soon for me, should've waited at least 3 years. Or, at the very least, my mum could've talk with me about it beforehand.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I may be one of the few people in the universe who does not have any parent issues. My parents werent perfect or anything... (I just can't blame them for anything because I'd rather blame myself if there is anything I could hold against them) They supported me and nurtured my artistic talents the best they could even without any money and tried at the worst of times to keep myself and my siblings away from the drugs and alcohol that were everywhere.

I had supportive parents, though. I don't understand how a parent can be any other way and it upsets me to think that there are some really horrible parents out there.

 

[AGR]

No father issues,my parents are too responsible,only once I stopped talking with him for a year.