Facebook, Social Phobia Hell

[coyote]

I think you misunderstand, its not how many friends I have, its the question of why someone would delete me. Thats where the paranoia comes in. I'm always self conscious that I might be annoying on there or maybe someone from college heard something bad about me.

but you see, it's not what's wrong with YOU

it's what's wrong with THEM

THEY are the ones who have chosen to limit their OWN experience due to whatever shortcomings THEY have

forget them, and focus and what YOU can do to maximize YOUR experience

 

[T T T]

I don't even have the confidence to post on anything that isn't related to my family or girlfriend. I check it, but just get upset because I have no activity on my profile.

 

[Dex Dorrey]

i dont have a facebook because i know i would only have like 5 friends on it (if that)

 

[JonnyD]

well actually, what you described looks like a normal facebooker lol.
and i deal with then daily, i don't think you should delete it, just try to use it as a tool to learn

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I want people but I HATE interactions! But if you can't have interactions, you can't have people. Paradox!

Very well put, I'm the exact same way.

I want to be near people but at the same time I don't want to interact with them. I want to be looked upon like a normal human being and not just another shadow creeping along the walls in the background. It's not an easy thing to explain thoroughly.

I tried getting rid of facebook at one point a few months ago but it didn't work out. I don't know why but I like to see what my friends are up to and how they're doing even if they don't really notice when I'm feeling down save a few genuine friends. I don't even know why I bother posting stuff most of the time if people don't even care. It just feels like a wasted effort, but at the same time I still want to be a part of my friends' lives when they've already moved on. I don't know if it's out of fear of being alone or just desperation but I hate it. I hate feeling like this useless leech that tries to cling onto everyone for dear life no matter how much they try to pry me away and I hate how I get so jealous and upset whenever I see them all talking to each other like family while I get left out by the people I confided in the most.

 

[johannes]

...I like the idea of me living in a forest, kind of like away from the civilization.. But I don´t want to be sad and bitter... I would want it to be like my own private paradise, a garden, growing vegetables, having some dogs... And maybe once in a while some human contact.

I want partnership and sex and I like living with someone that I love - but I think it´s too difficult and meaningless for me to be in a relationship, and I don´t know how to!...

This! i have to agree on this 100%!,
If i could only pull a Thoreau! I sort of thought about the place and all, just need the life partner.

I happen to have a facebook account i never use, i hate it, i made it for my ex gf once and it never worked for me, i used the phone instead, or wrote e-mails, can't stand the people i know checking, tracking me or whatever.

 

[IGotSeoul]

This! i have to agree on this 100%!,
If i could only pull a Thoreau! I sort of thought about the place and all, just need the life partner.

I happen to have a facebook account i never use, i hate it, i made it for my ex gf once and it never worked for me, i used the phone instead, or wrote e-mails, can't stand the people i know checking, tracking me or whatever.

relate.

I don't care much when it comes to who's dating who, who's planking on what, those less than mutual friends, and those thought provoking one liners that usually hold subtle personal meaning but are never directly expressed because they would rather keep you guessing and make everything abstract and open for interpretation because they might be worried about what other people think or maybe they just like the idea of being deep or something like that but it makes me pull my hair out when I'm trying to assess what in the world he/she means. *INHALE*

however I can imagine it being practical if the person works in a career where networking is essential.

 

[Minty]

Take a break for a couple weeks until your compulsion to check your account goes away. Then go back on. I'm the same way and I ended up deleting my account...I kind of miss it. I have no contact with my friends now.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Yet they're able to find out everything about me without ever conversing with me.

This.

FB can be like laying your whole life out there in public for everyone (those you know, and those you don't) to pick over. That's fine if people are happy doing that, but the expectation that everyone must or should have a FB page makes me uncomfortable.

 

[coyote]

really, i think you're taking it all much too seriously

it's just for fun

here's my latest post/status whatever:

perhaps it really IS a cry for help

 

[doubleM]

really, i think you're taking it all much too seriously

it's just for fun

here's my latest post/status whatever:

perhaps it really IS a cry for help

is that your latest acme purchase? id like to have one of those myself. i can think of a few people i would terrorize with it.

 

[Feathers]

Twiggle, have you played with privacy settings yet?

I think you can make some posts or photos visible just to some friends' groups etc (haven't fully mastered that but sounds good in theory)
Maybe have a category for 'iffy people' and add that person into it - it'll seem to him like you're just not posting much?

 

[userremoved]

Haha yeah, I had a look and keep meaning to create a separate list for people who I don't want to see my statuses or photos.
Though I still wish there was an option to not be tagged in statuses, but I can't seem to find one

Yeah I do that too. I usually only let certain people (or those from here) see my status. It might sound bad but I usually hide it from family.

 

[coyote]

in years past, i was overly concerned with how certain people might view me

if i had been on Facebook then, I'm sure i would have been really uptight about what i posted and everything - wanting to make sure that "this" group judged me the way i wanted them to, and that "that" group saw me in the best light, etc., etc.

i suppose one of the things I've made progress on is being able to let of all that go and just be MYSELF, letting friends, family, acquaintances, school mates, co-workers, and strangers see the same person

I have nothing to hide - my life is an open book

(well, maybe I do, but i'd be silly to post it on Facebook if i wanted to hide it, now wouldn't I?)

 

[coyote]

Amen!

The key to being happy is finding an inner peace so that you can then reject any criticisms on others that you feel are unfounded.
Be the best person you feel you can be, believe in everything you do and say, accept that you can be wrong at times (but don't let anyone push you towards guilt when its unjustified) and you won't care so much about what others think.
I know that and that's what I'm trying to achieve. Its just a long way.

maybe you can use something like Facebook to help

like a testing ground of sorts

or SPW :]

 

[v_coccotti]

Having a facebook makes me really nervous, yet I still have one. All my info is out in the open...I feel nervous every time I post a status update, I fear it will sound irrelevant or self-absorbed. I feel awkward when someone I've seen a couple times around in a class or something tries to add me and it makes my subsequent real life experiences around them awkward. I feel like if I reject their friend request, that I'm rejecting them in real life. Yet they're able to find out everything about me without ever conversing with me. People from high school and some even from university have me added, I've been fairly successful in my academic endeavors but I still worry about what they think of me.

I disabled my account for 7 months straight due to anxiety over the two years my account existed. To make it worse, there's this one guy who I randomly added a few months ago and he 'likes' all my photos and statuses, posts heaps of pictures on my wall and it honestly makes me dread posting anything. I like his friendship but that's all, I've messaged him telling it comes off weird to people I actually know in real life and the guy I really like. I block people a lot, and am thinking of doing the same to him.

Why don't you just increase your privacy settings and "friend" people that you don't mind knowing info about yourself?

 

[NihilSlayer]

Facebook is just moronic. What is the point of all this hive-think nonsense we are falling into? I have gazed from afar at as this beast has been coddled and nursed into a truly supreme, massive waste of time. In essence it acts as a kind of socialability litmus test: give reach-arounds to the cool-dispersing techie god and your ego will be stroked-- screw that. The stupidity of facebook-- and coming to this realization-- operates completely outside of having SA. Why must the unfettered application of technology be thrust into every sphere of life?

 

[v_coccotti]

Good point, some people could take it personally. Why don't you just untick the box in the facbook privacy settings that allow you to appear in searches, I could help.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I actually rather enjoy using FB, even tough I have only 22 friends (a mix of family, online friends and people from school). I had some tweenty or thirty more "friends" but they were people I barely knew and had no interest in them, so I erased them.

I like to use Facebook to simply know a little more about other people's life, and to share things like my favorite music, videos, vacation photos, nothing more.

I would actually like to have more people on it, specially from abroad, as that would make the whole thing a whole lot more interesting for me, but there comes the paradox, as I would have to know them at least a little bit before adding them.

 

[CZi]

=\ People incessantly tell me to start a Facebook page. I still refuse to get one though, mostly because I dislike seeing myself in pictures etc. That and I kinda like having slight anonymity. I have a cell phone and only those who need to know it.

But sometimes I try and weigh the options. Is not having FB hurting more then it's helping? Y'know, be exposed to more people, help with making connections and branching out?