Ever feel un-attractive ?
- Thread starter grapevine
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My entire life people have made fun of my looks. MY WHOLE LIFE. I'm mostly a recluse now so not many people see me, but when I was in school people used to look at me with disgust. (acne, birthmark, frizzy hair, eye bags, pale like a ghost(
Lots of people called me ugly and boys used to ask me out as a joke. One time I was walking to school to do a presentation and a group of boys across the street were screaming "You're gorgeous. You're so hot. Ha ha ha. I'm joking, you ugg, You're f**king ugly. Disgusting!"
They were also throwing rocks.
I don't actually think I look that bad. I just need a nose job, hair styling, new clothes, braces off, weight loss and skin treatment.
i don't really care anymore because all of these people who think they're God's gift aren't too great either. They just prance around in swimsuits and wears so much make up. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can improve their appearance if they put hours of effort into it.
Lots of people called me ugly and boys used to ask me out as a joke. One time I was walking to school to do a presentation and a group of boys across the street were screaming "You're gorgeous. You're so hot. Ha ha ha. I'm joking, you ugg, You're f**king ugly. Disgusting!"
They were also throwing rocks.
I don't actually think I look that bad. I just need a nose job, hair styling, new clothes, braces off, weight loss and skin treatment.
i don't really care anymore because all of these people who think they're God's gift aren't too great either. They just prance around in swimsuits and wears so much make up. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can improve their appearance if they put hours of effort into it.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, ah feel that way most of the time...
Ah got bullied most of my life for my appearance, at school, by family. You name it, I've heard it all.
Ah tend to talk back when ah get a mean comment, usually throw the putdown back in folks faces. Summit along the lines of. for example... "Hi! You're nae oil paintin' yerself, ya [insert expletives]!" or "Hardly a f**kin' supermodel, yersel"
But overall, ah try to remember other people's comments are not a reflect on me, but them.
Ah got bullied most of my life for my appearance, at school, by family. You name it, I've heard it all.
Ah tend to talk back when ah get a mean comment, usually throw the putdown back in folks faces. Summit along the lines of. for example... "Hi! You're nae oil paintin' yerself, ya [insert expletives]!" or "Hardly a f**kin' supermodel, yersel"
But overall, ah try to remember other people's comments are not a reflect on me, but them.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Also, I'm quite a stout fella. So, y'know, quite intimidatin' lookin'... Folk don't tend to want to approach me often because of that. :bigsmile:
planemo
Well-known member
Feeling ugly is a state of mind. There are people out there with serious disfigurements who don't care about how they look nor are they looking for any sympathy. It shows that ultimately no matter how you look you can still feel attractive. I was hoping to take some inspiration from watching a documentary about a guy with a tumor on his face, who despite that still works, has got three kids and a wife. But for me years of name calling and being treated like dirt has me feeling unattractive.
Am I unattractive? Ultimately it boils down to how I feel about myself. People who bully others know this, and they target those who are not actually ugly but those who are sensitive and believe their taunts and put downs. Think about it. I actually got called names and belittled for having the exact same characteristics as the ones who are belittling me! The reason I'm not insulting them is because they won't take my insults personally, nor do I get a kick from making people feel like dirt.
Am I unattractive? Ultimately it boils down to how I feel about myself. People who bully others know this, and they target those who are not actually ugly but those who are sensitive and believe their taunts and put downs. Think about it. I actually got called names and belittled for having the exact same characteristics as the ones who are belittling me! The reason I'm not insulting them is because they won't take my insults personally, nor do I get a kick from making people feel like dirt.
Niceguy23
Well-known member
I have been told I'm great looking all my life. I get happy when a woman says I'm cute, sexy etc but that feeling is just temporary. Most of the time I don't like the way I look and feel ugly. I guess its just in the mind but I have never had anyone make a bad comment about my appearance if they did I would probably cursed them out or smack the fire out them.
yush
Yes, the majority of the time. I'm trying not to be as obsessed with my appearance lately, but it is a difficult pattern of thinking to change. I still hate mirrors and pictures with a burning passion. I don't want an obsession with my appearance to control me in the way that it does.
Yes, the majority of the time. I'm trying not to be as obsessed with my appearance lately, but it is a difficult pattern of thinking to change. I still hate mirrors and pictures with a burning passion. I don't want an obsession with my appearance to control me in the way that it does.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I can only ever recall being called ugly once, when i was about 13.
I have no idea why the chick even said it to me as I didnt know her. I was passing her at the local pool.I was actually dumb struck as to why she would make the effort to make those comments to someone she didnt even know.
Years later I worked it out. People who are like that are simply insecure about themselves and will pick on others to make themselves feel better.
It's called 'leveling' (as in 'I'm bringing you down a level, or below my level').
I've had quite a few comments over the years from some attractive women saying they think I'm quite attractive. But I don't think I am. I don't see what they see in me.
I don't feel attractive at all.
I have no idea why the chick even said it to me as I didnt know her. I was passing her at the local pool.I was actually dumb struck as to why she would make the effort to make those comments to someone she didnt even know.
Years later I worked it out. People who are like that are simply insecure about themselves and will pick on others to make themselves feel better.
It's called 'leveling' (as in 'I'm bringing you down a level, or below my level').
I've had quite a few comments over the years from some attractive women saying they think I'm quite attractive. But I don't think I am. I don't see what they see in me.
I don't feel attractive at all.
FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
To start off, if I were to rate myself from 1-10 I'd honestly say I'm either a 5 or a 6 rating on my physical appearance. I don't want to be some of those people that sound vain, but I know that I'm not the MOST prettiest girl that has ever walked on this planet. I still have flaws and problems just like everyone else, just like every other human being on Earth. I sometimes hate when people overstate comments like "You have the greatest hair in the world." "You are perfect." I mean don't get me wrong, I don't mind receiving compliments once in a while if someone tells me your hair looks nice today or I love your shoes, ect. But there's times where people like to go over board and act as if I'm the only person in this world that's flawless and probably think I'm free from any problem in life. Wrong. I think due to my appearance, it may be part of the reason why no one ever takes me seriously, even if I try to show them my other qualities/traits that are worth more than just my appearance alone. Some people can't look beyond that. The only reason I look "perfect" when ever I meet people for any occasion is the make up that hides all my imperfections underneath. I'm not here to prove I'm better than anyone because of my looks. I have flaws/qualities about myself that don't make me perfect that people wouldn't notice, I'll list them: Flat feet, pimples/zits, dry thick hair, dark circles under eyes, double joints, near eye sightedness, non verbal skills, clumsiness, moles(there's one above my left eyebrow I had to get scraped off), tremors in my hands, ect. The only reason they don't notice these imperfections is when I fix myself up. That is the only time that people see who I am, they don't see the other side of me. Now if a lot of people knew all about this, I think they would be able to understand that I'm just like everyone else that has problems. I get irritated when people will treat me as if I'm a princess/ragdoll and I feel if it weren't for my looks alone, I would've never gone this far in my life, what with keeping friends/catching other people's attention. It's not necessarily a good thing that if all people are going to care about are my looks, then they are only going to see that aspect of myself and nothing more. I don't want to be seen as this typical eye candy hollywood star with no substance. I have talents that I'd like to pursue, writing, music, art, ect.
grapevine
Well-known member
I cant help but feel really sad esp - SadSally..
I am so sorry those things happened to you in your life. And you are right- you most probably dont look bad at all- its just that we go through difficult times in high school and people can just be so mean- and its also where you learn to socially conform too.
I am just starting more and more to like myself- inside and out. And even just starting to make that more powerful than anyone's thoughts on how I look now. I mean there are bad days- but there are more good days than ever.
I can see it so much clearer now- like when you watch tv shows and movies and you see people that aren't particuarly the mainstream in attractive - but yet they are attractive.. outside and in. It is a state of mind- its a feeling - and I know that people can say otherwise and my response to that is that we believe what we believe.
But yes it can be really hard when someone either directly or indirectly assumes your reflection of yourself negatively.
I am so sorry those things happened to you in your life. And you are right- you most probably dont look bad at all- its just that we go through difficult times in high school and people can just be so mean- and its also where you learn to socially conform too.
I am just starting more and more to like myself- inside and out. And even just starting to make that more powerful than anyone's thoughts on how I look now. I mean there are bad days- but there are more good days than ever.
I can see it so much clearer now- like when you watch tv shows and movies and you see people that aren't particuarly the mainstream in attractive - but yet they are attractive.. outside and in. It is a state of mind- its a feeling - and I know that people can say otherwise and my response to that is that we believe what we believe.
But yes it can be really hard when someone either directly or indirectly assumes your reflection of yourself negatively.
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
Sometimes I Do
Or have
Or have
Wynstar
Member
I suppose I've rarely thought of myself as attractive because I wear glasses, have some skin problems on my face, and don't dress well. It's not as important to me since I am a guy. Still I don't want to be thought of as a freak by other people, so I should probably start putting more effort into my appearance. One issue though, is that I have some health problems and I tend to get cold if I don't wear enough clothing. I need several layers of clothing to stay warm--which doesn't help my appearance--and I don't understand how some people are able to wear such skimpy clothing during the winter.
mantishugo
Well-known member
When somebody makes fun of my looks, I want to take it positively and check whether I can change my outer appearance. I work out, listen to loud music, and watch motivational movies to keep myself happy irrespective of what other people say about myself.
BlueDays
1
Fortunately the older you get the less you care about what most people say about your appearance.
With age you learn that the only people's opinion about your looks worth worrying about are the ones closest you to you.
Therefore only keep the people around you who DO NOT make any comments about your appearance that makes you feel unattractive.
In my opinion any person who says something negative and puts down someone's appearance is nasty, and therefore not worth having in your life. So don't place any importance in what they think about your looks.
With age you learn that the only people's opinion about your looks worth worrying about are the ones closest you to you.
Therefore only keep the people around you who DO NOT make any comments about your appearance that makes you feel unattractive.
In my opinion any person who says something negative and puts down someone's appearance is nasty, and therefore not worth having in your life. So don't place any importance in what they think about your looks.
BlueDays
1
Bingo!! PugofCrydee :thumbup:
@grapevine........It really helps to keep remind yourself of this whenever someone makes a negative comment about your looks.
theslowesthand
Banned
Recently i've started to rank myself looks-wise on a scale. I think what got me started down this route was hearing on tv some blonde bobshell replying to the qustion of how she'd rate her looks from 1-10, & she replied 15. So, following that logic, i have ranked myself -5. Don't ask me if its accurate, as its my general subjective feeling on the matter, and hasnt wavered much over my entire life (but i do have my momemts where it shoots right up). Could be my biploar at work .. could be the truth .. who knows.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Only when the guys I'm into aren't into me (which seems to be all the time).
mantishugo
Well-known member
We know what you feel when somebody says you're unattractive. But the question is, what one should do after that... Should he/she feel bad about it, or do something about it instead.
accidentprone
Active member
Yes, and I know I am. I'm too thin - no muscles whatsoever, I have glasses, and bad teeth... Even at 18, I wear braces. And people used to always make fun of my crooked teeth in HS... I would like to take better care of my appearance but not because I've heard all my life that I'm scrawny or unattractive... It would maybe make me feel more confident? :\
Back when I was bullied for my teeth, I obviously felt shitty on the inside, but I kind of brushed it aside and started caring more about other things... I'd rather have people judge me on the basis of my personality and merit so I've worked pretty damn hard to improve myself in those aspects. Now kindness, open-mindedness, and humor matter much more to me... I'd rather be those than just "handsome" or "hot" any day...
So I guess I just don't give a damn anymore about appearance. Neither should you.
Back when I was bullied for my teeth, I obviously felt shitty on the inside, but I kind of brushed it aside and started caring more about other things... I'd rather have people judge me on the basis of my personality and merit so I've worked pretty damn hard to improve myself in those aspects. Now kindness, open-mindedness, and humor matter much more to me... I'd rather be those than just "handsome" or "hot" any day...
So I guess I just don't give a damn anymore about appearance. Neither should you.