Ever feel like you are fading out of society?

[S_Spartan]

I don't have much of a social life or many friends but lately it seems like the few I do have are fading out of my life all at the same time. I really do wonder sometimes if I'm becoming an invisible being. Emails/texts aren't replied to, a couple of times lately when I talked to people on the phone I could tell that they were reading on the computer and I was doing all the talking. I still talk to my ex a few times a week and normally we have long conversations with both of us talking but these past few times it's been me doing most of the talking while I hear mouse clicking in the background.
So I thought I would go on Craigslist and look for at least a pen pal and that hasn't been any better. Very few people respond back and the couple that have don't ask me any questions so here again I'm doing all the communicating. So it fizzles out.
What's going on? Is everyone turning into zombies that don't know how to communicate? I don't think that I'm doing anything different but I'm starting to become paranoid! Anyone else ever been through something like this?

 

[Earthcircle]

As I age, I definitely grow worse. In my 20s, I was trying so hard. I even moved to New York City, and met people there. (I also got tons of psychoanalytic psychotherapy. NYC really seems to be the place for that.) Now, in my late 40s, I live in the middle of nowhere with almost no social contacts at all. I don't see much of a future for myself.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Yes I always felt like that , sometimes its more frequent. Other times its not but it comes and goes. I never had alot of friends.

 

[mikebird]

I just know how to be overlooked

 

[Psychedelicious]

Faded

I've never truly experienced what it's like to be a part of society to begin with...

 

[S_Spartan]

I don't have many friends and I know that it would be nearly impossible for me to make new friends now with my SA and my age. I guess I need to just find some stuff to do to keep my mind off this problem as it's starting to make me nervous.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I felt like that today in class........totally felt like an alien. It's like I'm marching to a different beat. I feel like people always underestimate me and then I have to go over and beyond before they recognize my talents. But today, I felt pretty stupid, which didn't help matters any.

 

[BlueDays]

Re: Faded

I've never truly experienced what it's like to be a part of society to begin with...

^ This!
I don't think I will ever fit into what is "normal" in the eyes of society. It is hard to find let alone keep friends when you have trouble keeping a conversation going about all the "normal" things the sheeple like to make small talk about.

 

[jaim38]

For most of my life, I never felt as if I belonged in society. My communication skills are subpar.

What's going on? Is everyone turning into zombies that don't know how to communicate?

I'm experiencing the opposite actually. People are better communicators than me, except for ESL students. I feel like a zombie when I go out and interact with people.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

It does feel like no one takes me seriously, like no one is listening to me. It is frustrating. Just because I have no life doesn't mean I don't have anything to say I have actually written ads on CL for friendship and such. Though I never did go along with them. What I do know is that there are a lot of lonely people. Just so hard to find them and make that connection.

 

[oddOne]

My own avoidance of people has a partially utilitarian root, as being around others clouds my thoughts to the point of being incapacitating. For this, my SA isn’t COMPLETELY to blame. However, the soul-sucking result of the SA existing in tandem with two other conditions (ADHD & MDD) is what most contributes to my minimal social interaction. Each condition seems to enhance the other, like a synergistic trio of self-perpetuating demotivation.

Anyway, in short, I’ve already faded away . . . but not entirely, as a desire to engage others still exists. People listen to me, as my social skills are oddly quite good despite my seclusion. However, that social “desire” tends to be quickly extinguished by an overwhelming fear, almost paranoia of being misinterpreted . . . it’s a “catch-22” of sorts. *sigh

I’d like to know whether the just mentioned apprehension might be subdued when talking to a like-minded individual . . . eh, it is an odd thing, the human mind…

 

[Kiwong]

I think fading out of my society would be a dream. To be able to enter it on my terms

 

[nodejesque]

I feel like that all the time. The friends who are left.. and try, I push out. I figure it'll be easier than disappointing them. I observe around me and notice that life goes on... and I just blend to the background.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I feel like that all the time. The friends who are left.. and try, I push out. I figure it'll be easier than disappointing them. I observe around me and notice that life goes on... and I just blend to the background.

Why do you think you'll disappoint them? I know what you mean about blending in the background. I do that too...or try.

 

[nodejesque]

I feel that im not what they deserve. And im too stuck in my head to participate in anything... they give up. Disappointed. That... and it wont be disappointing when I irrevocably fade away.

 

[Starry]

What's going on? Is everyone turning into zombies that don't know how to communicate? I don't think that I'm doing anything different but I'm starting to become paranoid! Anyone else ever been through something like this?

Yes... I can't speak for people in real life as I have no friends and speak to nobody other than a few family members and my husband, but online people are becoming worse and worse at communicating... Personally, I blame things like FaceBook and Twitter... Why bother having actual conversations with anyone when you can just update everyone with exactly what you're doing in a few words in a status?

I also blame the fact people are becoming more and more self-absorbed and selfish... Very few people actually seem to have time to bother with other people if they don't get something worthwhile in return, hence the number of so-called "friends", who are all around you when they're lonely, but as soon as someone else comes along it's "bye" or more commonly, just silence...

It permeates through all things from throwing away clothes because they're "last season" or have a slight tear, rather than forgetting about "fashion" or fixing them... We've become a society where we use something for as long as it suits us and throw it away when we don't need it anymore... People don't seem to need friendships anymore, after all, they have so many friends on FB and so many followers on Twitter...


Personally though, I've never been part of society in the sense of being fully immersed in it. I've always been different. Always found that I am the loyal friend whilst others simply use me until they no longer need me. But do you know what? I've gained a wonderful perspective on society that way and know I don't want to be part of it. I simply want a few people who I fit in with, who also don't fit in with society... I have my husband, and there are others out there too... Wonderful people...

 

[FeartheGreat]

Every day of my life I feel this, but it's been so long now I don't seem to care anymore. I have a small group of buddies that like to remind me every now and then that I'm not forgotten so thats nice, but overall I stopped caring ages ago. I'm not say that you shouldn't care, thats not the best answer to this situation. Just remember that no matter how much it seems like everyone's forgotten you, there is someone or some people out there that do remember you.

 

[neohorizon]

i hate when people dont answer my questions or dont say anything when i comment something, like ignoring me... i feel terrible! Than i have to say "HEY!!! i'm talking to you" but usually i dont say anything and stay invisible Sneak

I feel that its my fault cause i'm not confident in what i'm saying, i'm to anxious!

 

[jaim38]

Personally though, I've never been part of society in the sense of being fully immersed in it. I've always been different. Always found that I am the loyal friend whilst others simply use me until they no longer need me. But do you know what? I've gained a wonderful perspective on society that way and know I don't want to be part of it. I simply want a few people who I fit in with, who also don't fit in with society... I have my husband, and there are others out there too... Wonderful people...

This is what I want to do. Good advice.

 

[planemo]

Yes... I can't speak for people in real life as I have no friends and speak to nobody other than a few family members and my husband, but online people are becoming worse and worse at communicating... Personally, I blame things like FaceBook and Twitter... Why bother having actual conversations with anyone when you can just update everyone with exactly what you're doing in a few words in a status?

I also blame the fact people are becoming more and more self-absorbed and selfish... Very few people actually seem to have time to bother with other people if they don't get something worthwhile in return, hence the number of so-called "friends", who are all around you when they're lonely, but as soon as someone else comes along it's "bye" or more commonly, just silence...

It permeates through all things from throwing away clothes because they're "last season" or have a slight tear, rather than forgetting about "fashion" or fixing them... We've become a society where we use something for as long as it suits us and throw it away when we don't need it anymore... People don't seem to need friendships anymore, after all, they have so many friends on FB and so many followers on Twitter...


Personally though, I've never been part of society in the sense of being fully immersed in it. I've always been different. Always found that I am the loyal friend whilst others simply use me until they no longer need me. But do you know what? I've gained a wonderful perspective on society that way and know I don't want to be part of it. I simply want a few people who I fit in with, who also don't fit in with society... I have my husband, and there are others out there too... Wonderful people...

i agree with you Starry. people these days tend to use others for support or friendship and then discard you when they feel they no longer need you. i got that a lot from "friends" i made on other forums. fortunately i've met some really good folks on here.

i've never formed part of society either. from childhood i have always been the one who went his own way. when i did try to make friends with those around me i felt awkward and to be honest i couldn't really tolerate the childishness and lack of sympathy towards others who are "less fortunate".

being part of my community made me feel more isolated, and i must admit it mostly kept me away from inappropriate and immature negative stereotyping and value judgments.

i think i have over the last number of years become completely separate form society and the community i live in. i think a good yard stick to judge how well immersed you are in your community is to wonder who will care or even come to your own funeral. for me most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me being alive and me being dead. i have family in the city i live in, but most of them are complete strangers to me now, so me being gone would hardly rock their world. my family who live in another city will hardly feel obliged to take a plane and come to pay their respects.

if anyone did pitch up it would be out of respect and due to knowing my dad. would anyone besides a handful of people really be taken aback by me being gone? the answer would have to be a resounding "no".