EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I think they're really desperate for work ;P lol, thanks though. That's true, I'm going to remind myself on a daily basis how badly I wanted this job.
Escape's Journal.
- Thread starter EscapeArtist
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I think they're really desperate for work ;P lol, thanks though. That's true, I'm going to remind myself on a daily basis how badly I wanted this job.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Hi everybody.
I haven't had much to update on this journal, as i've had about 2 weeks off of work and have sunken into a dont-go-outside-except-for-groceries state.
Oh, but I'm doing the raw food thing. I'm on day 15, I plan to go.... for as long as I have good results really.
I went out yesterday to get groceries, and once again, I felt unusually at home everywhere I went. I felt unusually comfortable in my body, and I spoke without thinking. Even if I am about to think about something before I say it, I say the right thing before I can over think it. It's hard to explain. It's like the translation between my speech and my thinking is a separate organ under it's own control and it's working a lot better! Because I was in my house for 2 weeks I did have pre-anxiety, basically anxiety before going out, anxiety before getting to the market, etc, because I thought my body would respond in the same anxious ways as it did in the close past, but it just didn't happen.
The other thing that has changed so far with this diet is that I don't have to frantically find places to look when I'm in a public place. I just kind of have a flow of thought now, and it keeps me busy, I was in a busy bus with some people in front of me looking at me and children and It hit me that I wasn't freaking out about where to look.
I even had enough energy to hang out with a friend that i've been telling off every day for a month because of fatigue.
I originally went raw because last time, after 30 days, my depression and anxiety was totally gone, just like that. This time I did it because my depression was getting a lot worse, and yes, I'm feeling a LOT happier and a LOT less apathetic. It's hard to explain, it's like there's a new level to everything. The expression on a face means more, sounds sound better, exercise feels so good. Anyways I must sound crazy. I'll update this when more dramatic changes in anxiety and depression related fields change
I hope work feels better too. Lol. I start on Monday
I haven't had much to update on this journal, as i've had about 2 weeks off of work and have sunken into a dont-go-outside-except-for-groceries state.
Oh, but I'm doing the raw food thing. I'm on day 15, I plan to go.... for as long as I have good results really.
I went out yesterday to get groceries, and once again, I felt unusually at home everywhere I went. I felt unusually comfortable in my body, and I spoke without thinking. Even if I am about to think about something before I say it, I say the right thing before I can over think it. It's hard to explain. It's like the translation between my speech and my thinking is a separate organ under it's own control and it's working a lot better! Because I was in my house for 2 weeks I did have pre-anxiety, basically anxiety before going out, anxiety before getting to the market, etc, because I thought my body would respond in the same anxious ways as it did in the close past, but it just didn't happen.
The other thing that has changed so far with this diet is that I don't have to frantically find places to look when I'm in a public place. I just kind of have a flow of thought now, and it keeps me busy, I was in a busy bus with some people in front of me looking at me and children and It hit me that I wasn't freaking out about where to look.
I even had enough energy to hang out with a friend that i've been telling off every day for a month because of fatigue.
I originally went raw because last time, after 30 days, my depression and anxiety was totally gone, just like that. This time I did it because my depression was getting a lot worse, and yes, I'm feeling a LOT happier and a LOT less apathetic. It's hard to explain, it's like there's a new level to everything. The expression on a face means more, sounds sound better, exercise feels so good. Anyways I must sound crazy. I'll update this when more dramatic changes in anxiety and depression related fields change
I hope work feels better too. Lol. I start on Monday
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Well today was nice. I slept early yesterday allowing myself 9 hours of sleep before work. I have been very sleep deprived before (4-5 hours sleep a night = zombie).
I'm having to put my bike on the bus, to ride the last few miles to work, and wow it was anxiety provoking when I first had to put the bike on the bus. I still am, I've only done it 3 times. people in the bus and the bus driver just watch you, watch you lift it (which is a struggle if you are weak like me), and pull that darn lever over the wheel which is actually really difficult seeing it locks down every second. And lastly, telling the bus driver you are going to take your bike off of the bus when you leave. But hey I got over the ultimate fear of doing that.
Work was 1-2 hours of weeding the farm fields, and then 5-6 hours of harvesting (basil, lettuce, raspberries) I love picking raspberries It reminds me of childhood, berry picking... My family used to bring home buckets and buckets of them at a time and we all practically lived off of black and blueberries for the next few days. Sometimes we made it an occasion to visit the blackberry bushes in the park just outside the house, they were everywhere! I can't believe how disregarded blackberry bushes are in the northwest, and then people buy a pint for like 4 dollars... ANYWAYS
My farm boss person let us know today that he is taking a 1 month leave out of stress and anxiety. Then my coworker and I got to chatting a bit about anxiety and depression, about how her sister has anxiety and she used to struggle with depression but overcame it through natural means. I realized today that depression and anxiety are something that 99% of the population struggles with at some point. I even admitted that I had left school because of anxiety and depression and it didn't phase her. I had always thought that I was the only one, for some reason, or that maybe 10% dealt with it (the statistic for social anxiety), but the truth is that everybody does.
And an update on the raw diet on anxiety, my anxiety is a lot lesser, I am able to chat a little bit to bus drivers and I still am in awe when words come out of my mouth without me thinking first. Definitely not perfect yet, I believe it is still improving. My energy level is up, before I was really fatigued and every day of work was pure hell, but now I can work on a farm (sometimes quite physical) and bike back the 7 miles.
That's all for updates...
I'm having to put my bike on the bus, to ride the last few miles to work, and wow it was anxiety provoking when I first had to put the bike on the bus. I still am, I've only done it 3 times. people in the bus and the bus driver just watch you, watch you lift it (which is a struggle if you are weak like me), and pull that darn lever over the wheel which is actually really difficult seeing it locks down every second. And lastly, telling the bus driver you are going to take your bike off of the bus when you leave. But hey I got over the ultimate fear of doing that.
Work was 1-2 hours of weeding the farm fields, and then 5-6 hours of harvesting (basil, lettuce, raspberries) I love picking raspberries
It reminds me of childhood, berry picking... My family used to bring home buckets and buckets of them at a time and we all practically lived off of black and blueberries for the next few days. Sometimes we made it an occasion to visit the blackberry bushes in the park just outside the house, they were everywhere! I can't believe how disregarded blackberry bushes are in the northwest, and then people buy a pint for like 4 dollars... ANYWAYSMy farm boss person let us know today that he is taking a 1 month leave out of stress and anxiety. Then my coworker and I got to chatting a bit about anxiety and depression, about how her sister has anxiety and she used to struggle with depression but overcame it through natural means. I realized today that depression and anxiety are something that 99% of the population struggles with at some point. I even admitted that I had left school because of anxiety and depression and it didn't phase her. I had always thought that I was the only one, for some reason, or that maybe 10% dealt with it (the statistic for social anxiety), but the truth is that everybody does.
And an update on the raw diet on anxiety, my anxiety is a lot lesser, I am able to chat a little bit to bus drivers and I still am in awe when words come out of my mouth without me thinking first. Definitely not perfect yet, I believe it is still improving. My energy level is up, before I was really fatigued and every day of work was pure hell, but now I can work on a farm (sometimes quite physical) and bike back the 7 miles.
That's all for updates...
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Ooh, good to hear about your new adventures!! WOW, 7 miles there *and* work there!! /admires you/
It sounds good, the raw thing, you even got me wondering now... though I don't know what I'd eat, lol. What do you eat? eg per day or per week?
Some raw food does make me feel great, not sure if I could do 100% even for a week or so...
Do you just eat veggies or also fruit or...?
I was thinking about giving up milk maybe but cocoa seems to be the one thing that really calms me down, so... huh?
I'm still mostly gluten-free (not 100% though, it's hard to do it completely sometimes) and I feel way less brainfog etc. Still don't feel 100% of what I could, maybe it's not all nutrition-related though...
And I've been under stress/pressure etc.
Good to hear you had nice discussions at the farm! Yeah, I think everybody goes through some of this too, maybe in a minor degree or just brief... Some people may get a bigger 'dose' or more life problems etc. I think you turned out pretty well from what you wrote about your family life etc!
So, hoping things continue to go well &/or improve!
I also hope you get enough B12, zinc, magnesium etc!!
It sounds good, the raw thing, you even got me wondering now... though I don't know what I'd eat, lol. What do you eat? eg per day or per week?
Some raw food does make me feel great, not sure if I could do 100% even for a week or so...
Do you just eat veggies or also fruit or...?
I was thinking about giving up milk maybe but cocoa seems to be the one thing that really calms me down, so... huh?
I'm still mostly gluten-free (not 100% though, it's hard to do it completely sometimes) and I feel way less brainfog etc. Still don't feel 100% of what I could, maybe it's not all nutrition-related though...
And I've been under stress/pressure etc.
Good to hear you had nice discussions at the farm! Yeah, I think everybody goes through some of this too, maybe in a minor degree or just brief... Some people may get a bigger 'dose' or more life problems etc. I think you turned out pretty well from what you wrote about your family life etc!
So, hoping things continue to go well &/or improve!
I also hope you get enough B12, zinc, magnesium etc!!
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Why thank you for the reply kind Feathers 7 miles I guess isn't that long lol but it is on top of all tha twork. I will keep up on the b12 zinc and magnesium
I'm thinking that I'm going to quit my job. It is WAY too stressful. On the 2 weeks off that I had, I was happy again. Working so physically with fatigue problems is putting my stress level off of the charts and I am sabotaging my diet which is extremely important in avoiding the fatigue and for feeling how I want to anxiety wise. Not only that, my shoulders and knees have been in constant pain for the last week.''
Funny, I took the job to support a healthier diet and to save for traveling after I would regain energy on the diet, but the stress of the job that I am using to make that money is sabotaging those very reasons. I have had some good moments but working there 30 hours a week is not worth what it's doing to my health and stress levels, it's just not. I have enough money to live off of for 3 months, that should be enough time to really work on the energy level problems and find another job in September.
I think I have made a decision, I am going to give them notice that I have to quit because I'm struggling with fatigue and need time to really heal myself.
I was stupid and took an extra shift on Saturday for a guy who really needed to see his grandparents. Unfortunately his position is different than mine, and it is basically a very social position, handing out fliers and running stands. I am so stressed that I just don't want to wake up tomorrow. How do some of you manage full time work? :/
In the end, all of this has made me realize that I may need more time before I WWOOF or travel. I can't rush healing, and I'm going to need high energy levels to live that dream. I think I may go back to school and finish grade 12 this year and just buckle down and focus on getting what needs to be done, done..
7 miles I guess isn't that long lol but it is on top of all tha twork. I will keep up on the b12 zinc and magnesium I'm thinking that I'm going to quit my job. It is WAY too stressful. On the 2 weeks off that I had, I was happy again. Working so physically with fatigue problems is putting my stress level off of the charts and I am sabotaging my diet which is extremely important in avoiding the fatigue and for feeling how I want to anxiety wise. Not only that, my shoulders and knees have been in constant pain for the last week.''
Funny, I took the job to support a healthier diet and to save for traveling after I would regain energy on the diet, but the stress of the job that I am using to make that money is sabotaging those very reasons. I have had some good moments but working there 30 hours a week is not worth what it's doing to my health and stress levels, it's just not. I have enough money to live off of for 3 months, that should be enough time to really work on the energy level problems and find another job in September.
I think I have made a decision, I am going to give them notice that I have to quit because I'm struggling with fatigue and need time to really heal myself.
I was stupid and took an extra shift on Saturday for a guy who really needed to see his grandparents. Unfortunately his position is different than mine, and it is basically a very social position, handing out fliers and running stands. I am so stressed that I just don't want to wake up tomorrow. How do some of you manage full time work? :/
In the end, all of this has made me realize that I may need more time before I WWOOF or travel. I can't rush healing, and I'm going to need high energy levels to live that dream. I think I may go back to school and finish grade 12 this year and just buckle down and focus on getting what needs to be done, done..
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Screw what I said last. My job gets me out of the house and sometimes I actually enjoy it, that is an amazing gift. Yes there are some days where it feels like absolute HELL! But those days are more because I am off internally, not externally...
On saturday when I was working, I met a volunteer who happened to be trying to transition to a raw diet also. She had a little list of people she had met while working in the store and put their names on a list for a raw-food potluck here So my name's on that. That's pretty cool, that's an interest that I thought was rare to find people to share it with!
I had to work the only cash register at the farm store on Saturday, and it was really nerve wracking even though it's a really small store. It was during a festival event so it was pretty busy for that small place, I messed up a few times and there were many products that had no price and that I didn't have a price for, so some rather unsatisfied customers made me anxious. One lady seemed like a very angry lady. I accidentally sold an old man some free carrots. Other than that it went pretty well. Standing in a store, welcoming people in with a 'hello', trying to make small talk and then saying good bye is somehow metaphoric for welcoming people in and out of your life. It felt somehow reassuring to see another very different person come in a few minutes after others left.
I am meeting up with old friends next week, friends that I pushed away out of low self esteem, and one an ex-best-friend. Super excited!
On saturday when I was working, I met a volunteer who happened to be trying to transition to a raw diet also. She had a little list of people she had met while working in the store and put their names on a list for a raw-food potluck here
So my name's on that. That's pretty cool, that's an interest that I thought was rare to find people to share it with!I had to work the only cash register at the farm store on Saturday, and it was really nerve wracking even though it's a really small store. It was during a festival event so it was pretty busy for that small place, I messed up a few times and there were many products that had no price and that I didn't have a price for, so some rather unsatisfied customers made me anxious. One lady seemed like a very angry lady. I accidentally sold an old man some free carrots. Other than that it went pretty well. Standing in a store, welcoming people in with a 'hello', trying to make small talk and then saying good bye is somehow metaphoric for welcoming people in and out of your life. It felt somehow reassuring to see another very different person come in a few minutes after others left.
I am meeting up with old friends next week, friends that I pushed away out of low self esteem, and one an ex-best-friend. Super excited!
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Hello everybody
It's a stressful and pivotal time for me in the house these past few days, as I have to make up my mind about whether or not I am leaving for the year to go to an eco-village/commune/organic farm for the year to come as a big shove and big challenge. I have realized now, it comes down to funds. I have been spending most of my money on my expensive diet of fresh produce because I'm a big believer that happiness must first come from inside, and that the body and diseases of the body are very affected by diet.
I have no regrets for the fact that I'm spending so much of my first earned money on food for myself because I know that I'm feeling better each week.
So.. This is what I am doing. I am going to find a eco-village/commune/(more likely) a farm in a place where I won't have to buy food, it will be grown. I will either WWOOF or just be on an internship. Right now I'm looking at Hawaii, possibly somewhere in the southern united states, or Costa Rica. I'm probably more likely to find a farm to WWOOF on rather than an eco-village that has a farm. I'm pretty sure that I can have about 1100 dollars saved for 2 months from now when my job ends and that's when I'll be leaving.
I have been bouncing back and forth with this decision, 2 days ago I decided firmly to stay and finish school this year. I am changing my mind today because I immediately felt let-down by my decision, and also being in this house with that decision has completely made me realize the importance of finding a better atmosphere for my healing. My mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health is more important than finishing grade 12 THIS year.
What's different is that I am not viewing this upcoming experience as a luxurious, perfect escape from all the misery in my life. I realize it will be more challenging than staying home, in fact I will be more than happy with the experience even if I don't talk at all and people don't take notice of me, I still gain some. But I don't plan to do that, I plan to really push myself.
I would have never come to this decision if it weren't for having a job and social exposure 30 hours a week. I feel like I now understand that I really don't have to be perfect to just be accepted, actually it's quite easy to be accepted unless it's by people who can't accept themselves. Yes, even if you're quiet and you say nothing, people can still not mind, like, and even love, your personality!
Another huge thing I have learned is that everybody has or has had these problems. It is so important to get out and talk to people every day.
Anyways yeah... So tomorrow I am going to spend the day finding a location online, and I am going to call them and set it all up and everything, just keep on believing that I'll have enough for the flight.
It's a stressful and pivotal time for me in the house these past few days, as I have to make up my mind about whether or not I am leaving for the year to go to an eco-village/commune/organic farm for the year to come as a big shove and big challenge. I have realized now, it comes down to funds. I have been spending most of my money on my expensive diet of fresh produce because I'm a big believer that happiness must first come from inside, and that the body and diseases of the body are very affected by diet.
I have no regrets for the fact that I'm spending so much of my first earned money on food for myself because I know that I'm feeling better each week.
So.. This is what I am doing. I am going to find a eco-village/commune/(more likely) a farm in a place where I won't have to buy food, it will be grown. I will either WWOOF or just be on an internship. Right now I'm looking at Hawaii, possibly somewhere in the southern united states, or Costa Rica. I'm probably more likely to find a farm to WWOOF on rather than an eco-village that has a farm. I'm pretty sure that I can have about 1100 dollars saved for 2 months from now when my job ends and that's when I'll be leaving.
I have been bouncing back and forth with this decision, 2 days ago I decided firmly to stay and finish school this year. I am changing my mind today because I immediately felt let-down by my decision, and also being in this house with that decision has completely made me realize the importance of finding a better atmosphere for my healing. My mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health is more important than finishing grade 12 THIS year.
What's different is that I am not viewing this upcoming experience as a luxurious, perfect escape from all the misery in my life. I realize it will be more challenging than staying home, in fact I will be more than happy with the experience even if I don't talk at all and people don't take notice of me, I still gain some. But I don't plan to do that, I plan to really push myself.
I would have never come to this decision if it weren't for having a job and social exposure 30 hours a week. I feel like I now understand that I really don't have to be perfect to just be accepted, actually it's quite easy to be accepted unless it's by people who can't accept themselves. Yes, even if you're quiet and you say nothing, people can still not mind, like, and even love, your personality!
Another huge thing I have learned is that everybody has or has had these problems. It is so important to get out and talk to people every day.
Anyways yeah... So tomorrow I am going to spend the day finding a location online, and I am going to call them and set it all up and everything, just keep on believing that I'll have enough for the flight.
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Hey
well I think if go there is what you want and think its best you should definitely do it, you are still young so wait 1 year for finish school isnt that much the more important thing is focus on keep better and do what makes you happy the other things can wait.
and well nobody is perfect and you should be who you are and if ppl dont accept you well its their loss and they dont deserve have you in their lives though.
well I hope next time you come with good news bout the place
well I think if go there is what you want and think its best you should definitely do it, you are still young so wait 1 year for finish school isnt that much the more important thing is focus on keep better and do what makes you happy the other things can wait.
and well nobody is perfect and you should be who you are and if ppl dont accept you well its their loss and they dont deserve have you in their lives though.
well I hope next time you come with good news bout the place
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Hey Dan F, Thanks I really value your advice. I agree with what you said... But it's really good to hear it from somebody else
I'm debating over a few places at the moment, the one that I really wanted to go to isn't accepting visitors this year. That really sucks. The other one I am looking at has 100 members! It's huge and has been around for a very long time, I would not have to pay anything for food/board if I got accepted into work exchange, but it's not going to be a nice winter there... The other ones I'm considering have some flaws, like needing to buy most of my food, pay to go there, maybe the atmosphere doesn't seem quite right or the entire place is only 4 people large. So this one I'm leaning on right now because 1. I don't have to pay, and that's good because I have no money to do so and 2. It looks like it's really easy going and accepting, given the large amount of people and the diversity of types of people. There are some downsides to this one that I have settled on, the nature is not the type of nature that I think I would require to reconnect with.... I may have to eat a strict diet or buy some of my own food, and also to visit you have to first stay for 3 weeks and then go away somewhere for 10 days while they consider whether or not you can even stay.
That's my update. I lied, I haven't called the place yet.
Mainly because I feel like I didn't do what I said I would and get 'ready' in spirit mind and body for this. I have only 1 month now until my job ends so I need to get myself ready. I need to begin a strict dietary, exercise-itary, and emotional lifestyle change, which includes avoiding the situations that make me feel worse about myself, creating a safe place where I can relax, really buckling down on alkalizing my body, including supplements, and keeping up with daily outings. I do enough exercise at my job for now... But I will include it half way through more-so.
I guess if I plan on going next month, I'm going to be calling a little bit late... I hope they don't mind me calling 2 weeks before I go because I want to put up a good impression and be more on the ball by then. I have to jump on this now
I'm debating over a few places at the moment, the one that I really wanted to go to isn't accepting visitors this year. That really sucks. The other one I am looking at has 100 members! It's huge and has been around for a very long time, I would not have to pay anything for food/board if I got accepted into work exchange, but it's not going to be a nice winter there... The other ones I'm considering have some flaws, like needing to buy most of my food, pay to go there, maybe the atmosphere doesn't seem quite right or the entire place is only 4 people large. So this one I'm leaning on right now because 1. I don't have to pay, and that's good because I have no money to do so and 2. It looks like it's really easy going and accepting, given the large amount of people and the diversity of types of people. There are some downsides to this one that I have settled on, the nature is not the type of nature that I think I would require to reconnect with.... I may have to eat a strict diet or buy some of my own food, and also to visit you have to first stay for 3 weeks and then go away somewhere for 10 days while they consider whether or not you can even stay.
That's my update. I lied, I haven't called the place yet.
Mainly because I feel like I didn't do what I said I would and get 'ready' in spirit mind and body for this. I have only 1 month now until my job ends so I need to get myself ready. I need to begin a strict dietary, exercise-itary, and emotional lifestyle change, which includes avoiding the situations that make me feel worse about myself, creating a safe place where I can relax, really buckling down on alkalizing my body, including supplements, and keeping up with daily outings. I do enough exercise at my job for now... But I will include it half way through more-so.
I guess if I plan on going next month, I'm going to be calling a little bit late... I hope they don't mind me calling 2 weeks before I go because I want to put up a good impression and be more on the ball by then. I have to jump on this now
Hey there
well its bad that you cant go to the place that you really wanted to but I think the other oprtion its quite good and you should definatly go for it.
Its really good that it looks like that and the fact that there is a diversity of types of people there increase a lot the possibility that you will find out someone that you will get along with and thats is always good. Even though the type of nature is not what you expected it can turn out to be a good thing sometimes the new and unexpected turns out to be great and you need to stay positive that you will be acepted =)
Set a date for the call I know it isnt easy ( im been delaying check the school I want to go and call it for clarify some things though) and in the end you will feel that you arent ready and end up delaying it but try set a date and call it and no excuses for dont do it even though its gonna be hard in the end you will feel good because you did.
Anyways wish you the best and dont forgot to keep us updated
well its bad that you cant go to the place that you really wanted to but I think the other oprtion its quite good and you should definatly go for it.
Its really good that it looks like that and the fact that there is a diversity of types of people there increase a lot the possibility that you will find out someone that you will get along with and thats is always good. Even though the type of nature is not what you expected it can turn out to be a good thing sometimes the new and unexpected turns out to be great and you need to stay positive that you will be acepted =)
Set a date for the call I know it isnt easy ( im been delaying check the school I want to go and call it for clarify some things though) and in the end you will feel that you arent ready and end up delaying it but try set a date and call it and no excuses for dont do it even though its gonna be hard in the end you will feel good because you did.
Anyways wish you the best and dont forgot to keep us updated
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Hello everybody
So, these last few weeks I have been eating what I thought was really good, but I have not gotten the effects of the last time I ate an alkaline diet (such as no anxiety, depression, and lots of energy; I did not get these). I expected not to have anxiety at this point. But after watching a movie about reversing blood sugar problems I found myself researching blood sugar and Hypoglycemia.
I'm pretty damn sure I have hypoglycemia and I'm pretty damn sure that's what is the cause behind most of my ailments, including social anxiety and depression.
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/hypoglycemia.htm
The Symptoms of Hypoglycemia
Mental
Anxiety - ranging from constant worry to panic attacks. -check
Phobias - claustrophobia, agoraphobia, acrophobia, and so on. This is anxiety tied to a particular issue. -check
Nervousness -check
Restlessness -check
Irritability - check
Depression - especially with females -check
Violent outbursts - especially with males -check
Obsessive Compulsive Behavior -not as bad but still sometimes
Forgetfulness - this may just be choline/inositol deficiency. -check
Inability to concentrate - check
Unsocial, Asocial, Anti-Social behavior - check
Crying spells - check
Nightmares & night terrors - terror can continue after you wake up. It is especially indicative of hypoglycemia if you wake in a cold sweat, if the terror continues, if there is pressure on the chest, or if you are unable to breathe.
Headaches - especially if a meal is missed.
Tachycardia - racing pulse due to high adrenaline.
Fatigue, weakness, "rubbery" legs. -Check; this is one of the main problems and is making my physical job impossible.
Tremor or trembling of arm, leg, or whole body (outside or inside) -Sometimes check
Twitching, jerking, or cramping of a leg muscle - cramping may be just calcium or magnesium deficiency or food allergy response. -Check
Waking after 2-3 hrs sleep
Tinnitus - ringing in the ear, due to high insulin in about 70 % of tinnitus cases.
Abnormal weight - too high or too low. -Check IMO
Compulsive craving for sweets, colas, coffee, alcohol -check
Lack of appetite
A diagnosis of "mitral valve prolapse"
Crawling sensations on skin -check
Fainting
Blurred vision -check
Smothering spells - gasping for breath
Red blotches on skin or circular arcs of red skin
Lack of sexual drive - check
Chest pain - severe, but EKG normal.
Can't tolerate bright light or loud sounds -check
Joint pains -check
Not to mention ALWAYS thirsty, and urination every hour, plus twice in the middle of the night... = symptoms of diabetes I have been trying to find out about.
I have been eating a diet high in fruit, thinking I was making huge strides, but nothing was changing for me. In this movie the patients eat a diet that allows NO sugary foods (fruit, for example, or even carrots) and while their illnesses disappeared, their mental health changed too.
I know this sounds extreme to the majority of the population but this makes perfect sense to me and i'm willing to give this a shot and see what happens with me mentally.
I tried the diet yesterday and today and I felt 100% better by the 2nd day already, then I decided to test it by eating honey w/ a banana and immediately the good feelings went away and I felt tired, cranky, and anxious .
So I embark on this challenge and I am going to update along each major change, I am jumping back on the anti-hypoglycemia diet...
Now the only problem is work. Work stresses me out, and is extremely physical. 8 hours a day on a farm, 4 days a week. I have realized that I can not change my lifestyle with this pressure on me, It just becomes too much. The only time I was able to pick myself back up was when I had 2 weeks off. I'm actually going to tell my boss that I have to take a few weeks off to take care of health conditions, and if I'm not allowed for some reason, I'm going to quit (my program ends in a month anyways), because then I will have 1200 dollars at least to do this thing which can give me 3 months of food before I have to have found another job.
So, these last few weeks I have been eating what I thought was really good, but I have not gotten the effects of the last time I ate an alkaline diet (such as no anxiety, depression, and lots of energy; I did not get these). I expected not to have anxiety at this point. But after watching a movie about reversing blood sugar problems I found myself researching blood sugar and Hypoglycemia.
I'm pretty damn sure I have hypoglycemia and I'm pretty damn sure that's what is the cause behind most of my ailments, including social anxiety and depression.
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/hypoglycemia.htm
The Symptoms of Hypoglycemia
Mental
Anxiety - ranging from constant worry to panic attacks. -check
Phobias - claustrophobia, agoraphobia, acrophobia, and so on. This is anxiety tied to a particular issue. -check
Nervousness -check
Restlessness -check
Irritability - check
Depression - especially with females -check
Violent outbursts - especially with males -check
Obsessive Compulsive Behavior -not as bad but still sometimes
Forgetfulness - this may just be choline/inositol deficiency. -check
Inability to concentrate - check
Unsocial, Asocial, Anti-Social behavior - check
Crying spells - check
Nightmares & night terrors - terror can continue after you wake up. It is especially indicative of hypoglycemia if you wake in a cold sweat, if the terror continues, if there is pressure on the chest, or if you are unable to breathe.
Headaches - especially if a meal is missed.
Tachycardia - racing pulse due to high adrenaline.
Fatigue, weakness, "rubbery" legs. -Check; this is one of the main problems and is making my physical job impossible.
Tremor or trembling of arm, leg, or whole body (outside or inside) -Sometimes check
Twitching, jerking, or cramping of a leg muscle - cramping may be just calcium or magnesium deficiency or food allergy response. -Check
Waking after 2-3 hrs sleep
Tinnitus - ringing in the ear, due to high insulin in about 70 % of tinnitus cases.
Abnormal weight - too high or too low. -Check IMO
Compulsive craving for sweets, colas, coffee, alcohol -check
Lack of appetite
A diagnosis of "mitral valve prolapse"
Crawling sensations on skin -check
Fainting
Blurred vision -check
Smothering spells - gasping for breath
Red blotches on skin or circular arcs of red skin
Lack of sexual drive - check
Chest pain - severe, but EKG normal.
Can't tolerate bright light or loud sounds -check
Joint pains -check
Not to mention ALWAYS thirsty, and urination every hour, plus twice in the middle of the night... = symptoms of diabetes I have been trying to find out about.
I have been eating a diet high in fruit, thinking I was making huge strides, but nothing was changing for me. In this movie the patients eat a diet that allows NO sugary foods (fruit, for example, or even carrots) and while their illnesses disappeared, their mental health changed too.
I know this sounds extreme to the majority of the population but this makes perfect sense to me and i'm willing to give this a shot and see what happens with me mentally.
I tried the diet yesterday and today and I felt 100% better by the 2nd day already, then I decided to test it by eating honey w/ a banana and immediately the good feelings went away and I felt tired, cranky, and anxious .
So I embark on this challenge and I am going to update along each major change, I am jumping back on the anti-hypoglycemia diet...
Now the only problem is work. Work stresses me out, and is extremely physical. 8 hours a day on a farm, 4 days a week. I have realized that I can not change my lifestyle with this pressure on me, It just becomes too much. The only time I was able to pick myself back up was when I had 2 weeks off. I'm actually going to tell my boss that I have to take a few weeks off to take care of health conditions, and if I'm not allowed for some reason, I'm going to quit (my program ends in a month anyways), because then I will have 1200 dollars at least to do this thing which can give me 3 months of food before I have to have found another job.
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
My Relapse into AVOIDANCE!!
Is happening right now.
I have been wanting to quit work because it has been too much stress and too much physically for me, and so I tried to phone and quit. Well I somehow was misunderstood, and agreed to working half days instead, which is still too much for me.
So then I just stopped going. It's not really the same experience of guilt when the company that you work for only has 3 people employed, and you're one of them. It's also not exactly the same situation when you're on a program that you are being paid through, because this program (who has been kindly paying me) is going to get a call from my employer and is going to try and call me, and this might alert my youth job-helper person who may call me also, etc....
Also my last cheque is still at my workplace....
So what to do? I'm sitting here feeling extremely guilty and shameful but I don't have a reasonable explanation and I just don't want to face it for fear that I'll sign myself up to work again. And of course more importantly, the judgement! But I feel just as guilty as when I skipped months of school secretly at a time!
I was planning on going today to work and explaining, but I slept in, making the situation a lot worse....
At least I know where the hidden key at the workplace is, so that when the office is closed, I can just sneak in grab my cheque and get out of there... Man I hate this feeling!!
Is happening right now.
I have been wanting to quit work because it has been too much stress and too much physically for me, and so I tried to phone and quit. Well I somehow was misunderstood, and agreed to working half days instead, which is still too much for me.
So then I just stopped going. It's not really the same experience of guilt when the company that you work for only has 3 people employed, and you're one of them. It's also not exactly the same situation when you're on a program that you are being paid through, because this program (who has been kindly paying me) is going to get a call from my employer and is going to try and call me, and this might alert my youth job-helper person who may call me also, etc....
Also my last cheque is still at my workplace....
So what to do? I'm sitting here feeling extremely guilty and shameful but I don't have a reasonable explanation and I just don't want to face it for fear that I'll sign myself up to work again. And of course more importantly, the judgement! But I feel just as guilty as when I skipped months of school secretly at a time!
I was planning on going today to work and explaining, but I slept in, making the situation a lot worse....
At least I know where the hidden key at the workplace is, so that when the office is closed, I can just sneak in grab my cheque and get out of there... Man I hate this feeling!!
((hugz))
Yeah, working can be tough sometimes.. I still wish I hadn't 'bailed out' at some jobs, looking back they were quite nice lol..
I've read some of your back entries - you've got quite some 'exposure therapy' back there!!
I'm really glad you went brave and did the work behind stands and at the shop etc - it's valuable work/life experience too!!
Did anything specific happen to make you want to avoid the workplace? Can we help?
Is it difficult work right now, or just 'boring'? I know picking potatoes was annoying but it was over soon!! (Maybe it's just a bit of annoying work for a few days and then it'll get better?)
Definitely at least get the cheque.. Maybe you can tell them you haven't been feeling well...?
Maybe some of them could even have ideas what could improve your health/wellbeing/nutrition? (Or free/discounted food?)
I'm surprised, didn't you get free food or heavily discounted?
My dad said that working hard physical work for him was easier when he wasn't vegetarian (he tried, at a time). Are there any other veg*ns at work? Maybe you could find out what kind of stuff do they eat?
Also another thought - is there a community where you could finish high school too? Just curious.
Take care & ((Hugz!!))
Yeah, working can be tough sometimes.. I still wish I hadn't 'bailed out' at some jobs, looking back they were quite nice lol..
I've read some of your back entries - you've got quite some 'exposure therapy' back there!!
I'm really glad you went brave and did the work behind stands and at the shop etc - it's valuable work/life experience too!!
Did anything specific happen to make you want to avoid the workplace? Can we help?
Is it difficult work right now, or just 'boring'? I know picking potatoes was annoying but it was over soon!! (Maybe it's just a bit of annoying work for a few days and then it'll get better?)
Definitely at least get the cheque.. Maybe you can tell them you haven't been feeling well...?
Maybe some of them could even have ideas what could improve your health/wellbeing/nutrition? (Or free/discounted food?)
I'm surprised, didn't you get free food or heavily discounted?
My dad said that working hard physical work for him was easier when he wasn't vegetarian (he tried, at a time). Are there any other veg*ns at work? Maybe you could find out what kind of stuff do they eat?
Also another thought - is there a community where you could finish high school too? Just curious.
Take care & ((Hugz!!))
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I won't pick up the cheque without consent in that case.
I tried calling yesterday but they ended up calling me instead! And that felt like I was put on the spot, especially for not calling, so I freaked out and didn't pick up.... I really, really regret that now.
I was going to get my youth worker person to call them for me maybe and explain if I couldn't, so I called him yesterday and learned that he doesn't work there anymore. That must have been what he was calling about before, when I didn't pick up... Woops
At this point it seems almost impossible to call. I think I might send them an email explaining everything instead of calling. I am not a good explainer when I try to be, and end up lying out of fear... Not to mention the fact that I have no idea how angry they are at me for this. Yesterday they called twice, once at 5:30, and the office is usually closed 4:00, so they must be working overtime because of my absence. I feel like a bitch!
do you think an email is okay in this case... I am going to be explaining my social anxiety
I tried calling yesterday but they ended up calling me instead! And that felt like I was put on the spot, especially for not calling, so I freaked out and didn't pick up.... I really, really regret that now.
I was going to get my youth worker person to call them for me maybe and explain if I couldn't, so I called him yesterday and learned that he doesn't work there anymore. That must have been what he was calling about before, when I didn't pick up... Woops
At this point it seems almost impossible to call. I think I might send them an email explaining everything instead of calling. I am not a good explainer when I try to be, and end up lying out of fear... Not to mention the fact that I have no idea how angry they are at me for this. Yesterday they called twice, once at 5:30, and the office is usually closed 4:00, so they must be working overtime because of my absence. I feel like a bitch!
do you think an email is okay in this case... I am going to be explaining my social anxiety
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Okay, good, emails are okay. so I sent the email. It's nerve wracking even sending an email, do I sound ____, do I sound ______, does it all sound like lousy emotional excuses? Hm
It really is pretty commong, actually, when I asked my older sister how I should quit, before I got myself into this mess, she told me "just stop going, that's what I did". She admitted that she suffered with a lot of guilt and anxiety over it. I never even thought about doing that before the idea was reintroduced...
I may go pick up my cheque or I may go with a friend and have her pop in and get it for me out of shame. I wonder if that's a possibility, legally? That's what my sister did.
Thanks for all advice Phocas, Feathers and Ace. Really, really helped me out, so appreciated, lovely souls
It really is pretty commong, actually, when I asked my older sister how I should quit, before I got myself into this mess, she told me "just stop going, that's what I did". She admitted that she suffered with a lot of guilt and anxiety over it. I never even thought about doing that before the idea was reintroduced...
I may go pick up my cheque or I may go with a friend and have her pop in and get it for me out of shame. I wonder if that's a possibility, legally? That's what my sister did.
Thanks for all advice Phocas, Feathers and Ace. Really, really helped me out, so appreciated, lovely souls
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I'm not so sure about this journal thing anymore. It just feels way too... not me. The point of it was the practice putting myself right out there. But I'm going to share less, and less often, and just share what others could relate to as to help them, as well as sharing what's helping me.
So having no job is awesome. I feel so much happier and able to move on with my life. There is so much less dread and depression. The right decision
I'm taking 2 night classes, English 12 and Bio 12, and they are very nerve wracking, both equally. English12 is in a big class, and we have to hand in things that we right to a teacher, a human being reads the thoughts I put down. That is scary and often has me stumped for ideas of what to write. (I can't write on command, in public)
Bio12 is basically online but with a teacher there just in case, and a class to go to for 3 hours 2 days a week.
I'm still making alterations to my diet believing that is one of the most important parts of conquering anxiety and depression for me in particular. I have started eating a diet that will stabilize my blood sugar and that is also alkaline. Not to mention it is highly anti-inflammatory, and highly rich in minerals. It's basically vegetable, nuts and seeds, seaweeds, sprouts based, no grains, meat or dairy. I felt positively amazing the day I started and knew this will be a good outcome. It's hard to stick to but I feel it will be worth it. My energy levels are already more stable, my mood is more stable, my anxiety is more stable, my depression is more stable, I can fall asleep whenever I want to and quickly and I sleep deep, all in the last few days. I'm just more stable.
Also taking B12, Vitamin D, and making sure to get fatty acids every day...
I've also taken it upon myself to start a heavy-metal detox plan, basically this just means cilantro juice and chlorella (an algae that detoxifies heavy metals). These are both chelators, they have been proven to carry heavy metals out of the body, especially famous for detoxing mercury, but they both detox most heavy metals thoroughly. I decided to do this after realizing that whenever I drank cilantro juice I goting an immediate response of detoxification (increased anxiety, warmth in the back of my head, feeling of car sickness and taste of metal in my mouth). Because I experienced intense physical anxiety during that point, I thought it would be important to start a heavy metal detox because that could mean whatever I needed to detox is contributing to the anxiety.
I hope people who aren't into natural healing don't think I'm nutso
I'll tell ya'll how it goes.
Once my energy levels rise back up I plan to start exercising, in the weeks to come. I'd also like to start experimenting with aromatherapy
This is my all out war on numb-living!
So having no job is awesome. I feel so much happier and able to move on with my life. There is so much less dread and depression. The right decision
I'm taking 2 night classes, English 12 and Bio 12, and they are very nerve wracking, both equally. English12 is in a big class, and we have to hand in things that we right to a teacher, a human being reads the thoughts I put down. That is scary and often has me stumped for ideas of what to write. (I can't write on command, in public)
Bio12 is basically online but with a teacher there just in case, and a class to go to for 3 hours 2 days a week.
I'm still making alterations to my diet believing that is one of the most important parts of conquering anxiety and depression for me in particular. I have started eating a diet that will stabilize my blood sugar and that is also alkaline. Not to mention it is highly anti-inflammatory, and highly rich in minerals. It's basically vegetable, nuts and seeds, seaweeds, sprouts based, no grains, meat or dairy. I felt positively amazing the day I started and knew this will be a good outcome. It's hard to stick to but I feel it will be worth it. My energy levels are already more stable, my mood is more stable, my anxiety is more stable, my depression is more stable, I can fall asleep whenever I want to and quickly and I sleep deep, all in the last few days. I'm just more stable.
Also taking B12, Vitamin D, and making sure to get fatty acids every day...
I've also taken it upon myself to start a heavy-metal detox plan, basically this just means cilantro juice and chlorella (an algae that detoxifies heavy metals). These are both chelators, they have been proven to carry heavy metals out of the body, especially famous for detoxing mercury, but they both detox most heavy metals thoroughly. I decided to do this after realizing that whenever I drank cilantro juice I goting an immediate response of detoxification (increased anxiety, warmth in the back of my head, feeling of car sickness and taste of metal in my mouth). Because I experienced intense physical anxiety during that point, I thought it would be important to start a heavy metal detox because that could mean whatever I needed to detox is contributing to the anxiety.
I hope people who aren't into natural healing don't think I'm nutso
I'll tell ya'll how it goes.
Once my energy levels rise back up I plan to start exercising, in the weeks to come. I'd also like to start experimenting with aromatherapy
This is my all out war on numb-living!
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I'm in a writey mood so I have to make a second post. x) Contradicting my last statement of less writing from now on.
I had this dream last night about vulnerability.
I was standing outside of this building in a crowd of people. All of a sudden in the back of the crowd one person accused another person of doing something wrong. All of the people in the crowd turned and faced the accused with eyes wide and staring, he was this guy who looked sort of like Adam Lambert and had the same vibe (lol I have a lot of respect for that guy and how he puts his true self so vulnerably out there in front of mass crowds). Anyways, with all eyes turned on him he said something like "I understand that you're angry at me but with all of these people staring at me I'm going to have a panic attack! So can we just end this thing". Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming urge to say something in front of this huge crowd and stand up for this guy, I was so inspired by his honesty about his panic.
Of course, i'm terrified of crowds in real life, I have social withdrawl issues and am a really insecure person!
But I went up to the center where the crowd had circled around him and said loudly soemthing like "This guy was honest about his panic, this fight isn't worth him feeling this way" And I gave him a BIG hug in front of everybody, during this hug he turned into a very overweight person, but it made the hug just feel so much more real. The hug in this dream was the most real connection and hug I have ever experienced in my life, it felt electric and hard to explain other than it felt like pure love for another human being, but more importantly it was the first connection I had as a vulnerable person to another vulnerable person, two people with no walls up to hide themselves. I gave him a second hug after that, in which he kind of turned nervously, which defied my image of him as this person who shared feelings openly in front of everybody, and during the second hug this feeling vanished as he turned...
Later I knew he was looking for me to thank me, and I found him on a playground swing. He invited me over to his friends, but again his image morphed, and he didn't resemble the original person at all. Now he was a thin, gaunt, almost sickly looking person with the same hair cut. I stood along his group of friends and they talked about things that I was not interested in at all, they talked about things that all the rest of people talk about... Dare I say shallow things, or flat, spiritless things. His walls were up like the rest of the crowdpeople, and so I walked away.
Now what I gather from this dream has to do with Love only happening with vulnerability. I saw this man as a savior, and I blew up his importance in my eyes because he was true to himself and took a stand for himself by being vulnerable to others. I saw him as this glorious person, possibly as a teacher. I was inspired and attracted by this, so much as to want to face a ton of fears be vulnerable and true to myself by helping him and showing emotion for a stranger. But upon this short learning that I gained, upon hugging him and facing that fear, my illusion of him as a savior vanished, and instead I had become his, because at this point I was being more vulnerable than he was, and so I was putting more of myself out there. But really, I had been inspired by him, and so it was always his own vulnerability that had helped him.
I feel like that dream character passed something to me. Becuase I can look back on that dream and feel that real feeling of love and connection that people can only have with both of their walls down (and I don't mean love in a relationship way, but simply as the opposite feeling of fear) and it makes me want to be vulnerable and true all the time so I can experience that in life again.
This dream also represents the 3 voices in your mind, the one that is trying very hard and is vulnerable like a child (inner child part) but is accused by your perfectionist (cruel parent part), and YOU as the person who has to step in and just show love and appreciation (Love and guidance part) to protect your efforts.
With that same 3voices concept, it also shows how I live in repetition in my daily life, I put a lot of effort in, and that part of myself may stand up for myself in desperation, but if I'm not true to myself and I am living a shallow life, my 'savior' part of myself walks away. I guess this dream is trying to show me what I am doing wrong to help myself, and what I have to do from now on, by supplying a reminder of the feeling that I am chasing and an example of what prevents that feeling.
(this long post was not really for people to read but for me to put down to remember)
I had this dream last night about vulnerability.
I was standing outside of this building in a crowd of people. All of a sudden in the back of the crowd one person accused another person of doing something wrong. All of the people in the crowd turned and faced the accused with eyes wide and staring, he was this guy who looked sort of like Adam Lambert and had the same vibe (lol I have a lot of respect for that guy and how he puts his true self so vulnerably out there in front of mass crowds). Anyways, with all eyes turned on him he said something like "I understand that you're angry at me but with all of these people staring at me I'm going to have a panic attack! So can we just end this thing". Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming urge to say something in front of this huge crowd and stand up for this guy, I was so inspired by his honesty about his panic.
Of course, i'm terrified of crowds in real life, I have social withdrawl issues and am a really insecure person!
But I went up to the center where the crowd had circled around him and said loudly soemthing like "This guy was honest about his panic, this fight isn't worth him feeling this way" And I gave him a BIG hug in front of everybody, during this hug he turned into a very overweight person, but it made the hug just feel so much more real. The hug in this dream was the most real connection and hug I have ever experienced in my life, it felt electric and hard to explain other than it felt like pure love for another human being, but more importantly it was the first connection I had as a vulnerable person to another vulnerable person, two people with no walls up to hide themselves. I gave him a second hug after that, in which he kind of turned nervously, which defied my image of him as this person who shared feelings openly in front of everybody, and during the second hug this feeling vanished as he turned...
Later I knew he was looking for me to thank me, and I found him on a playground swing. He invited me over to his friends, but again his image morphed, and he didn't resemble the original person at all. Now he was a thin, gaunt, almost sickly looking person with the same hair cut. I stood along his group of friends and they talked about things that I was not interested in at all, they talked about things that all the rest of people talk about... Dare I say shallow things, or flat, spiritless things. His walls were up like the rest of the crowdpeople, and so I walked away.
Now what I gather from this dream has to do with Love only happening with vulnerability. I saw this man as a savior, and I blew up his importance in my eyes because he was true to himself and took a stand for himself by being vulnerable to others. I saw him as this glorious person, possibly as a teacher. I was inspired and attracted by this, so much as to want to face a ton of fears be vulnerable and true to myself by helping him and showing emotion for a stranger. But upon this short learning that I gained, upon hugging him and facing that fear, my illusion of him as a savior vanished, and instead I had become his, because at this point I was being more vulnerable than he was, and so I was putting more of myself out there. But really, I had been inspired by him, and so it was always his own vulnerability that had helped him.
I feel like that dream character passed something to me. Becuase I can look back on that dream and feel that real feeling of love and connection that people can only have with both of their walls down (and I don't mean love in a relationship way, but simply as the opposite feeling of fear) and it makes me want to be vulnerable and true all the time so I can experience that in life again.
This dream also represents the 3 voices in your mind, the one that is trying very hard and is vulnerable like a child (inner child part) but is accused by your perfectionist (cruel parent part), and YOU as the person who has to step in and just show love and appreciation (Love and guidance part) to protect your efforts.
With that same 3voices concept, it also shows how I live in repetition in my daily life, I put a lot of effort in, and that part of myself may stand up for myself in desperation, but if I'm not true to myself and I am living a shallow life, my 'savior' part of myself walks away. I guess this dream is trying to show me what I am doing wrong to help myself, and what I have to do from now on, by supplying a reminder of the feeling that I am chasing and an example of what prevents that feeling.
(this long post was not really for people to read but for me to put down to remember)
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Real or not, it must've been good to know you're still capable of feeling emotions in their raw form (like they are supposed to). I see a lot of people forget how it felt, and 'just deal with'' the toned down emotions they feel is correct/right for adult humans. Not knowing there's much much more, essentially right there within their grasp.
Good for you, EA. Dreams flow without intrusive reasoning/artificial mental regulation, it shows you're on a good path.
Good for you, EA. Dreams flow without intrusive reasoning/artificial mental regulation, it shows you're on a good path.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Just an update on how i'm doing
I'm not using this site very often, I don't know, it seems like there are very kind of dwelling-posts on here and not alot about cure-methods!
So I've been spending a lot of time on healing-focused forums instead
I'm going to nightschool, 4 days a week. It's really easy... But I hate handing in writing. It makes me anxious...
Still very dietary focused, still think it's the way out, but still have not taken it to the max. I've discovered how important sugar is in the anxiety equation, by eliminating it for 3-4 days and reintroducing it (yes, fruits included) and feeling immediate anxiety resulting. I have done this about 4 times (3 days off sugar, 1 day on, 3 days off, 1 day on, 3 days off, 1 day on) to make sure of it's effect on me. It's stronger than I realized. Still persuaded about hypoglycemia and candida. On day 3 off of sugar I have very little anxiety, to the point of feeling unusually comfortable in public. So now after all of this off and on preparation and transition i'm going off for 30 days to see. I'll post about that in 30 days and tell you how my anxiety is
Still doing the mild heavy metal (mercury) detox. Because I heard mercury can cause social anxiety and depression, and I had hints that I had some. (does anybody here have amalgam fillings of mercury?? If so, you are definitely without a doubt mercury toxic, unfortunately.) Anyways, there is no way to really tell if that's working because I didn't get a mercury test done, and it takes a long time to detox heavy metals (a year sometimes) But I feel like it's working simply because my reaction during detoxing the metals is lessening... And actually i'm a lot less irritable. Don't know if that's related. Kind of vague.
On another note, my sleep is WAY off track. I've been going to bed around 5am, sometimes as late as 9AM waking up at 3:30-7:00pm! It's horrible and does not help me feel connected to the world. It also is enabling my computer addiction, what is there to do when you have insomnia all night long???
Also hanging out with an old best friend and going to a legitimate professional haunted house next weekend! I usually am not good at tolerating scary things but because of all the work i've done with anxiety and such, scary things aren't as scary, so I think it'll actually be fun and not that scary (very new person coming out!)
Anything else?? Hmm... not really...
The most beautiful music I know of today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuBsuFUcpHg
I'm not using this site very often, I don't know, it seems like there are very kind of dwelling-posts on here and not alot about cure-methods!
So I've been spending a lot of time on healing-focused forums instead
I'm going to nightschool, 4 days a week. It's really easy... But I hate handing in writing. It makes me anxious...
Still very dietary focused, still think it's the way out, but still have not taken it to the max. I've discovered how important sugar is in the anxiety equation, by eliminating it for 3-4 days and reintroducing it (yes, fruits included) and feeling immediate anxiety resulting. I have done this about 4 times (3 days off sugar, 1 day on, 3 days off, 1 day on, 3 days off, 1 day on) to make sure of it's effect on me. It's stronger than I realized. Still persuaded about hypoglycemia and candida. On day 3 off of sugar I have very little anxiety, to the point of feeling unusually comfortable in public. So now after all of this off and on preparation and transition i'm going off for 30 days to see. I'll post about that in 30 days and tell you how my anxiety is
Still doing the mild heavy metal (mercury) detox. Because I heard mercury can cause social anxiety and depression, and I had hints that I had some. (does anybody here have amalgam fillings of mercury?? If so, you are definitely without a doubt mercury toxic, unfortunately.) Anyways, there is no way to really tell if that's working because I didn't get a mercury test done, and it takes a long time to detox heavy metals (a year sometimes) But I feel like it's working simply because my reaction during detoxing the metals is lessening... And actually i'm a lot less irritable. Don't know if that's related. Kind of vague.
On another note, my sleep is WAY off track. I've been going to bed around 5am, sometimes as late as 9AM waking up at 3:30-7:00pm! It's horrible and does not help me feel connected to the world. It also is enabling my computer addiction, what is there to do when you have insomnia all night long???
Also hanging out with an old best friend and going to a legitimate professional haunted house next weekend! I usually am not good at tolerating scary things but because of all the work i've done with anxiety and such, scary things aren't as scary, so I think it'll actually be fun and not that scary (very new person coming out!)
Anything else?? Hmm... not really...
The most beautiful music I know of today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuBsuFUcpHg
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